WHY THE DECEPTION? LDS Hymn Parody #47

Short and to the point.  Just like the original LDS hymn/children's song - at least in its length, but obviously not in its point.

WHY THE DECEPTION?
Sung to the tune of Keep the Commandments, #303

Why the deception?  Why the deception?
The lies are apparent, of this I am sure.
Look at the history, look at the history,
Ugly and sordid, Why the deception?
The lies are apparent for sure.

© Diane Tingen, 11/29/2011

WHAT REALLY GRINDS MY GEARS

1.  MORMONISM.  Obviously.
I mean, just read this blog...

2.  LIES.  Being lied to really irritates me.  And what's worse than being lied to is finding out you've been lied to and deceived.  That really grinds my gears!!  Of course, this "pet peeve" is directly correlated to #1 above.

3.  IGNORANCE.  The definition of the word "Ignorance" is lack of knowledge, information or education.  The context in which I am using it is to mean people who lack knowledge or information and yet parrot a position just because they have been told that they should feel a certain way.  People have brains for a reason.  So I really wish they would think for themselves and make up their own minds - and then have the guts to speak up.  And when a position that a person has taken has been shown to be ridiculous, they should have the good sense to admit that they were wrong.  Of course, admitting that a person doesn't know something from the get-go is a good position to take and shows some character.  But unfortunately, ignorant people tend to stick to their guns, no matter what.  Not a good position to take.  And of course, IGNORANCE seems to plague many members of the Mormon Church.  (Another direct correlation to #1 above.)

4.  NARROW-MINDEDNESS.  People who dismiss everything that they don't understand or have been told is WRONG usually do so because they are NARROW-MINDED.  Of course, this characteristic usually goes along with IGNORANCE.  People really should make up their own minds - and they shouldn't adopt an attitude simply because their religion tells them to believe a certain way.  Dismissing entire groups of people because they don't dress "appropriately," are a different race, are gay or lesbian, or whatever, is very petty.  Unfortunately, I think religion does this to a lot of people when it should be teaching people to be tolerant of each other and understanding of other people's differences.  And again, NARROW-MINDEDNESS seems to run rampant with a lot of people who are embroiled in Mormonism.  Yet another direct correlation to #1 above.

5.  JUDGMENTAL PEOPLE.  Unfortunately, there are a lot of JUDGMENTAL people in the world.  And a lot of them are Christian (and Mormon), which is surprising since in the Biblical scriptures they rely on it specifically says to Judge Not, that ye be not judged (Matthew 7:1-5).   That scripture (and directive) seems rather straightforward, so I don't understand why it seems to be lost on a lot of people.  But sadly, so many Christians and Mormons seem to go around passing judgment on everyone and everything.  Yes, another correlation to #1 above.

AND BELIEVE IT OR NOT, THERE ARE THINGS BESIDES MORMONISM (and related topics) THAT REALLY GRIND MY GEARS... such as...

6.  NEGATIVITY.  People who are always pessimistic are a real downer, and I have a real hard time being around people like that.  Doomsayers.  Nitpickers.  Energy Vampires, sucking the life out of everything.  Always complaining.  Always putting other people down.  Always sure that something horrible is going to happen.  Seemingly never able to just enjoy life and go with the flow.  I was married to a man like that... and that's one of the reasons why he's now my ex-husband...

7.  RUDENESS and INCONSIDERATION.  Some people only think about themselves and seem to have little regard for others in the world - and they also seem to have no concept of the effect of things they do or say on other people.  Of course, those types of attitudes also apply to public transportation.  Lately, since I began taking the train to work, these types of attitudes have really hit me when people take up an entire seat, and when asked to move their stuff (and body) so someone else can sit down, they get all huffy (which has happened to me more than once or twice).  I asked a woman to move over this morning, and you would have thought I was asking her for a kidney!!  She reluctantly moved but left her rather lage purse in the middle of the seat, so that when I sat down, I was hanging off the seat.  So I asked her to move her purse, and again, she got all huffy, said "Well, excuse me" rather loudly, and then got up and moved.  Is it too much to ask that people take one seat on a bus or train?  And not to pile the other half of the seat high with their paraphernalia?  I mean, unless they've bought two seats, they shouldn't be taking up two seats, particularly when there are people standing.  And when I said something to that effect, a lady across the aisle from me butted me and said, "Well, there are still a lot of empty seats."  OK, there were empty seats - but most of them were the backwards seat, and I can't sit in those because of my vertigo problems.  So that left the forward seats, all of which were occupied by at least one person.  But why should I have to explain that?  And why did this women have to butt in a situation that didn't involve her in the first place?  Some people need to learn the concept of minding their own business - not speaking unless (and until) they are spoken to.

8.  LACK OF SAYING "THANK YOU."  It really irritates me when I hold a door open for someone, and they just breeze right through without saying thank you.  Or when I let another car in a long line of cars and the gesture is not recognized (with a nod of a head or the wave of a hand... or something).  Or I hold the elevator door for someone who is coming, and they get on the elevator without saying a word.  It's as if the person feels entitled to nice gestures from the people around them, but they don't have to acknowledge it.  Of course, on the other hand, perhaps I shouldn't feel like I need a "thank you" and should just do random acts of kindmess without expecting anything in return.  Guess I'm not that big of a person.  Perhaps something I should work on...

9.  CELL PHONES ON PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION.   I mean, really... do they think we want to hear their entire conversation?  their lengthy gabber??  their loud laughter???  Particularly when the conversation is obviously very private.  I would never have the gall to carry on a very long, very loud conversation (or a private one) on a bus or a train, but some people don't seem to think anything of it.  How unbelievably rude.

10.  PEOPLE WHO TAKE UP TWO PARKING SPACES.  Or park very crooked... I mean, were they on drugs when they parked their car?  Or when people park their cars so far over the line that when you arrive to get your car, you can't get in the driver's side and have to crawl through the passengers side.  Wow, that's irritating!!

11.  TAILGATING.  Drivers who tailgate cars at excessive speeds, which is a problem everywhere but was a huge problem when I was living in Georgia.  Seriously, Atlanta has the worse traffic of anywhere I have lived (and I lived in Los Angeles for 30 years).  The drivers in Georgia are absolutely maniacs, and they tailgate like nobody's business.  Traffic is better out here in Colorado... not perfect, but much better.

