DEAR ANONYMOUS

You posted 3 comments on my blog today, and although I would like to respond directly to you, you've made that impossible since you posted them anonymously.  According to my Feedjit App, you live in Mesa, Arizona, but that doesn't give me enough information to locate you.  So I will post this open letter with the hopes that you will come back to my blog to "check in" and will find it.  And by the way, it seems to me that those who post anonymously are too cowardly to post using either their real name or at least a way for someone to contact them.  If a person is secure in their opinions, shouldn't they be willing and able to handle whatever response they may get?  I'm not hiding behind a pseudonym here, and I'm certainly not posting anonymously.  I'm very firm in my opinions about the lies and deception that are laced throughout Mormonism, and I'm ready to discuss them at any time.

The first comment you posted was this:  "Mormonism is true. I am a Mormon. No, I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I know who I am and I won't forget it, not now, not ever. You may have forgotten who you are and what your divine destiny is, but trying to convince others that it's not true isn't right. How can you do this to others? How can you make these awful claims of the truthfulness of the gospel? How can you leave it when the Spirit can be felt so strongly at times? How can you do this to yourself?"  By Anonymous on Mormonism Seuss-ified at 1:21 PM

You say that although you know who you are and won't forget it, not now, not ever, that I may have forgotten who I am and what my divine destiny is.  You go on to say that trying to convice others that it's not true isn't right, and ask how I can do this to others, even going on to ask how I can make these awful claims of the truthfulness of the gospel... how can I do this to myself?  To answer your questions, how can I NOT do this?  When I discovered the lies and deception laced throughout Mormonism, I was flabbergasted.  I was born and raised in the Mormon Church, and I never expected to discover that the religion on which I had based my life was actually a fraudulent scam.  But that's exactly what it is, and if you would do some independent research instead of relying on what the Mormon Church tells you to believe, you might discover the truth as well.  If you want to read the entire background on my journey away from Mormonism, you can read my book which is posted on this blog.

The second comment you posted was this:  "You must not know what Mormon heaven is if you'd rather choose the other way.  And you must not understand what the other way holds."  By Anonymous on Heaven... or Hell??? at 1:24 PM

Yes, I know what "Mormon Heaven" is claimed to be.  The Celestial Kingdom.  A fantasy place made up by Joseph Smith, along with two "lower" kingdoms called the Terrestrial Kingdom and the Telestial Kingdom.  He made up a lot of stuff, and simply because there were people who bought it all doesn't mean it's true.  As the saying goes:

And as far as what "the other way" holds (i.e. Hell), I'll take my chances.  After all, no living person really knows what the Afterlife holds.  They can profess a religious belief, but no one knows what is true until it's too late to tell others.

Your third comment is the most interesting by far... and definitely the most rambling:  "Why would Joseph Smith create such a lie and still continue on with it? If it wasn't true, why did he allow himself to be tarred and feathered? If it was a made-up story, why would he choose to preach it and show such strength even though he was killed in the end? If it was a lie, why would he allow his friends and family and HIMSELF to be tortured, beaten, spit upon, and torn up in such an awful way? Why didn't he, if it wasn't true, just drop the whole idea in the end? Make people like him like the rest of the world would have done? And if it's a lie, why did so many people join? Why not just his closest friends and families? Why millions? Why? Because: it IS true. Quite often when people have something great to share, it isn't believed. The world says it is so amazing that it can't be true and the people all believe the world. Except for the ones who really try, who really pray; why would the early members, including Joseph Smith, have kept going had it been a lie? It makes no  sense; if you have the chance to win twenty million dollars but people say it's not real, it's fake, but it really is, are you going to give up, knowing that you could have gotten that twenty million dollars, or that celestial salvation, in the end? Would you give up your chance on twenty million just because people discourage you? Or would you work at it and keep going until you HAVE twenty million? Think on that. Because it is true. And the reason people keep going through all the trials and tribulations brought upon them by the world is because they have found something great. It's because they've found something amazing, astounding, something worth sharing. Once you got your twenty million, wouldn't you share the chance with your family members, friends? Wouldn't you want them to be just as happy as you are? But the reward of celestial salvation is MUCH more than twenty million; it's more than anyone could even comprehend on their own. The things that He has in store for us are amazing, are truly astounding, are way greater than any trials or tribulations could ever overcome. Why shouldn't we share it with people? Why shouldn't we want our family members and friends, everyone, be as happy as we are? That's why we continue on. That's why we don't stop. That's why we don't and why we will never give up. That's the reason we are so happy. Because it is true and we know it. We know who we are. We know who we can become. We know what's in store and what we can gain. We know it. We know who we are. I know who I am. And I hope you do too; because if you decide to continue like this, you won't get your twenty million. Why would anyone give up that chance?"  By Anonymous on Called to Dupe Them - LDS Hymn Parody at 1:35 PM

When someone goes on and on to the point of rambling, it is usually a sign that a nerve has been hit.  Perhaps that is the case with your three comments, particularly since they were posted this afternoon in the course of 14 minutes.  To comment on your first list of questions from this third comment, I'll break it down.

1.  Why would Joseph Smith create such a lie and still continue on with it?  Plain and simple, it is my opinion that Joseph Smith created Mormonism to gain power over people and to get their money.  He became a rich and powerful man because of Mormonism.  And as far as I am concerned, that was his motivation.  Plus he pretty much got to say whatever he wanted, and people hung on his every word.  Plus he creating polygamy, marrying 10 teenage girls (one as young as 14), and 11 women who were already married to living husbands.  Yes, I do believe the his sexual appetite and desire to bed numerous women was the motivation behind his invention of polygamy and polyandry.  The evidence is there.  Just look at it.

