IF LIES ARE LACED THROUGHOUT IT ALL - LDS Hymn Parody #34

One of the biggest remaining questions for me regarding the Mormon Church and its members is why so many of them seem to not want to know the truth.  Like in this picture, the minute someone tries to tell them an opposing opinion, they immediately shut off their minds... the ol' la, la, la, I can't hear you response.  But then again, I suppose this response is understandable when you look at the atmosphere created within Mormonism (i.e. when the prophet speaks, the thinking is done, the debate is over).  In this way, the members are more able to rationalize through all of the loose ends and apparent lies to arrive at the conclusion that the Mormon Church is somehow true.  Very clever, these Mormon leaders.

Of course, having been born and raised in the Mormon Church, I can understand where this immediate response to shut off your brain comes from to a certain degree.  Since I just went along for many years (50 to be exact), not really questioning very much and just accepting it all without much thinking or contemplation, I know how deep the brainwashing runs.  If I didn't understand something, I was given the message that we cannot understand everything in this life, but that if we endure to the end, it will all be made known to us and then we will know that it was worth it.  I was also given the message that I must not be worthy enough to understand certain things, so I needed to pray more, study the scriptures more, attend all of the church meetings, etc., and then perhaps it would make more sense.  If there's anything wrong, it couldn't possibly be that the church is wrong, so it must be that you are not worthy enough.  The ol' it's you not them mindset.  Sadly, this works quite well in Mormondom.

This is one of the things that strikes me the hardest when reading the comments posted on my blog by Anonymous in the past few days.  This person is obviously spouting the Mormon Party Line, and it seems to me that there is very little actual thinking going on.  The Mormon leadership should be very proud of this person since he/she is the epitome of The Mormon Way.

And so this leads to my latest hymn parody.  Truly, if lies are laced throughout it all, why don't they want to know?  When I began to discover all the discrepancies between what I had been taught and what was true in reality, I was flabbergasted and very confused - but I was also grateful that I had finally taken the step to finding out the actual truth.  If I am now ridiculed and mocked by TBMs, that is a small price to pay.  But regardless of what they all think, I cannot remain quiet about what I have discovered.  To do so would be to diminish the effect of the actual knowledge that I have gained.  And I refuse to be a compliant sheep anymore.

IF LIES ARE LACED THROUGHOUT IT ALL
Sung to the tune of O Love That Glorifies the Son, #295

If lies are laced throughout it all,
If lies are written on the wall,
Those lies will be its sure downfall.
Why don’t they want to know?
Why don’t they want to know?

Why do they cling to what they’re told
And all of the apostates scold?
There’s lies throughout what they’ve been sold.
Why don’t they want to know?
Why don’t they want to know?

They hide their heads deep in the sand,
And say that they don’t understand
Why we have taken such a stand
Against the Mormon Church,
Against the Mormon Church.

Instead of saying we besmirch
The doctrines of the Mormon Church,
Why don’t they do their own research?
Perhaps they’d find the truth,
Perhaps they’d find the truth.

They ask us why we can’t move on,
To Mormonism we are drawn,
They want us all to just be gone,
To simply go away,
To simply go away.

Apostates who have broken free,
Who all the lies so plainly see,
Our voices cannot silent be,
Or it will be for naught,
Or it will be for naught.

© Diane Tingen, 8/7/2011

THE MORMONS WON'T OPEN THEIR EYES - LDS Hymn Parody #25

The hymn Before Thee, Lord, I Bow My Head reminds me of singing in my Ward Choir, growing up in Fresno, California. My mother was the Choir Director for several years when I was growing up, and I started singing in the Choir when I was only 12 years old.  My mother really liked to sing this particular hymn, probably because of the way it is arranged with the women singing first, and then the men repeating the lines.  So this hymn brings back some very good memories of my mother (who passed away in 1977 when I was only 25 years old).