12.  BEING A PEDESTRIAN.  Not that I don't like to walk - I do.  But I hate it when I'm out walking, and approaching me is a group of 3 or 4 people walking in my direction, taking up the entire sidewalk and not moving over when they see me coming.  Or people walking on the wrong side of the sidewalk, making me have to bob and weave my way through them.  Rules of the road apply to sidewalks as well.  People are supposed to walk on the right side of a sidewalk, just like a car.  And they aren't supposed to take up the entire sidewalk (just as they wouldn't take up the entire freeway).  Somebody needs to clue in a lot of people.  Of course, being a pedestrian who wants to cross an interesection can be a tricky proposition as well.  In Atlanta, there were many situations where I practically got run-down while crossing a street.  And there were several times when people actually honked their horns at me and then began yelling for me to "hurry up."  Very frustrating, especially since it wasn't like I was crossing at a snail's speed.  Being a pedestrian in Atlanta is basically taking your life in your hands.  Being a pedestrian in in Denver is better - not perfect, but much better.  But overall, the world is in too much of a hurry these days (especially in the South - and Southern Hospitality is all but dead at this point).

13.  BICYCLES IN DOWNTOWN DENVER.  I think it's great that so many people ride bicycles in downtown Denver.  They're healthy and in shape, which is great.  BUT... most of them think they can ride their bicycles however and wherever they want.  They think no rules apply to them whatsoever.  They ride their bikes through interesections with pedestrians... with cars... against red lights... against traffic... with cars coming... with trains coming... very dangerous (and annoying).  I really wish they would decide in what category they want to be and stick with it - and not think that all categories apply to them across the board.

14.  APOSTROPHE ABUSE.  I'm not the Puncutation Police or the Grammar Nazi (or the Spelling Czar), but really, some people need to get a clue.  Look at this website and then tell me I'm wrong.  Here's a preview...

Of course, this example is rife with grammar and punctuation problems - and it should read, "Pumps are not taking Debit Cards.  Please fill up gas and pay inside with your Debit Card or use as Credit at pump.  Thank you.  Sorry for inconvenience."

The other common error in punctuation and/or grammar that really grinds my gears is the misuse of IT'S and ITS.  As explained on the Better at English website at this link, it's (with an apostrophe) means it is or it has (as in "It's very hot outside" or "It's been raining for hours now").  On the other hand, Its (without an apostrophe) is the possessive form of the pronoun it, which is used when talking about something belonging to an IT (as in "Colorado is known for its great skiing").  I guess being a legal secretary for over 35 years has made me very conscious of proper grammar and punctuation.  The upside is that it has made me a good proofreader.  The downside is that seeing misusages like this really grind my gears.

15.  TV COMMERCIALS.  I like watching TV, but when commercials come on, most of them really irritate me.  First of all, they are usually way too loud and practically blast me out of my seat.  And a lot of them are completely inane.  I mean, REALLY... some of the advertisers must think that they are playing to a group of 5 year olds, not grown adults who have the power to make or break them based on whether they are able to sell their product to them.  Of course, there are some good TV commercials, especially around Super Bowl time.  But regardless of how good or bad the commercials are, they tend to overplay them to the point where I want to scream.  And that really grinds my gears!!

16.  TV SHOWS.  There are a lot of ridiculous TV shows as well.  Particularly in the situation comedy category.  Right now, they are in the process of advertising the new Fall TV Schedule, and it amazes me just how many ridiculous shows are coming on next month.  The quality of TV shows just never seems to improve from year to year.  Of course, here are some good shows on TV (even in the situation comedy category), but they are far and few between.  Sometimes I think it's better to just watch reruns - like Seinfeld, Friends, Everybody Loves Raymond, Sex and the City, MASH, and so on.  Perhaps there should be a moratorium on new TV shows, and they should be required to just play reruns of good old TV shows... on which the public votes... 

17.  MOVIE SEQUELS - AND REMAKES.  Truly, I think there should be a law that before a sequel to a movie can be made, the public should vote on it - and that law should apply to remakes as well.  I mean, did Rocky really need so many sequels?  Or Rambo?  Or Dumb and Dumber... I mean, really? - Dumb and Dumberer?  And did Conan the Barbarian really need a remake?  I mean, they already made a sequel, Conan the Destroyer, and now they thought it was a good idea to remake the movie entirely?  Plus did there really need to be so many Planet of the Apes movies?  Did Ocean's Eleven really need a remake and a sequel?  And I just heard that they're going to do a remake of Dirty Dancing.  Of course, they already did a sequel of Dirty Dancing called Havana Nights, which bombed - so what would possess them to do a remake of the original iconic movie?  I guess Hollywood is running out of ideas, so they keep recycling old movie plots.  Talk about beating a dead horse.  Of course, this rule should also apply to "prequels" (and yes, I'm talking about Star Wars... the first 3 movies were great, but then they do 3 more as "prequels"???  Not a good move).  Seriously, there ought to be a law...

18.  VAMPIRE MOVIES AND TV SHOWS.  Enough already.  Seriously.  Please stop it.

Of course, I could go on, but instead, I'll refer you to what is termed as the Web's Largest List of Pet Peeves.  Very long list, and some good (and very funny) stuff.

Based on the foregoing, I guess it would probably be a good idea for me to just lock myself in a room somewhere and not go outside.  Then I wouldn't have to deal with all the idiots in the world.  But then, I wouldn't be able to rant either... at least, about all this stuff... 

By now, you may have figured out that the above picture (What Really Grinds my Gears) is from Family Guy.  Or perhaps not, if you've never watched this extremely funny (and rather irreverent) cartoon series.  During one segment, Peter Griffin began doing a news feature about What Really Grinds My Gears, and naturally, he dissolved into rants about ridiculous subjects.  Absurd, but funny...

But then, Peter Griffin is Peter Griffin, and ranting about absurdities and ridiculous subjects is just what Peter does (and it's very funny in this context).  But Peter Griffin is a cartoon character, and Family Guy is a TV show/cartoon series - not reality.  One would think that modern society could rise above this type of behavior... unfortunately, though, that's not always the case...


http://www.fox.com/familyguy/



DEAR ANONYMOUS

You posted 3 comments on my blog today, and although I would like to respond directly to you, you've made that impossible since you posted them anonymously.  According to my Feedjit App, you live in Mesa, Arizona, but that doesn't give me enough information to locate you.  So I will post this open letter with the hopes that you will come back to my blog to "check in" and will find it.  And by the way, it seems to me that those who post anonymously are too cowardly to post using either their real name or at least a way for someone to contact them.  If a person is secure in their opinions, shouldn't they be willing and able to handle whatever response they may get?  I'm not hiding behind a pseudonym here, and I'm certainly not posting anonymously.  I'm very firm in my opinions about the lies and deception that are laced throughout Mormonism, and I'm ready to discuss them at any time.