2.   If it wasn't true, why did he allow himself to be tarred and feathered?  This question is actually pretty funny.  If a group of people were going to tar and feather someone, the act doesn't occur because the victim has "allowed" it to happen.  They are captured - and then tarred and feathered.  What you need to ask yourself is WHY was Joseph Smith tarred and feathered.   Research that question and the name Nancy Miranda Johnson will come up.  Here's a link that gives some interesting information about this incident.  And before you pass this information off as "anti-Mormon propaganda," please remember that these are historical facts. 

3.  If it was a made-up story, why would he choose to preach it and show such strength even though he was killed in the end?  Well, I've already stated my opinion on why Joseph Smith chose to preach Mormonism.  As far as showing strength and being killed in the end, he was not killed because of "religious persecution" as touted by the Mormon Church (and as I was told growing up).  He was arrested and placed in Carthage Jail because he ordered the destruction of the Nauvoo Expositor printing press (and the burning of the building in which it was housed) after a story was published exposing the truth behind Joseph Smith's practice of polygamy and polyandry.  And the mob that attacked him while he was in Carthage Jail did so because of Joseph Smith's practice of polygamy/polyandry and what was exposed in the article published in the Nauvoo Expositor (and by the way, did you know that he had a gun with him during the shoot-out and shot it?  That was news to me, too).  The fact that he was in jail for this act did not make him a religious martyr upon his death but rather a criminal.  It really irritates me that I was taught otherwise, and sang hymns like "Praise to the Man."  It wasn't until I did my own independent research that I began to discover the truth behind it all.  I just wish I had done my research much earlier in my life so I wouldn't have spent 52 years in a religion that plays so fast and loose with the truth - and was obviously a hoax from the get-go.

4.  If it was a lie, why would he allow his friends and family and HIMSELF to be tortured, beaten, spit upon, and torn up in such an awful way?  Why didn't he, if it wasn't true, just drop the whole idea in the end?  Those are good questions and ones that in most likelihood have several answers.  Yes, the Mormons were persecuted for their beliefs.  But Joseph Smith was the one who had the most to lose if he were to turn away from it.  In my opinion, he craved the power that he gained by being the founder of Mormonism.  From what I have read, he was very charasmatic and was able to get people to follow him.  But in the process of establishing Mormonism, he told a lot of lies and kept digging his hole deeper and deeper.  How could he suddenly say it wasn't true?  How could he turn away from it when he had created such a money machine?  No, instead of turning away from it, he just kept moving and moving and moving... from New York... to Ohio... to Missouri... to Illinois.... hoping that people would leave him and his followers alone.  But in the end, he couldn't just leave well enough alone and began a campaign to run for President of the United States.  Such arrogance.  And that was probably the final nail in his coffin.  Of course, after his death, Brigham Young took over and moved the Mormons to Utah where he built an incredible empire and made himself a very rich man.   And so the lies were perpetuated... and more men became rich and powerful on the coat tails of the "Saints."

5.  And if it's a lie, why did so many people join? Why not just his closest friends and families? Why millions?  Why did so many people join?  Well, the answer is obvious.  They were told lies that they bought - and the Mormon community was so closed off from the rest of civilization that they became trapped in the lifestyle.  Back in the beginnings of the church, they didn't have the internet (or Google) to lead them to the truth.  Lies weren't so easily discovered until the advent of the internet, but now they are easily uncovered.  You really should do some research.  Just Google it.  Like this paraphase of a scripture used by the Mormon Church says, "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of Google, and the truth will be made known unto you."  Of course, the lies and deception continue today, and people who join the Mormon Church today are not told the truth behind Mormonism.  It isn't until they begin to do their own research that they discover that the religion they have joined is a fraud.  Very sad state of affairs.

As far as the statistics broadcasted by the Mormon Church today, it claims 14 Million members.  Worldwide.  And what is the total world population today?  7 Billion.  At 14 Million, that is .2% of the world's population.  That's not even 1%.  Not even 1/2 of 1%.  After all, 1 Billion is 1,000 million.  But the fact is that number is highly inflated since it includes inactive members, excommunicated members, and deceased members (no, they don't take those names out of their numbers - look it up). So let's talk active members. Perhaps 4 Million.  And at the real number of 4 million members, that is .06% of 7 Billion.  Barely over 1/2 of 1% of the entire world's population.  So what does the Mormon Church really have to brag about in saying it has 14 Million members?  Not very much when you compare that number to the world's population.  Yes, I know - that's why the Mormon Church has baptism for the dead.  For those who never had the opportunity to hear the gospel.  Just another one of Joseph Smith's inventions.

You use the analogy of the 20 Million dollars.  Well, my blog contains another analogy.  This is a quote by Christopher Miller.

Some of you are probably thinking, "Why don't you just leave them (the Mormons) alone?" So I ask you, if you saw a thirsty man drinking water from a well you knew to be poisoned, would you let him continue to drink or would you guide him to a safe well?

In my ExMormon state, I prefer to try to guide people away from this bogus religion rather than just sit by quietly and watch them continue to be poisoned.  Seems like the humane thing to do.

And in closing, Dear Anonymous, you can keep the 20 Million dollars.  Particularly if Joseph Smith has anything to do with handing it out.  Because in actuality, it will probably be illegal tender left over from his Kirtland Safety Society Anti-Banking Company scheme.