My parody of this hymn highlights (again) the fact that Mormons (IMO) need to open their eyes and realize that the religion to which they adhere is built on a huge stack of lies. To me, that realization was a deal-breaker. Interestingly, some active Mormons (on various discussion boards) have actually asked me that since all religions have lies laced throughout them, why should Mormonism be any different? And I have replied that although that may be true, that doesn't make the lies acceptable, in any form. To me, accepting lies as the basis for a religion is rationalization at its core. Of course, the apologetic-type websites are the epitome of this mindset. If the Mormon Church is indeed the "one and only true church on the face of the earth," then why does it need so many Mormon Apologists out there? -- such as FAIR (Foundation for Apologetic Information and Research - http://www.fairlds.org) and FARMS (Foundation for Ancient Research and Mormon Studies - http://maxwellinstitute.byu.edu/). It just doesn't make sense to me. And one question seems to remain - if what the Prophet says is the bottom line ("When the Prophet speaks, the debate is over"), then shouldn't that be the only basis needed for belief? Not for me, of course, but for all the TBMs out there...

THE MORMONS WON'T OPEN THEIR EYES

Sung to the tune of Before Thee, Lord, I Bow My Head, #158

The Mormons won't open their eyes,
Though it's not true, no big surprise.
They just believe no matter what,
But in a web of lies they're caught.
Right from the start, it was a ruse.
Why can’t they see there’s no excuse
For the deceit and what they say,
All of the games the Mormons play.

Their Prophet dear named Joseph Smith
Created it, just one big myth.
The Mormon Church is just a fraud,
It’s not inspired, not Word of God.
What happened to integrity?
Why all the lies, dishonesty?
They work to dupe the ones they can,
A horrible, destructive plan.

All negatives they simply hide,
Actual truth, they can’t abide.
Don’t listen to the evidence,
Cause after all, it might make sense.
Believe by faith, and do not stray.
Free agency given away.
Obey it all, let’s get it straight,
The Prophet speaks, no more debate.

And so I try to make them see
The many lies so clear to me
Though it is hard to talk to them
When what I say they just condemn.
Why don’t they think and use their brains?
Simply content to stay in chains.
Their minds are numb, don’t need a sign,
All Mormons walk the party line.

© Diane Tingen, 7/4/2011

DID YOU STOP TO THINK? LDS Hymn Parody #23

Another LDS Hymn Parody.  This one is set to Did You Think to Pray, #140, and highlights what happens when people simply attempt to shelve their doubts and try to be faithful in spite of all of the questions that are mounting in their brains.  My reaction to that situation was to simply put all my issues on a shelf and pretend they weren't there - to keep moving forward in the Mormon mindset without really analyzing or examining any of it in any detail.  For a very long time, I truly believed and followed the admonition that says, "When the Prophet speaks, the debate is over."  Not a wise move on my part at all.

When I finally did begin to do my own independent research, I was 50 years old and preparing to go on a Mormon Church History Tour.  I wasn't looking for anything to latch onto to fuel my impending apostasy, but rather simply wanted to know more about church history so I would be more versed when we visited the key places.  Boy, was that an eye-opener!  The more and more I read, the more I became convinced that it was a hoax from the very beginning, and that since then, the Church leaders have worked hard to perpetuate the fraud.

I will say that there had been things over the years that had bothered me.  And that is where my shelf came in handy.  Sticking those issues on that shelf and then trying to pretend they didn't exist did work for quite a while.  But once I added all the information about Mormon Church history to the pile, it began to fall.  For a while, I tried to hold it up and keep it all intact, thinking that perhaps I was misunderstanding it all - that if I prayed more, studied more, and tried to be even more faithful, that I would come to understand where my conclusions had gone wrong.  But in the end, that didn't work and the shelf came tumbling down completely.

Of course, TBMs (true, believing Mormons) don't agree with my views - and that is their prerogative.  But I truly hope that what I am presenting here will help them to open up their eyes and at least do some independent research so they will know what is contained in Mormon Church history and what its real doctrines entail.  Until a person does that, they cannot "know beyond a shadow of a doubt" (as so many Mormons say in bearing their testimonies) that what they are adhering to religiously is the Word of God - or that the LDS Church truly is the "one and only true church on the face of the earth." 

DID YOU STOP TO THINK?
Sung to Did You Think to Pray? #140
(aka Ere You Left Your Room this Morning)

When you read the Book of Mormon,
Did you stop to think?
Did you see anachronisms,
And the many contradictions,
Clearly out of sync?