The first comment you posted was this:  "Mormonism is true. I am a Mormon. No, I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I know who I am and I won't forget it, not now, not ever. You may have forgotten who you are and what your divine destiny is, but trying to convince others that it's not true isn't right. How can you do this to others? How can you make these awful claims of the truthfulness of the gospel? How can you leave it when the Spirit can be felt so strongly at times? How can you do this to yourself?"  By Anonymous on Mormonism Seuss-ified at 1:21 PM

You say that although you know who you are and won't forget it, not now, not ever, that I may have forgotten who I am and what my divine destiny is.  You go on to say that trying to convice others that it's not true isn't right, and ask how I can do this to others, even going on to ask how I can make these awful claims of the truthfulness of the gospel... how can I do this to myself?  To answer your questions, how can I NOT do this?  When I discovered the lies and deception laced throughout Mormonism, I was flabbergasted.  I was born and raised in the Mormon Church, and I never expected to discover that the religion on which I had based my life was actually a fraudulent scam.  But that's exactly what it is, and if you would do some independent research instead of relying on what the Mormon Church tells you to believe, you might discover the truth as well.  If you want to read the entire background on my journey away from Mormonism, you can read my book which is posted on this blog.

The second comment you posted was this:  "You must not know what Mormon heaven is if you'd rather choose the other way.  And you must not understand what the other way holds."  By Anonymous on Heaven... or Hell??? at 1:24 PM

Yes, I know what "Mormon Heaven" is claimed to be.  The Celestial Kingdom.  A fantasy place made up by Joseph Smith, along with two "lower" kingdoms called the Terrestrial Kingdom and the Telestial Kingdom.  He made up a lot of stuff, and simply because there were people who bought it all doesn't mean it's true.  As the saying goes:

And as far as what "the other way" holds (i.e. Hell), I'll take my chances.  After all, no living person really knows what the Afterlife holds.  They can profess a religious belief, but no one knows what is true until it's too late to tell others.

Your third comment is the most interesting by far... and definitely the most rambling:  "Why would Joseph Smith create such a lie and still continue on with it? If it wasn't true, why did he allow himself to be tarred and feathered? If it was a made-up story, why would he choose to preach it and show such strength even though he was killed in the end? If it was a lie, why would he allow his friends and family and HIMSELF to be tortured, beaten, spit upon, and torn up in such an awful way? Why didn't he, if it wasn't true, just drop the whole idea in the end? Make people like him like the rest of the world would have done? And if it's a lie, why did so many people join? Why not just his closest friends and families? Why millions? Why? Because: it IS true. Quite often when people have something great to share, it isn't believed. The world says it is so amazing that it can't be true and the people all believe the world. Except for the ones who really try, who really pray; why would the early members, including Joseph Smith, have kept going had it been a lie? It makes no  sense; if you have the chance to win twenty million dollars but people say it's not real, it's fake, but it really is, are you going to give up, knowing that you could have gotten that twenty million dollars, or that celestial salvation, in the end? Would you give up your chance on twenty million just because people discourage you? Or would you work at it and keep going until you HAVE twenty million? Think on that. Because it is true. And the reason people keep going through all the trials and tribulations brought upon them by the world is because they have found something great. It's because they've found something amazing, astounding, something worth sharing. Once you got your twenty million, wouldn't you share the chance with your family members, friends? Wouldn't you want them to be just as happy as you are? But the reward of celestial salvation is MUCH more than twenty million; it's more than anyone could even comprehend on their own. The things that He has in store for us are amazing, are truly astounding, are way greater than any trials or tribulations could ever overcome. Why shouldn't we share it with people? Why shouldn't we want our family members and friends, everyone, be as happy as we are? That's why we continue on. That's why we don't stop. That's why we don't and why we will never give up. That's the reason we are so happy. Because it is true and we know it. We know who we are. We know who we can become. We know what's in store and what we can gain. We know it. We know who we are. I know who I am. And I hope you do too; because if you decide to continue like this, you won't get your twenty million. Why would anyone give up that chance?"  By Anonymous on Called to Dupe Them - LDS Hymn Parody at 1:35 PM

When someone goes on and on to the point of rambling, it is usually a sign that a nerve has been hit.  Perhaps that is the case with your three comments, particularly since they were posted this afternoon in the course of 14 minutes.  To comment on your first list of questions from this third comment, I'll break it down.

1.  Why would Joseph Smith create such a lie and still continue on with it?  Plain and simple, it is my opinion that Joseph Smith created Mormonism to gain power over people and to get their money.  He became a rich and powerful man because of Mormonism.  And as far as I am concerned, that was his motivation.  Plus he pretty much got to say whatever he wanted, and people hung on his every word.  Plus he creating polygamy, marrying 10 teenage girls (one as young as 14), and 11 women who were already married to living husbands.  Yes, I do believe the his sexual appetite and desire to bed numerous women was the motivation behind his invention of polygamy and polyandry.  The evidence is there.  Just look at it.

2.   If it wasn't true, why did he allow himself to be tarred and feathered?  This question is actually pretty funny.  If a group of people were going to tar and feather someone, the act doesn't occur because the victim has "allowed" it to happen.  They are captured - and then tarred and feathered.  What you need to ask yourself is WHY was Joseph Smith tarred and feathered.   Research that question and the name Nancy Miranda Johnson will come up.  Here's a link that gives some interesting information about this incident.  And before you pass this information off as "anti-Mormon propaganda," please remember that these are historical facts. 