HOW SKEWED IS THE DOCTRINE - LDS Hymn Parody #33

Sometimes I feel like I've become like a broken record, and that people who read this blog just think, "yeah, yeah... lies, deception, contradictions, blah, blah, blah..."  Of course, I'm sure that is pretty close to what TBMs who come here think (because some have actually told me so).  In fact, one TBM who came on here told me, "...your claim to intelligent reasoning seems a tad flat. It seems that your reasoning and investigations have developed a partisan approach that many disenchanted Mormons frequently and unintentionally employ. Your flippant discourse is telling."  Like I responded to this person, I am not trying to be "flippant."  I just think people should use their brains and not rely on what others have told them to believe.  And as far as the label of "disenchanted Mormon" goes, I am an ExMormon, having worked my way through the arena of "disenchantment" many years ago, arriving at the point where I saw Mormonism for what it is and opted against being further associated with a supposed religious organization that plays so fast and loose with the truth.

The fact is that Mormon doctrine is filled with lies, and so is its depiction of its history.  Because of that, I think it is important for everyone to examine the history and doctrine more closely, and not to simply accept what it is they are told to believe.  You know, the Mormon Party Line.  Deciding things for yourself is very important as is critical thinking.  When a person accepts what is told to them rather than doing any research or investigation on their own, they are giving up their own power.  If they decide to accept something despite the problems, at least they know the problems and are making a conscoius decision.  After all, some people are able to work their way through the problems and issus to arrive at conclusions that are suitable for themselves despite all the gray areas.  Others (like me) are more into black-and-white thinking and require factual justification for what they believe.  On a couple of the discussion boards that I visit from time to time, I've been told that simply because there are lies laced through Mormonism, including its history, it doesn't mean that it isn't a legitimate religion because all religions are composed of lies.  I don't understand that logic, and I don't see how that makes the lies okay, but at least these people are thinking and not simply relying on what others have told them.

Of course, in my opinion, the most blatant example of relying simply on what a person is told is LDS missionaries.  True, some of them know the actual truth and preach the gospel in spite of it, either due to family/social pressures or the "gray area" thinking I spoke about above.  But there are many, many missionaries out there who do not know the actual history of the Mormon Church or its actual doctrines.  For instance, most do not know the actual truth behind polygamy, the fact that Joseph Smith had 33 wives, or the fact that polyandry was practiced by Joseph Smith, Brigham Young, Parley P. Pratt, and others (in that they married women who were already married to living husbands).  When faced with this fact, they say it didn't happen, and that polygamy started with Brigham Young on the Trek West to help widows and orphans (which is what I was told growing up and believed for way too long).  This false scenario came clearly into view one day when I went on http://www.mormon.org/ and visited the link to chat with missionaries.  During that visit, I chatted with a missionary named Elliott and asked him what could be the justification for polyandry being practiced - and he denied that it had ever been practiced.  When I told him that it is verified on the Mormon Church's own genealogy website, http://www.familysearch.org/, he asked me for a link.  And when I gave it to him, he disappeared for over 5 minutes and then came back and said he was going to have to get back to me about that. 

Elliott was obviously blind-sided - and I can understand that feeling because I bought the official Mormon version of polygamy for many years, until I began doing my own research and discovered the truth behind it all.   I'm sure that if I were to go back on the missionary chat line again and ask about the varying version of the First Vision, mentioning the fact that there are at least 9 different versions that were told at various times, that I would get the same type of answer - "that's simply not true, and if there are variations, it's only because these versions were told to different people at different times who remembered them differently."  Yes, that is what I was told for many years - and unfortunately, I bought that explanation until I began doing my own research on that topic as well as many others.

So my advice is this:  Do your own research.  Do not rely on what you are told.  And do not be a Mormon as depicted in the Book of Mormon Musical who "just believes" despite all the mounting evidence.

And in that vein, here is my latest hymn parody based (again) on this theme...

HOW SKEWED IS THE DOCTRINE
Sung to the tune of How Firm a Foundation, #85

How skewed is the doctrine presented as His Word,
And what Mormons preach is so patently absurd.
What more can I say than to you I have said,
Beware of the Mormons, beware of the Mormons,
Beware of the Mormons, and don’t be misled.

For most of my life, I adhered to what they taught,
But now, looking back, I can see that I was caught.
For I could not see that it’s simply not true.
The lies and deception, the lies and deception,
The lies and deception I finally saw through.

They’ll tell you that it is the one true church of God,
But if you look deeper, you’ll see that it’s a fraud.
Just look at the facts, and it all will be plain.
The truth is apparent, the truth is apparent,
The truth is apparent, no questions remain.

© Diane Tingen, 7/25/2011

DON'T ACCEPT IT - LDS Hymn Parody #32

Being led down the garden path is a very interesting (and descriptive) phrase.  In doing some research on its origin, I found the following two explanations for it:

First, from Cliche Web:

This may have its origin in the story of Adam and Eve in the Bible when Satan convinces them that it's okay to eat from the tree of knowledge. Obviously, they were deceived.

And second, from Wikitionary:

Verb

to lead someone down the garden path

(idiomatic) To deceive, hoodwink

'It was thought that the early origins of the idiom was founded on the tendency for one village to marry off their unsuccessful brides to unknowing bachelors. The superstition of the groom not being able to see his veiled bride until the marriage proclamation had been made was widely practiced. To that end the bride remained veiled throughout the ceremony. When the veil was lifted, the groom would learn that he had been married to a stranger. Many ceremonies took place in private gardens and as such the tendency to deceive with intent had evolved to the idiom of leading someone down the garden path.' 