3.  If it was a made-up story, why would he choose to preach it and show such strength even though he was killed in the end?  Well, I've already stated my opinion on why Joseph Smith chose to preach Mormonism.  As far as showing strength and being killed in the end, he was not killed because of "religious persecution" as touted by the Mormon Church (and as I was told growing up).  He was arrested and placed in Carthage Jail because he ordered the destruction of the Nauvoo Expositor printing press (and the burning of the building in which it was housed) after a story was published exposing the truth behind Joseph Smith's practice of polygamy and polyandry.  And the mob that attacked him while he was in Carthage Jail did so because of Joseph Smith's practice of polygamy/polyandry and what was exposed in the article published in the Nauvoo Expositor (and by the way, did you know that he had a gun with him during the shoot-out and shot it?  That was news to me, too).  The fact that he was in jail for this act did not make him a religious martyr upon his death but rather a criminal.  It really irritates me that I was taught otherwise, and sang hymns like "Praise to the Man."  It wasn't until I did my own independent research that I began to discover the truth behind it all.  I just wish I had done my research much earlier in my life so I wouldn't have spent 52 years in a religion that plays so fast and loose with the truth - and was obviously a hoax from the get-go.

4.  If it was a lie, why would he allow his friends and family and HIMSELF to be tortured, beaten, spit upon, and torn up in such an awful way?  Why didn't he, if it wasn't true, just drop the whole idea in the end?  Those are good questions and ones that in most likelihood have several answers.  Yes, the Mormons were persecuted for their beliefs.  But Joseph Smith was the one who had the most to lose if he were to turn away from it.  In my opinion, he craved the power that he gained by being the founder of Mormonism.  From what I have read, he was very charasmatic and was able to get people to follow him.  But in the process of establishing Mormonism, he told a lot of lies and kept digging his hole deeper and deeper.  How could he suddenly say it wasn't true?  How could he turn away from it when he had created such a money machine?  No, instead of turning away from it, he just kept moving and moving and moving... from New York... to Ohio... to Missouri... to Illinois.... hoping that people would leave him and his followers alone.  But in the end, he couldn't just leave well enough alone and began a campaign to run for President of the United States.  Such arrogance.  And that was probably the final nail in his coffin.  Of course, after his death, Brigham Young took over and moved the Mormons to Utah where he built an incredible empire and made himself a very rich man.   And so the lies were perpetuated... and more men became rich and powerful on the coat tails of the "Saints."

5.  And if it's a lie, why did so many people join? Why not just his closest friends and families? Why millions?  Why did so many people join?  Well, the answer is obvious.  They were told lies that they bought - and the Mormon community was so closed off from the rest of civilization that they became trapped in the lifestyle.  Back in the beginnings of the church, they didn't have the internet (or Google) to lead them to the truth.  Lies weren't so easily discovered until the advent of the internet, but now they are easily uncovered.  You really should do some research.  Just Google it.  Like this paraphase of a scripture used by the Mormon Church says, "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of Google, and the truth will be made known unto you."  Of course, the lies and deception continue today, and people who join the Mormon Church today are not told the truth behind Mormonism.  It isn't until they begin to do their own research that they discover that the religion they have joined is a fraud.  Very sad state of affairs.

As far as the statistics broadcasted by the Mormon Church today, it claims 14 Million members.  Worldwide.  And what is the total world population today?  7 Billion.  At 14 Million, that is .2% of the world's population.  That's not even 1%.  Not even 1/2 of 1%.  After all, 1 Billion is 1,000 million.  But the fact is that number is highly inflated since it includes inactive members, excommunicated members, and deceased members (no, they don't take those names out of their numbers - look it up). So let's talk active members. Perhaps 4 Million.  And at the real number of 4 million members, that is .06% of 7 Billion.  Barely over 1/2 of 1% of the entire world's population.  So what does the Mormon Church really have to brag about in saying it has 14 Million members?  Not very much when you compare that number to the world's population.  Yes, I know - that's why the Mormon Church has baptism for the dead.  For those who never had the opportunity to hear the gospel.  Just another one of Joseph Smith's inventions.

You use the analogy of the 20 Million dollars.  Well, my blog contains another analogy.  This is a quote by Christopher Miller.

Some of you are probably thinking, "Why don't you just leave them (the Mormons) alone?" So I ask you, if you saw a thirsty man drinking water from a well you knew to be poisoned, would you let him continue to drink or would you guide him to a safe well?

In my ExMormon state, I prefer to try to guide people away from this bogus religion rather than just sit by quietly and watch them continue to be poisoned.  Seems like the humane thing to do.

And in closing, Dear Anonymous, you can keep the 20 Million dollars.  Particularly if Joseph Smith has anything to do with handing it out.  Because in actuality, it will probably be illegal tender left over from his Kirtland Safety Society Anti-Banking Company scheme.

IT AMAZES ME WHEN I LOOK BACK...

PEACE OUT

It amazes me when I look back
That I didn’t have a heart attack
From always trying to just conform
To the randomness of Mormondom.
Finally seeing that it makes no sense
Made me face the fact it’s just pretense.
Deceptive doctrines, a stack of lies,
Sordid history they can't disguise.

Mormonism is a dead-end street
Lined with numerous lies and deceit.

You can’t do this, and you can’t do that,
Compliance is clearly where’s it at.
Obedience, no deviation,
Follow every instruction given.
That mindset would have been my demise,
Since no middle ground or compromise
Is acceptable within the lines
Of Mormonism as it entwines
Its web of lies into families,
Blurring its limits and boundaries.

And now, I’m happy just being me,
Not what they expected me to be.
An ExMormon to my very core,
No longer the sheep I was before.

Not content to be lead around,
Astonished by all the lies I found
Laced in Mormonism, through and through,
Very glad I finally got a clue.
Life is too short to be miserable,
And being free is phenomenal.

But I know what the Mormons will say,
That I've thrown eternal life away,
Separated from my family
Is how I'll spend all eternity.
Condescending, as they chastise me,
Saying that happy I cannot be.
Wickedness never was happiness,
And my sins I will have to confess,
My true happiness is a concept
That they simply refuse to accept.

So "Peace Out" has new meaning for me,
And I can say undeniably

That being free to be who I am
And not just following the program
Is a priceless gift, its own reward,
So many options to be explored.
No longer plagued by suffocation,
Or feeling like there's a huge burden
Looming over me, about to fall,
As I bang my head against a wall.

Yes, I’ve taken the apostate route,
And though the Mormons may scream and shout
About the straight and narrow way to God,
I know that Mormonism is a fraud
Invented to exercise control,
A fake religion without a soul.
The truth is out there to be found,
So glad I got out before I drowned.
I am, beyond a shadow of a doubt,
Truly happy now, and so... PEACE OUT!!!