Regardless of its origin, though, my strong feeling is that this phrase as it is used today (meaning misguided, misled and/or deceived) is very applicable to the Mormon Church in that they attempt to present a very different picture than what is true in reality.  For instance, when someone is "investigating" the church, taking the missionary lessons, there are many things that are never mentioned - such as the very sordid history of the church, the truth behind polygamy and polyandry, the way in which the Book of Mormon was supposedly translated, the actual facts surrounding what Mormons present as the religious martyrdom of its Founder and first Prophet Joseph Smith, the fact that there are at least 9 versions of the First Vision, the facts surrounding the Book of Abraham, etc., etc.  I won't go into detail about all of these matters here, but will refer you instead to the book I have written regarding my issues with Mormonism (which is included on this blog).

Although the Mormon Church paints an enticing picture of its religion, and holds itself out to be "the one and only true church on the face of the earth," the garden path of Mormonism is very definitely a dead-end street that is paved with lies, deception, and contradictions (IMO, of course).

And this is the theme of my latest hymn parody...

DON'T ACCEPT IT
Sung to the tune of Count Your Blessings, #241

When I was a Mormon, I believed it all,
Bought into each detail, whether big or small.
I was so compliant, never questioned it,
Till I finally saw what I could not admit.

(Chorus)

Don’t accept it all on what they say,
Don’t buy into all the games they play.
Don’t accept it, simply do the math,
Don’t just let them lead you down the garden path.

Mormonism’s founder, namely Joseph Smith,
Made up this religion, it’s just one big myth.
From the Book of Mormon to the D&C,
He created scriptures, it’s so plain to see.

(Chorus)

Don’t accept it all on what they say,
Don’t buy into all the games they play.
Don’t accept it, simply do the math,
Don’t just let them lead you down the garden path.

From the phony doctrines to the history,
Mormonism’s not what it purports to be.
So when I began to research on my own,
It began to seem just like the Twilight Zone.

(Chorus)

Mormonism is a web of lies,
True religion is its fake disguise.
Mormonism, don’t be taken in,
There’s deception underneath the lies they spin.

It is so apparent if you study it,
Just like it unraveled for me, bit by bit,
Look at every element objectively,
And you will be shocked by all the lies you see.

(Chorus)

Mormonism is a total fraud,
Many lies behind its slick façade.
Mormonism, quickly run away,
Don’t accept a single word of what they say.

© Diane Tingen, 7/20/2011

A MIGHTY PUZZLE WAS THE CHURCH - LDS Hymn Parody #31

Yes, from the time I was a teenager, the Mormon Church was a puzzle to me.  So much of it just didn't make sense, but the message I received was that if I had issues, then I just needed to pray more, study the scriptures more, and be more obedient - and then it would make sense to me.  And believe me, I tried.  I accepted the proposition that it wasn't the church, it was ME - that I was not worthy enough to understand it all.  But regardless of how much confusion I felt, I kept plugging along, believing that if I just hung in there, one day it would all make sense.  Never happened.

When I began studying church history in preparation for going on a Mormon Church History Tour in the Summer of 2001, I immediately began to discover that there are all kinds of sordid details in Mormon Church History.  Naturally, my original reaction was disbelief - I must be misunderstanding something because these things couldn't have possibly taken place.  And then, when I came to terms with the fact that these were true accounts of what had occurred back then and all the lies laced throughout Mormon Church history and doctrine, I began to kick myself for not researching this earlier, for just going along and accepting it all without doing my own actual research.  In my opinion, this is one of the biggest problems with the Mormon Church - encouraging people to accept everything they are told and highly discouraging them from delving any deeper on their own.  Blind faith rather than actual reasoning or critical thinking.  Of course, since the church gives people the message that going ouside the "authorized areas" is a big No-No, it creates the type of situation where people "just believe."  But just believing based solely on what a person is told is not wise.  But that's what most Mormons do and seem to be just fine with it.

I am so glad that the Mormon Church is not a puzzle to me anymore.  I am very grateful that I finally broke the mold and began to research outside the "accepted parameters."  Of course, when I discovered that one of the characteristics of a cult is highly discouraging its members from researching outside what they have outlined as "accepted reading," I began to see the Mormon Church in a much different light.  Little did I know, all those years ago, when people told me that the Mormon Church was a cult, and I disagreed, becoming very annoyed that my church was being put in that highly offensive category, that they were actually right.  Live and learn.

And so, here is my latest hymn parody...

A MIGHTY PUZZLE WAS THE CHURCH

Sung to the tune of A Mighty Fortress is our God, #68

A mighty puzzle was the church,
For many years, I struggled.
No matter what I read or heard,
So many issues lingered.
And so, through my research,
I found the Mormon Church
Is filled with many lies,
And so I must surmise
That Joseph Smith just made it up.

So when I left the Mormon Church,
Enormous burdens lifted.
The puzzle had been solved at last,
And all confusion ended.

Where I was once devout,
I simply have no doubt
That it is just a ruse
For which there’s no excuse,
Religious cult that’s full of lies.

Apostates seek to know the truth,
And see behind the curtain.
They don’t accept what they are told,
They want to know for certain.
They see through the façade,
Believe that it’s a fraud,
Reject what is not true
With an objective view,
And aren’t afraid to speak the truth.

It was not easy when I left,
With family members active.
But though they may not understand,
The truth is my one motive.
For once I saw the lies,
There was no compromise.
I knew that if I stayed,
It would be a charade,
And now I live authentically.

© Diane Tingen, 7/15/2011

So many Mormons just stand there, staring at the missing puzzle piece,
not allowing themselves to take the leap and do their own research.
I will be forever grateful that I finally took that leap...

THE MORMONS WON'T OPEN THEIR EYES - LDS Hymn Parody #25

The hymn Before Thee, Lord, I Bow My Head reminds me of singing in my Ward Choir, growing up in Fresno, California. My mother was the Choir Director for several years when I was growing up, and I started singing in the Choir when I was only 12 years old.  My mother really liked to sing this particular hymn, probably because of the way it is arranged with the women singing first, and then the men repeating the lines.  So this hymn brings back some very good memories of my mother (who passed away in 1977 when I was only 25 years old).

My parody of this hymn highlights (again) the fact that Mormons (IMO) need to open their eyes and realize that the religion to which they adhere is built on a huge stack of lies. To me, that realization was a deal-breaker. Interestingly, some active Mormons (on various discussion boards) have actually asked me that since all religions have lies laced throughout them, why should Mormonism be any different? And I have replied that although that may be true, that doesn't make the lies acceptable, in any form. To me, accepting lies as the basis for a religion is rationalization at its core. Of course, the apologetic-type websites are the epitome of this mindset. If the Mormon Church is indeed the "one and only true church on the face of the earth," then why does it need so many Mormon Apologists out there? -- such as FAIR (Foundation for Apologetic Information and Research - http://www.fairlds.org) and FARMS (Foundation for Ancient Research and Mormon Studies - http://maxwellinstitute.byu.edu/). It just doesn't make sense to me. And one question seems to remain - if what the Prophet says is the bottom line ("When the Prophet speaks, the debate is over"), then shouldn't that be the only basis needed for belief? Not for me, of course, but for all the TBMs out there...

THE MORMONS WON'T OPEN THEIR EYES

Sung to the tune of Before Thee, Lord, I Bow My Head, #158

The Mormons won't open their eyes,
Though it's not true, no big surprise.
They just believe no matter what,
But in a web of lies they're caught.
Right from the start, it was a ruse.
Why can’t they see there’s no excuse
For the deceit and what they say,
All of the games the Mormons play.

Their Prophet dear named Joseph Smith
Created it, just one big myth.
The Mormon Church is just a fraud,
It’s not inspired, not Word of God.
What happened to integrity?
Why all the lies, dishonesty?
They work to dupe the ones they can,
A horrible, destructive plan.

All negatives they simply hide,
Actual truth, they can’t abide.
Don’t listen to the evidence,
Cause after all, it might make sense.
Believe by faith, and do not stray.
Free agency given away.
Obey it all, let’s get it straight,
The Prophet speaks, no more debate.

And so I try to make them see
The many lies so clear to me
Though it is hard to talk to them
When what I say they just condemn.
Why don’t they think and use their brains?
Simply content to stay in chains.
Their minds are numb, don’t need a sign,
All Mormons walk the party line.

© Diane Tingen, 7/4/2011

23?!!

Wow, I have now written 23 hymn parodies.  Can't believe it!!  When I started writing these, I figured I would just write a few and that would be it.  But for some reason, they just seem to keep coming to me.  Almost the minute I finish one, another one starts coming to me.  But in reality, I have pretty much gotten hooked on writing these - plus it's very cathartic for me.

Something funny.  In response to a post on the Sharing the Gospel through Social Media page on Facebook (which was put up to honor Joseph Smith on the 167th anniversary of his death on June 27 - and his supposed martyrdom), I posted one of my hymn parodies, entitled "Who is the Man?"  This hymn parody is set to the tune of Praise to the Man, #27 (which IMO glorifies Joseph Smith almost to the point of deity).  Someone (obvious TBM) commented that it must have taken me a long time to write that hymn parody, that it wasn't very clever, and that I should be doing something more productive with my time.  Another TBM commented, though, that although it is obvious that I have "mad writing skills" (which I took as a big compliment), I am misusing my talents for this purpose.  Oh, well... can't please everyone, now can you?

As numbers go, 23 apparently has some significance - and even an "enigma."  According to the linked Wikipedia article, there is some interesting information about the number 23:

23 Enigma - refers to the belief that most incidents and events are directly connected to the number 23, some modification of the number 23, or a number related to the number 23.

The 23 Phenomena - Robert Anton Wilson cites William S. Burroughs as being the first person to believe in the 23 enigma. Wilson, in an article in Fortean Times, related the following story:  "I first heard of the 23 enigma from William S Burroughs, author of Naked Lunch, Nova Express, etc. According to Burroughs, he had known a certain Captain Clark, around 1960 in Tangier, who once bragged that he had been sailing 23 years without an accident. That very day, Clark’s ship had an accident that killed him and everybody else aboard. Furthermore, while Burroughs was thinking about this crude example of the irony of the gods that evening, a bulletin on the radio announced the crash of an airliner in Florida, USA. The pilot was another Captain Clark and the flight was Flight 23."

23 Skidoo - popularized in the early 1920s and means "it's time to leave while the getting is good." It appeared in newspapers as early as 1906.

The Number 23 - Movie starring Jim Carrey (released in 2007), about a man who becomes obsessed with the number 23 while reading a book of the same title that seems to be about his life.

There is more interesting information about the number 23 on this Wikipedia page.  I really like Wikipedia - in my opinion, it is a great compilation of information with reliable references noted for everything on the website.  But someone else on the Facebook page that I mentioned above criticized me for relying on what Wikipedia says (and LOL'd me for it).  That comment was in response to some information I posted about Parley P. Pratt and his murder (and supposed martyrdom).  As I told this person, if she doesn't like Wikipedia, then use Google for some other source, or read a book, or do something other than just accept whatever the Mormon Party Line dictates.  After all, it is historical fact.