© Diane Tingen, 7/28/2011

HOW SKEWED IS THE DOCTRINE - LDS Hymn Parody #33

Sometimes I feel like I've become like a broken record, and that people who read this blog just think, "yeah, yeah... lies, deception, contradictions, blah, blah, blah..."  Of course, I'm sure that is pretty close to what TBMs who come here think (because some have actually told me so).  In fact, one TBM who came on here told me, "...your claim to intelligent reasoning seems a tad flat. It seems that your reasoning and investigations have developed a partisan approach that many disenchanted Mormons frequently and unintentionally employ. Your flippant discourse is telling."  Like I responded to this person, I am not trying to be "flippant."  I just think people should use their brains and not rely on what others have told them to believe.  And as far as the label of "disenchanted Mormon" goes, I am an ExMormon, having worked my way through the arena of "disenchantment" many years ago, arriving at the point where I saw Mormonism for what it is and opted against being further associated with a supposed religious organization that plays so fast and loose with the truth.

The fact is that Mormon doctrine is filled with lies, and so is its depiction of its history.  Because of that, I think it is important for everyone to examine the history and doctrine more closely, and not to simply accept what it is they are told to believe.  You know, the Mormon Party Line.  Deciding things for yourself is very important as is critical thinking.  When a person accepts what is told to them rather than doing any research or investigation on their own, they are giving up their own power.  If they decide to accept something despite the problems, at least they know the problems and are making a conscoius decision.  After all, some people are able to work their way through the problems and issus to arrive at conclusions that are suitable for themselves despite all the gray areas.  Others (like me) are more into black-and-white thinking and require factual justification for what they believe.  On a couple of the discussion boards that I visit from time to time, I've been told that simply because there are lies laced through Mormonism, including its history, it doesn't mean that it isn't a legitimate religion because all religions are composed of lies.  I don't understand that logic, and I don't see how that makes the lies okay, but at least these people are thinking and not simply relying on what others have told them.

Of course, in my opinion, the most blatant example of relying simply on what a person is told is LDS missionaries.  True, some of them know the actual truth and preach the gospel in spite of it, either due to family/social pressures or the "gray area" thinking I spoke about above.  But there are many, many missionaries out there who do not know the actual history of the Mormon Church or its actual doctrines.  For instance, most do not know the actual truth behind polygamy, the fact that Joseph Smith had 33 wives, or the fact that polyandry was practiced by Joseph Smith, Brigham Young, Parley P. Pratt, and others (in that they married women who were already married to living husbands).  When faced with this fact, they say it didn't happen, and that polygamy started with Brigham Young on the Trek West to help widows and orphans (which is what I was told growing up and believed for way too long).  This false scenario came clearly into view one day when I went on http://www.mormon.org/ and visited the link to chat with missionaries.  During that visit, I chatted with a missionary named Elliott and asked him what could be the justification for polyandry being practiced - and he denied that it had ever been practiced.  When I told him that it is verified on the Mormon Church's own genealogy website, http://www.familysearch.org/, he asked me for a link.  And when I gave it to him, he disappeared for over 5 minutes and then came back and said he was going to have to get back to me about that. 

Elliott was obviously blind-sided - and I can understand that feeling because I bought the official Mormon version of polygamy for many years, until I began doing my own research and discovered the truth behind it all.   I'm sure that if I were to go back on the missionary chat line again and ask about the varying version of the First Vision, mentioning the fact that there are at least 9 different versions that were told at various times, that I would get the same type of answer - "that's simply not true, and if there are variations, it's only because these versions were told to different people at different times who remembered them differently."  Yes, that is what I was told for many years - and unfortunately, I bought that explanation until I began doing my own research on that topic as well as many others.

So my advice is this:  Do your own research.  Do not rely on what you are told.  And do not be a Mormon as depicted in the Book of Mormon Musical who "just believes" despite all the mounting evidence.

And in that vein, here is my latest hymn parody based (again) on this theme...

HOW SKEWED IS THE DOCTRINE
Sung to the tune of How Firm a Foundation, #85

How skewed is the doctrine presented as His Word,
And what Mormons preach is so patently absurd.
What more can I say than to you I have said,
Beware of the Mormons, beware of the Mormons,
Beware of the Mormons, and don’t be misled.

For most of my life, I adhered to what they taught,
But now, looking back, I can see that I was caught.
For I could not see that it’s simply not true.
The lies and deception, the lies and deception,
The lies and deception I finally saw through.

They’ll tell you that it is the one true church of God,
But if you look deeper, you’ll see that it’s a fraud.
Just look at the facts, and it all will be plain.
The truth is apparent, the truth is apparent,
The truth is apparent, no questions remain.

© Diane Tingen, 7/25/2011

DON'T ACCEPT IT - LDS Hymn Parody #32

Being led down the garden path is a very interesting (and descriptive) phrase.  In doing some research on its origin, I found the following two explanations for it:

First, from Cliche Web:

This may have its origin in the story of Adam and Eve in the Bible when Satan convinces them that it's okay to eat from the tree of knowledge. Obviously, they were deceived.

And second, from Wikitionary:

Verb

to lead someone down the garden path

(idiomatic) To deceive, hoodwink

'It was thought that the early origins of the idiom was founded on the tendency for one village to marry off their unsuccessful brides to unknowing bachelors. The superstition of the groom not being able to see his veiled bride until the marriage proclamation had been made was widely practiced. To that end the bride remained veiled throughout the ceremony. When the veil was lifted, the groom would learn that he had been married to a stranger. Many ceremonies took place in private gardens and as such the tendency to deceive with intent had evolved to the idiom of leading someone down the garden path.' 

Regardless of its origin, though, my strong feeling is that this phrase as it is used today (meaning misguided, misled and/or deceived) is very applicable to the Mormon Church in that they attempt to present a very different picture than what is true in reality.  For instance, when someone is "investigating" the church, taking the missionary lessons, there are many things that are never mentioned - such as the very sordid history of the church, the truth behind polygamy and polyandry, the way in which the Book of Mormon was supposedly translated, the actual facts surrounding what Mormons present as the religious martyrdom of its Founder and first Prophet Joseph Smith, the fact that there are at least 9 versions of the First Vision, the facts surrounding the Book of Abraham, etc., etc.  I won't go into detail about all of these matters here, but will refer you instead to the book I have written regarding my issues with Mormonism (which is included on this blog).