I'm not sure how many more of these hymn parodies I will write, but since all the ones I've written so far have come fairly quickly, I will probably write several more.  And maybe I'll look into recording all of these hymn parodies on a CD.  Who knows?  But it's obvious I'm not going to follow the philosophy of 23 Skidoo...

Apparently, the sky's the limit (for at least, the Ex-Mormon Hymn Book)...

ONWARD, ALL EX MORMONS - LDS Hymn Parody #21

Even though I left the church a little over 7 years ago, it took me several years after that to begin to become vocal about my disaffection from Mormonism.  In fact, I didn't even visit any ExMormon type of websites until late 2008 - and I left the church in 2004.  Looking back at that time frame, I now realize that I could have benefited from the insights of others who had left the church - and not felt so alone in my disaffection.  But I also realize that the reason I did not go on those types of websites back then was because I thought the people there were "angry apostate" types, and weren't necessarily telling the real truth about Mormon history, teachings or doctrine - and since I was conditioned in all my years as a Mormon to avoid those types of situations, I held onto that mindset even after leaving Mormonism.  You know, the whole "Anti-Mormon Propaganda" spiel.  After all, the programming runs deep - and the brainwashing is difficult to counteract.

The first time I ever went on ExMormon.org (and the Recovery from Mormonism discussion board) was in December 2008.  I had gone to my brother's house for Thanksgiving dinner, and after dinner he wanted to show me all the genealogy he had submitted to the Mormon Church's genealogy website, http://www.familysearch.org/.  Our mother had done a lot of genealogy before her death in 1977 (going back into the 1100's or so), and after her death my brother took it over and did quite a bit more, going back even further.  Of course, with the advent of the internet, he eventually submitted all that both he and my mother had done, and he was very proud of his accomplishments.  It was quite interesting to see how far back he had gotten some of our lines, and the fact that our ancestral lines include Dutch, English, French and Swedish blood.  Also, included in our ancestors are Princess Diana and some other royal blood, which I also found interesting.

In the process of showing me our genealogy on the Mormon Church's genealogy website,  http://www.familysearch.org/, he taught me how to find my way around it.  So a couple of weeks later, I decided to go back on the website and look at Joseph Smith's pedigree chart.  Of course, I had already done quite a bit of research about Joseph Smith and knew about his polygamous ways (as well as the fact that at the time of his death, he was married to 33 women).  In fact, issues related to Polygamy had always bothered me, and during my research, I had discovered some of the truth behind Polygamy, including the fact that Joseph Smith had married 10 teenage girls (including one as young as 14 named Helen Mar Kimball) and the fact that he lied about the practice of polygamy numerous times.  In fact, one of my favorite quotes of Joseph Smith is this one: 

"...What a thing it is for a man to be accused of committing adultery, and having seven wives, when I can only find one. I am the same man, and as innocent as I was fourteen years ago; and I can prove them all perjurers." (History of the Church, vol 6, p. 411) 

This statement was made by Joseph Smith as he was preaching from the stand in Nauvoo on Sunday, May 26, 1844.  This was a month before his death - and at that time, Joseph Smith had 33 plural wives.

Was it okay for him to lie about his practice of polygamy?  No, it wasn't.  In fact, on June 8, 1844, when the Nauvoo Expositor newspaper was printed and distributed, and the story ran publicly exposing the truth about Joseph Smith's practice of polygamy, was it okay for Joseph Smith to order the destruction of the printing press and the burning of the building in which it was housed?  No, definitely not.  Those acts are why he was arrested and why he was incarcerated in Carthage Jail, where he was killed by gunshot from a mob on June 27, 1844.  Of course, when I discovered this, I realized that Joseph Smith was not a martyr, but rather a criminal.  For him to be "praised" and held out as a martyr by the Mormon Church is extremely deceptive.

And after polygamy was outlawed and the Manifesto was issued in 1890, was it okay for other Mormon prophets and apostles to lie about their involvement in polygamy?  No, definitely not.  They agreed to stop polygamy in order for Utah to become a state, but history shows that they continued to practice it until at least 1910.  And when they were questioned about it, they simply lied. 

When I began to look around this genealogy website (created and operated by the Mormon Church), I saw all the women's names who had married Joseph Smith.  Several of the names had links - and when I drilled down below these names, I discovered that they were married to other men when they married Joseph Smith.  This was the beginnings of my discovery of Polyandry, and that aspect of the practice of Polygamy truly stunned me.  Truly, I was flabbergasted, not only due to my discovery of this, but again, because I had never in all my years as a Mormon, heard anything about Polyandry before.  This aspect of my research is discussed in great detail in the book I have written, which is found on this blog.

It was after that when I first went on http://www.exmormon.org/ - and I was guided there by a Google search which included a link to an article on Polyandry written by Bob McCue.  This article was a huge revelation for me, and although I had already left the church due to my many other issues, the information about Polyandry was an additional eye-opener in my disaffection from the Mormon Church.  To think that I was a member of the Mormon Church for 52 years and never knew about Joseph Smith marrying women who were already married to living husbands is mind-boggling to me.  But of course, the reason I didn't know is because the Mormon Church tries very hard to cover up this kind of information.  They say they don't hide it, that the history has always been open to whoever wants to know about it, but the reality is that the majority of members of the Mormon Church do not know about the details of most of what happened in the beginnings of Mormonism because they just don't talk about it.  And usually when they do hear about it, they write it off as "Anti-Mormon Propaganda."