Although the Mormon Church paints an enticing picture of its religion, and holds itself out to be "the one and only true church on the face of the earth," the garden path of Mormonism is very definitely a dead-end street that is paved with lies, deception, and contradictions (IMO, of course).

And this is the theme of my latest hymn parody...

DON'T ACCEPT IT
Sung to the tune of Count Your Blessings, #241

When I was a Mormon, I believed it all,
Bought into each detail, whether big or small.
I was so compliant, never questioned it,
Till I finally saw what I could not admit.

(Chorus)

Don’t accept it all on what they say,
Don’t buy into all the games they play.
Don’t accept it, simply do the math,
Don’t just let them lead you down the garden path.

Mormonism’s founder, namely Joseph Smith,
Made up this religion, it’s just one big myth.
From the Book of Mormon to the D&C,
He created scriptures, it’s so plain to see.

(Chorus)

Don’t accept it all on what they say,
Don’t buy into all the games they play.
Don’t accept it, simply do the math,
Don’t just let them lead you down the garden path.

From the phony doctrines to the history,
Mormonism’s not what it purports to be.
So when I began to research on my own,
It began to seem just like the Twilight Zone.

(Chorus)

Mormonism is a web of lies,
True religion is its fake disguise.
Mormonism, don’t be taken in,
There’s deception underneath the lies they spin.

It is so apparent if you study it,
Just like it unraveled for me, bit by bit,
Look at every element objectively,
And you will be shocked by all the lies you see.

(Chorus)

Mormonism is a total fraud,
Many lies behind its slick façade.
Mormonism, quickly run away,
Don’t accept a single word of what they say.

© Diane Tingen, 7/20/2011

A MIGHTY PUZZLE WAS THE CHURCH - LDS Hymn Parody #31

Yes, from the time I was a teenager, the Mormon Church was a puzzle to me.  So much of it just didn't make sense, but the message I received was that if I had issues, then I just needed to pray more, study the scriptures more, and be more obedient - and then it would make sense to me.  And believe me, I tried.  I accepted the proposition that it wasn't the church, it was ME - that I was not worthy enough to understand it all.  But regardless of how much confusion I felt, I kept plugging along, believing that if I just hung in there, one day it would all make sense.  Never happened.

When I began studying church history in preparation for going on a Mormon Church History Tour in the Summer of 2001, I immediately began to discover that there are all kinds of sordid details in Mormon Church History.  Naturally, my original reaction was disbelief - I must be misunderstanding something because these things couldn't have possibly taken place.  And then, when I came to terms with the fact that these were true accounts of what had occurred back then and all the lies laced throughout Mormon Church history and doctrine, I began to kick myself for not researching this earlier, for just going along and accepting it all without doing my own actual research.  In my opinion, this is one of the biggest problems with the Mormon Church - encouraging people to accept everything they are told and highly discouraging them from delving any deeper on their own.  Blind faith rather than actual reasoning or critical thinking.  Of course, since the church gives people the message that going ouside the "authorized areas" is a big No-No, it creates the type of situation where people "just believe."  But just believing based solely on what a person is told is not wise.  But that's what most Mormons do and seem to be just fine with it.

I am so glad that the Mormon Church is not a puzzle to me anymore.  I am very grateful that I finally broke the mold and began to research outside the "accepted parameters."  Of course, when I discovered that one of the characteristics of a cult is highly discouraging its members from researching outside what they have outlined as "accepted reading," I began to see the Mormon Church in a much different light.  Little did I know, all those years ago, when people told me that the Mormon Church was a cult, and I disagreed, becoming very annoyed that my church was being put in that highly offensive category, that they were actually right.  Live and learn.

And so, here is my latest hymn parody...

A MIGHTY PUZZLE WAS THE CHURCH

Sung to the tune of A Mighty Fortress is our God, #68

A mighty puzzle was the church,
For many years, I struggled.
No matter what I read or heard,
So many issues lingered.
And so, through my research,
I found the Mormon Church
Is filled with many lies,
And so I must surmise
That Joseph Smith just made it up.

So when I left the Mormon Church,
Enormous burdens lifted.
The puzzle had been solved at last,
And all confusion ended.

Where I was once devout,
I simply have no doubt
That it is just a ruse
For which there’s no excuse,
Religious cult that’s full of lies.

Apostates seek to know the truth,
And see behind the curtain.
They don’t accept what they are told,
They want to know for certain.
They see through the façade,
Believe that it’s a fraud,
Reject what is not true
With an objective view,
And aren’t afraid to speak the truth.

It was not easy when I left,
With family members active.
But though they may not understand,
The truth is my one motive.
For once I saw the lies,
There was no compromise.
I knew that if I stayed,
It would be a charade,
And now I live authentically.

© Diane Tingen, 7/15/2011

So many Mormons just stand there, staring at the missing puzzle piece,
not allowing themselves to take the leap and do their own research.
I will be forever grateful that I finally took that leap...

COME, FOLLOW ME - LDS Hymn Parody #30

Here is another LDS hymn parody - this one to the tune of Come, Follow Me, #116.  In doing research about this hymn, I discovered that the author of the lyrics (as shown in the LDS hymn book) was a Mormon man named John Nicholson (1839-1909), and the composer of the music itself was Samuel McBurney (1847-1909), who was NOT a Mormon.  Naturally that puzzled me, so I looked for more history of the hymn, especially because I was intrigued by the idea of a non-Mormon writing music for a Mormon hymn.  I thought perhaps that this hymn was originally a Protestant hymn and was then revised to be a Mormon hymn, but I haven't been able to find any sources regarding its background or history so far.

I find the second verse of this hymn to be particularly interesting, especially since discovering THE REAL TRUTH about Mormonism.

"Come Follow Me," a simple phrase,
Yet truth's sublime, effulgent rays,
Are in these simple words combined
To urge, inspire the human mind.

THE TRUTH.  An interesting concept.  Since discovering THE REAL TRUTH about Mormonism, I find it ironic that the Mormon Church holds its gospel and doctrine out as THE TRUTH when in actuality they play very fast and loose with the concept of TRUTH.  From lies and cover-ups about its history to deception and contradictions about its doctrines, the concept of TRUTH takes a beating in the Mormon Church.  Of course, if you buy into Mormonism, then you believe that the Mormon Church is the "one and only true church on the face of the earth," and that no other religion can provide you with salvation in the highest degree of the Celestial Kingdom.  Of course, in my opinion, when a person digs deeper than what they are told to believe ala Mormonism, they discover THE REAL TRUTH, which is that Mormonism is an enormous pile of lies, deception, cover-ups, and contradictions - and that it was a hoax from the get-go.

Of course, the most important part of "following" in the Mormon Church is the admonition to Follow the Prophet.  And always remember - When the Prophet speaks, the thinking is done.

So here is my version of this hymn...

COME, FOLLOW ME

LDS Hymn Book, #116

“Come, follow me,” the Mormon said,
And just believe what you are fed.
Though it may seem a bit absurd,
It is the truth, just take our word.

Though you may find opposing views,
And you may want to look at clues,
Just follow us and you will find
That you won’t need to use your mind.

And just avoid the internet,
Why get yourself at all upset?
When you can now accept it all,
Don’t bang your head against a wall.

All that you need is in your heart,
Feelings you’ve had right from the start.
Your bosom burns, that’s all you need,
That is your test, your proof indeed.

So when you’re told it is a hoax,
And when you hear the endless jokes,
Do not give in, and just stand firm,
And do not let them see you squirm.

© Diane Tingen, 7/13/2011

Obviously what Mormons should be saying is...

THE MORMONS WON'T OPEN THEIR EYES - LDS Hymn Parody #25

The hymn Before Thee, Lord, I Bow My Head reminds me of singing in my Ward Choir, growing up in Fresno, California. My mother was the Choir Director for several years when I was growing up, and I started singing in the Choir when I was only 12 years old.  My mother really liked to sing this particular hymn, probably because of the way it is arranged with the women singing first, and then the men repeating the lines.  So this hymn brings back some very good memories of my mother (who passed away in 1977 when I was only 25 years old).

My parody of this hymn highlights (again) the fact that Mormons (IMO) need to open their eyes and realize that the religion to which they adhere is built on a huge stack of lies. To me, that realization was a deal-breaker. Interestingly, some active Mormons (on various discussion boards) have actually asked me that since all religions have lies laced throughout them, why should Mormonism be any different? And I have replied that although that may be true, that doesn't make the lies acceptable, in any form. To me, accepting lies as the basis for a religion is rationalization at its core. Of course, the apologetic-type websites are the epitome of this mindset. If the Mormon Church is indeed the "one and only true church on the face of the earth," then why does it need so many Mormon Apologists out there? -- such as FAIR (Foundation for Apologetic Information and Research - http://www.fairlds.org) and FARMS (Foundation for Ancient Research and Mormon Studies - http://maxwellinstitute.byu.edu/). It just doesn't make sense to me. And one question seems to remain - if what the Prophet says is the bottom line ("When the Prophet speaks, the debate is over"), then shouldn't that be the only basis needed for belief? Not for me, of course, but for all the TBMs out there...

THE MORMONS WON'T OPEN THEIR EYES

Sung to the tune of Before Thee, Lord, I Bow My Head, #158

The Mormons won't open their eyes,
Though it's not true, no big surprise.
They just believe no matter what,
But in a web of lies they're caught.
Right from the start, it was a ruse.
Why can’t they see there’s no excuse
For the deceit and what they say,
All of the games the Mormons play.

Their Prophet dear named Joseph Smith
Created it, just one big myth.
The Mormon Church is just a fraud,
It’s not inspired, not Word of God.
What happened to integrity?
Why all the lies, dishonesty?
They work to dupe the ones they can,
A horrible, destructive plan.

All negatives they simply hide,
Actual truth, they can’t abide.
Don’t listen to the evidence,
Cause after all, it might make sense.
Believe by faith, and do not stray.
Free agency given away.
Obey it all, let’s get it straight,
The Prophet speaks, no more debate.

And so I try to make them see
The many lies so clear to me
Though it is hard to talk to them
When what I say they just condemn.
Why don’t they think and use their brains?
Simply content to stay in chains.
Their minds are numb, don’t need a sign,
All Mormons walk the party line.

© Diane Tingen, 7/4/2011

AND THE MORMONS JUST BELIEVE - LDS Hymn Parody #24

JUST BELIEVE.  Ah yes, that's what Mormons do, with almost a child-like naiveté.  They don't seem to care what evidence there is against their beliefs being true - they "just believe" anyway.

The tendency to "just believe" no matter what seems to be embedded in Mormons everywhere, and is (very cleverly) highlighted in a song entitled I Believe from the Book of Mormon Musical.  One of my favorite parts of that song is, "I am a Mormon, and dang it, a Mormon just believes."  IMO, that sums up the Mormon mindset, very succintly.

Another part of that song says, "Now I must be completely devout, I can't have even one shred of doubt."  Of course, that statement is true of Mormons as well - and I think that's one of the major causes of their rigidness.  If they have "even one shred of doubt," they seem to become even more immovable and inflexible, as though they are convinced that if they voice their concerns and doubts, then they will be struck down.  Personally, I think it's very important to be able to voice your concerns and doubts, and have someone reason through your questions with you.  My father, on the other hand, was a very dogmatic, pious Mormon who "just believed."  And when I would voice my concerns and doubts to him, he would tell me "not to feel that way" and to "just believe."  That seemed to be his reply for many things, and those types of responses were always very frustrating for me.

So the below hymn parody is my take on the Mormon tendency to simply "just believe," and I think it is very apropos set to the tune of Put Your Shoulder to the Wheel...

AND THE MORMONS JUST BELIEVE
Sung to the tune of Put Your Shoulder to the Wheel, #252

The church is full of mindless sheep,
Who seem to be naïve.
They simply do as they are told,
And the Mormons just believe.

(Chorus)
Yes, the Mormons just believe, it is true.
They are told the things to say and to do.
They all conform, it is the norm,
And the Mormons just believe.

The world outside may pressure them,
As they try to deceive.
But faithfully, they look away,
Yes, the Mormons just believe.

(Chorus)
And the Mormons just believe all the lies,
As they close their minds to truth in disguise.
It is a crock, that’s not a shock,
But the Mormons just believe.

With heart and soul, they follow close
All counsel they receive.
They’re told to jump, they ask how high,
Yes, the Mormons just believe.