After my first time visiting the website http://www.exmormon.org/, I went on their discussion board - Recovery from Mormonism.  Over the next year or so, I spent a good amount of time reading and commenting on various threads.  Eventually, I found http://www.postmormon.org/ and regularly visited their discussion board as well.  That is where I found out about the annual ExMormon Foundation Conference, and I went to one last year for the first time (October 2010).  It was great meeting a lot of the people with whom I had been exchanging messages on the discussion boards, and I consider many of these people to now be my very good friends. 

After that, I was invited to join a couple of Facebook discussion groups, and I have met some other amazing people on there - Former Mormons, PostMormons, ExMormons, others who are questioning Mormonism, and still others who know for certain that the church is not true but are still going to church because of family pressures (sometimes called Shadow Mormons).  I have become very close "cyber-friends" with many of these people, and am planning on meeting many of them at the next ExMormon Foundation Conference in October 2011. 

 It has been quite a journey over the past 3 years.  Through it all, I have seen myself evolve from what I would consider a Former Mormon woman who kept quiet about what I had discovered, not having reached a point where I felt comfortable expressing my views, to a full-blown ExMormon who is very vocal about what I consider to be a destructive religious organization that deals very fast and loose with the truth.

And so, here is my latest hymn parody... a tribute to ExMormons everywhere...

ONWARD, ALL EXMORMONS

Sung to the tune of Onward, Christian Soldiers, #246

Onward, all ExMormons,
We’re no longer sheep.
Done with just believing,
And the lies so deep.
Blind belief no longer,
Finally got a clue,
And with all our knowledge,
We know it’s not true.

(Chorus)

Onward, all ExMormons,
We’re no longer sheep.
Done with just believing,
And the lies so deep.

With the many issues
Struggling as we did,
It was quite disturbing
To find what they hid.
History very sordid,
Teachings so bizarre,
Done with the denial,
We have come so far.

(Chorus)

Onward, all ExMormons,
We’re no longer sheep.
Done with just believing,
And the lies so deep.

Joseph Smith, a liar,
Con man all the way,
Charlatan and shyster,
Deception, his forte.
He was not a martyr,
As the Mormons say.
Just a phony Prophet
Feeding on his prey.

(Chorus)

Onward, all ExMormons,
We’re no longer sheep.
Done with just believing,
And the lies so deep.

There are many others
Still within the cult,
Trapped by their denial,
And as a result,
We must try to help them
Sort through all the lies,
Maybe through our efforts
Fraud they’ll recognize.

(Chorus)

Onward, all ExMormons,
We’re no longer sheep.
Done with just believing,
And the lies so deep.

© Diane Tingen, 6/23/2011

OH, WHY DID I BELIEVE IT? LDS Hymn Parody #19

Questions.  So many questions.

Looking for the answers...

And when I finally found those answers, it was like a light bulb going off in my head.

The ultimate AHA moment.

Of course, once I realized that the answers I was looking for were that the Mormon Church is a scam and a fraud, I began to ask myself why I had believed it for so long.  I'm sure part of the answer to that question is the fact that I was essentially born and raised Mormon.  My parents were baptized when I was a baby, so I was programmed from a very early age.   And when it comes right down to it, I'm sure there's a huge amount of brainwashing involved.  Otherwise, why would people adhere to such bizarre beliefs?  Such as believing that Joseph Smith is a Prophet of God, and that he translated the Book of Mormon and the Book of Abraham when there is so much evidence indicating that both are elaborate frauds, harvested either from the very vivid imagination of Joseph Smith and/or plagiarized (and very possibly a combination of both).  None of it makes any sense.  Applying common sense to the equation puts it into the realm of fantasy.  And yet, people believe it.  Including me, for a very long time.  Until I researched and studied independently, on my own, away from the "authorized areas."  That's when I discovered the actual truth, and began to feel very betrayed.  To put it plainly, I had been duped.

So that is the premise of my latest hymn parody.

OH, WHY DID I BELIEVE IT?

Sung to the tune of O God, the Eternal Father, #175

Oh, why did I believe it?
It really makes no sense.
And when I stopped to question,
That’s when I took offense
For all the years I suffered
In silence, fear and dread.
The Mormonism drivel
Was not just in my head.

The fact that I discovered
That lies are laced throughout
Its teachings, so deceptive,
Of that, I have no doubt.
If only I had researched
And read more on my own,
I would have found out sooner,
And not felt so alone.

Oh, why did I believe it?
Completely full of lies.
And with the lies uncovered,
There was no compromise.
This obvious deception
Cannot be merely veiled,
My eyes are finally open,
The camouflage has failed.

Oh, why did I believe it
When it is clearly skewed?
The contradictions blatant,
What else could I conclude?
I’ve gone from disenchanted
To some place far beyond,
Much more than disillusioned,
The truth for me has dawned.

But when I finally saw it,
I really felt betrayed,
The fact that I’d been living
Amid this big charade.
The light bulb shining brightly,
I finally knew the truth.
But I was very bitter
That it absorbed my youth.

The bitterness is gone now,
I’m going on with life.
The future’s looking brighter
Without the pain and strife
That Mormonism garnered
Within my heart and soul,
And though I greatly struggled,

I’m finally feeling whole.

© Diane Tingen, 6/21/2011

Oh, now I get it...

WHAT THE HELL? LDS Hymn Parody #17

Wow, how many times have I asked myself WHAT THE HELL???... and wanted to scream it out loud???  I have faced that dilemma innumerable times during my life (for varying reasons).  But of course, since I was the "good girl" for most of my life, I just kept my differing opinions to myself.  Never wanting to rock the boat.  Always trying to keep the peace.

But once I discovered the lies, deceptions and contradictions laced throughout Mormonism, and processed through the fact that I had believed in and followed this skewed religion my entire life, I became incresingly outraged and began to express my shock and disgust. 