(Chorus)

And the Mormons just believe what they’re told,
Though it’s obvious the lies they are sold.

No matter what, their mouths are shut,

For the Mormons just believe.

The web of lies is very clear,
But they cannot conceive
That all of it was just made up,
No, the Mormons just believe.

(Chorus)

And the Mormons just believe through it all,
Though it’s written very clear on the wall,
A pile of shit, it’s not legit,
But the Mormons just believe.

© Diane Tingen, 7/1/2011

In my opinion, this is a much better idea...

THE TRUTH IS THERE FOR YOU TO FIND - LDS Hymn Parody #22

167 years ago today, on June 27, 1844, Joseph Smith was killed by a mob while he was incarcerated in Carthage Jail in Illinois.  Of course, Joseph Smith was the founder and first President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (aka the Mormon Church).  While I was growing up, and during my entire time as a member of the Mormon Church, I was always told that Joseph Smith was a religious martyr, that he was killed because of religious persecution.  That story is the Mormon Party Line - but that simply is not true.  Joseph Smith was arrested and placed in Carthage Jail because he ordered the destruction of the Nauvoo Expositor (and the burning of the building which it was housed) after a story was published exposing Joseph Smith's practice of polygamy and polyandry.  That is why he was in Carthage Jail, and that is why he was killed by a mob while he was incarcerated there.  That does not make him a religious martyr, but rather a criminal (especially when you take into account that Joseph Smith was arrested at least 6 other times, and escaped from jail on at least two occasions).  Of course, it has been pointed out to me by a TBM with whom I have exchanged some messages that since he was never convicted of any crime, he was therefore innocent of all charges - but to me, that is simply rationalizing out the situation, sticking your head in the sand, pretending that reality isn't real, and that everything was completely above board (which it most definitely was not).

Naturally, I had believed the "religious martyr" story about Joseph Smith my entire life - until I began to do some research into Mormon Church history in preparation for going on a Mormon Church History Tour in the Summer of 2001.  Since I had never really studied much about church history as I was growing up, and basically relied wholly on what I was told and taught, I did not know a lot of details about the subject - so before going on this trip, I decided to do some reading and research so I would know more when we visited the key places.  But the more I read, studied and researched, the more I began to realize that what I had been taught and told about the history of the Mormon Church was simply not true.  All of this was quite a revelation, and was the beginning of the end for me.  Another big revelation for me was the fact that Joseph Smith had a gun when he was attacked in Carthage Jail, and shot it at his attackers.  So although he claimed to be "going like a lamb to the slaughter," that was not an accurate depiction of the situation either.

On a Facebook group of which I am a member, I heard about a Facebook page named "Sharing the Gospel through Social Media" - and I have gone on there several times in the past few days. This page is dedicated to honoring Joseph Smith on the anniversary of the date of his death.  In reading what is being posted there by TBMs, I can't help but feel incredibly sad for these members of the Mormon Church. They are following the Mormon Party Line completely, without doing any independent research or any critical thinking - just like I did for so many years. In my opinion, taking the stances that they are without looking outside the "authorized reading areas" is simply unwise.  Some of these people are obviously very intelligent, but that intelligence is being shut down when it comes to Mormonism. 

I have posted some comments on that Facebook page, as have some other people, trying to say something that will help to open these people's minds to the point where they will feel the need to research and study on their own, independent from strictly Mormon viewpoints.  IMO, no one should take anyone's word for anything, but rather they should read, research and study on their own in order to discover the actual truth about everything in life.  Last time I went there, though, I discovered that all of my posts and comments have been deleted.  Censorship, anyone?  It amazes me that so many TBMs can say whatever they want about the "truthfulness" of the gospel, and bear their testimonies all day long, but the minute anyone voices an opposing view, they become enraged.  Deleting comments on a page like this is, in my opinion, very childish and immature - and when I made a post to that effect, that one was deleted as well.  I figure it's just a matter of time before my last one is deleted (commenting, again, on the deletions and the lack of tolerance for opposing views).  Oh, well...

I am grateful every day of my life that I finally opened my eyes to the real truth, and it is my hope that many of these people will come to see the light through what others may say and cause some cognitive dissonance so they will research on their own.  It is my feeling that if everyone who discovers the truth and disassociates themselves from Mormonism simply keeps quiet about their discoveries, then what we have gone through and discovered will be of no help to those still caught in the web of lies perpetuated by the Mormon Church.

Truly, the truth is out there if they would just read... or Google it... or do something other than just blindly follow the Mormon Party Line.

THE TRUTH IS THERE FOR YOU TO FIND

Sung to the tune of Abide with Me, Tis Eventide, #165

The truth is there for you to find,
The lies can’t be ignored.

Deception and dishonesty,
It just might strike a chord.
Why don’t you research on your own?
The facts you soon will find.

(Chorus)

Just open up your mind and think,
To lies don’t be confined.
Just open up your mind and think,
The truth you just might find.

The truth is there for you to find,
Been closed off for too long.
Believing things that are not true
Is damaging and wrong.
If you don’t read the evidence,
You might as well be blind.

(Chorus)

Just open up your mind and think,
To lies don’t be confined.
Just open up your mind and think,
The truth you just might find.

The truth is there for you to find,
Employ your common sense.
It doesn’t hurt to use your brain,
It is your best defense.
Don’t simply buy what you are told,
Within the web entwined.

(Chorus)

Just open up your mind and think,
To lies don’t be confined.
Just open up your mind and think,
The truth you just might find.

The truth is there for you to find
In Mormonism’s fraud.
It’s clear if you just study it,
It’s not the Word of God.
So don’t stay with it out of fear,
To misery resigned.

(Chorus)

Just open up your mind and think,
To lies don’t be confined.
Just open up your mind and think,
The truth you just might find.

The truth is there for you to find,
And Google is your friend.
Just research independently
And all your doubts will end.
To “just believe” as Mormons do,
Insanity defined.

(Chorus)

Just open up your mind and think,
To lies don’t be confined.
Just open up your mind and think,
The truth you just might find.

© Diane Tingen, 6/27/2011

IMO, Mormons need to put on their thinking caps, and use
their critical thinking skills in order to determine for themselves
whether the LDS Church is true.  Relying on what they are told
to believe by their Church leaders and Prophet without doing
any independent research on their own is simply not wise.