Of course, this blog is an outgrowth of the emergence of the "new me."  A woman who no longer just goes along... a woman who knows what she thinks and isn't afraid (any longer) of expressing her thoughts, no matter what others may think or say... a woman who spent 52 years in the Mormon Church, toeing the line and adhering to its ridiculous teachings and doctrine, all of which are not "of God," but rather made up by Joseph Smith, the founder of the Mormon Church, and its first Prophet and Seer, and perpetuated by countless other men through the years.

So my hymn parody addressing these concepts is quite appropriately a revision of "Choose the Right."  There are many great thoughts in the original hymn, but sadly, those thoughts are not in line with the realities of Mormonism - a religion that purports to highly value honesty and integrity (and choosing the right), but plays very fast and loose with the truth in many ways. 

WHAT THE HELL?

Sung to the tune of Choose the Right, #239

What the hell?  Do they really think I'm stupid?

I can think, and I'm not that naïve.

Not a sheep, and I simply will not follow

The Mormon Party Line and "just believe."

(Chorus)

What the hell?  What the hell?

Let knowledge guide your way before.

Loudly yell, what the hell,

And common sense do not ignore.

What the hell?  Let nobody drag you under,

Stand up tall, and tell them it’s not true.

Filled with lies, it’s apparent if you research,

Go on the Internet, and get a clue.

(Chorus)

What the hell?  What the hell?

Let knowledge guide your way before.

Loudly yell, what the hell,

And common sense do not ignore.

What the hell?  There is evidence a-plenty,

Google it, the answers will be clear.

Obvious, the teachings are deceptive,

Do not stay with it because of fear.

(Chorus)

What the hell?  What the hell?

Let knowledge guide your way before.

Loudly yell, what the hell,

And common sense do not ignore.

© Diane Tingen, 6/17/2011

Seriously.  What the Hell???

WELCOME, WELCOME, BRAND NEW MEMBERS - LDS Hymn Parody #13

Another hymn parody.  This one is in tribute to the Mormon Mindset...
drinking the Kool-Aid...
being a good little Morgbot...
toeing the Mormon Party Line...   

The original hymn is one I remember singing in Sunday School a lot in my growing-up years.  Of course, I also learned how to play this hymn on the piano early on, and then on the organ when I became Ward Organist.  This hymn has an upbeat tempo and a catchy tune, which I have always liked.  The message, though, is something else...

In thinking about this hymn, I am reminded of the seemingly endless Sundays that I spent in church as a young girl, a teenager, a young woman, and then an adult.  Indoctrination, pure and simple.  But as much as I tried to "follow the program," it was difficult for me because I always questioned things, and even though I was given supposed answers, those "answers" were in reality simply the Mormon Party Line.  That's it... drink the Kool-Aid... and everything will be just fine...

If I had been true to myself, I would have left the church a lot sooner than I actually did - but until my final crisis of faith (which began when I was studying in preparation for going on a Mormon Church History Tour in the Summer of 2001), I was much too concerned with what I thought people would think of me.  Indeed, I was programmed very well, and was very much the good little Morgbot.  I was definitely drinking the Kool-Aid back then.  Oh, I had questioned things now and then, but I had also successfully placed all my issues on a shelf that I tried very hard not to disturb.  But in the Summer of 2001, that shelf simply became too stacked with issues to withstand the weight of it all.  That was the beginning of the end for me.

And so, my revision of this beloved Mormon hymn...

WELCOME, WELCOME, BRAND NEW MEMBERS
Sung to the tune of Welcome, Welcome, Sabbath Morning, #280

Welcome, welcome, brand new members,
Glad you bought the party line.
Hurry, hurry, drink the Kool-Aid,
Everything will be just fine.

Soon the Bishop will confront you,
Ask you questions, privately,
Pry and prod about your habits,
Nosing in continually.

(Chorus)

Welcome, welcome, brand new members,
Glad you bought the party line.
Hurry, hurry, drink the Kool-Aid,
Everything will be just fine.

Mormonism, unrelenting,
You will not be left alone.
Mormons will be at your doorstep,
Or they will be on the phone.

Pay your tithing, don’t drink coffee,
And of course, no alcohol.
Mind your P’s and Q’s completely,
Or the Bishop soon will call.

(Chorus)

Welcome, welcome, brand new members,
Glad you bought the party line.
Hurry, hurry, drink the Kool-Aid,
Everything will be just fine.

Pay attention to the Prophet,
Just accept his every word.
There are many things confusing,
And some things will seem absurd.

But if you just follow closely
Everything you’re told to do.
You won’t have the time to question
And you just won’t have a clue.

(Chorus)

Welcome, welcome, brand new members,
Glad you bought the party line.
Hurry, hurry, drink the Kool-Aid,
Everything will be just fine.

Do not research independent,
Only read what is approved.
Anti-Mormon propaganda
Is conjecture, can’t be proved.

And of course, you must not linger
Too much on the Internet.
There are many evils lurking
So beware and don't forget.

(Chorus)

Welcome, welcome, brand new members,
Glad you bought the party line.
Hurry, hurry, drink the Kool-Aid,
Everything will be just fine.

The true church, the one and only,
As restored by Joseph Smith.
And although it’s hard to swallow,
Don’t believe, it’s just a myth.
It is simple, just don't question,
Just accept what you are told,
Though it's really mumbo jumbo,
Buy the bill of goods we've sold.

(Chorus)
Welcome, welcome, brand new members,
Glad you bought the party line.
Hurry, hurry, drink the Kool-Aid,
Everything will be just fine.

© Diane Tingen, 6/13/2011