(Chorus)
Oh, how thinking makes us stronger,
We must always sort it out.
So when questions keep arising,
Do not squelch your doubt.

When you heard about church history,
Did you stop to think?
Did you read yourself and study,
Not accepting every story
Each and every kink?

(Chorus)
Oh, how thinking makes us stronger,
We must always sort it out.
So when questions keep arising,
Do not squelch your doubt.

When you listened to the Prophet,
Did you stop to think?
When you heard what he professes,
Did you give up your own choices,
And completely shrink?

(Chorus)
Oh, how thinking makes us stronger,
We must always sort it out.
So when questions keep arising,
Do not squelch your doubt.

When your brain began to whisper,
"You should stop to think,"
Did you simply shelve the problems,
Watching them turn into volumes,
Closer to the brink?

(Chorus)
Oh, how thinking makes us stronger,
We must always sort it out.
So when questions keep arising,
Do not squelch your doubt.

When your doubts began to fester,
Did you stop to think?
Did you go into denial,
Trying hard to just be faithful,
And the Kool-Aid drink?

(Chorus)
Oh, how thinking makes us stronger,
We must always sort it out.
So when questions keep arising,
Do not squelch your doubt.

© Diane Tingen, 6/28/2011

DEAR TO THE HEART OF THE MORMONS - LDS Hymn Parody #6

Here's my latest hymn parody - Dear to the Heart of the Mormons (revised from Dear to the Heart of the Shepherd, speaking of all the sheep out there).  With the completion of this hymn parody, I am checking off another one from my original list.  This is one of the hymns I mentioned last week when I began this project, and I think it is definitely apropos to be added to the ExMormon Hymn Book. 

In fact, as I mentioned before, this hymn was one that used to crack up my best friend growing up (who is still very TBM, even now) and I when we were teenagers.  We used to burst into laughter when we were sitting together, singing it in Sacrament Meeting. 

I mean, this hymn (in its original form) is just so dramatic, and the words are so overdone and cheesy.  I really think my new version is a big improvement...

DEAR TO THE HEART OF THE MORMONS
Sung to the tune of Dear to the Heart of the Shepherd, #221

Dear to the heart of the Mormons,
Dear are the sheep they entrap.
Held by the Kool-Aid they’re drinking,
And all the rest of the crap.
But to the anguish of Mormons,
Many are leaving the fold.

All the apostates and ExMos,
Finding the lies they withhold.

(Chorus)

Singling out all the Antis,
Who speak of lies and deceit.
Begging them, “Can’t you be quiet?

Why can’t you be more discreet?”

Dear to the heart of the Mormons,
Touting their lifestyle to all.
Claiming that the Word of Wisdom
Will help us all not to fall.
Saying Joe Smith was a Prophet,
Translating the Word of God.
But they don’t mention his history
Or that he was just a fraud.

(Chorus)

Condemning all of the “Antis,”
Who speak of lies and deceit.
Begging them, “Can’t you be quiet?

Why can’t you be more discreet?”

I was a part of the Mormons
For many years of my life.
I drank the Kool-Aid they offer,
I was an eternal wife.
But when I found the deception,
All of the lies that they tell,
Including the sordid history,
That’s when I bid them farewell.

(Chorus)

That’s when I joined the apostates,
Those who uncovered the lies.
Now unafraid to call bullshit,
Now less naïve and more wise.

© Diane Tingen, 6/2/2011

And one last word about Sheep...
ala Gary Larsen and his Far Side cartoon...

I STAND ALL AMAZED - LDS Hymn Parody #1

OK, I've been thinking about this and have decided that the ExMormon community needs a Hymn Book.  So I've started working on re-writing some hymns that I grew up singing in Sacrament Meeting and Sunday School (and, of course, later on in Seminary and Relief Society).

I mean, really... I need to put some good use to all these LDS hymns still rolling around in my brain, which is something I just can't seem to stop.  Of course, part of the reason for that is I was Ward Organist for many years (and also played the piano in Relief Society and Primary).  Plus I sang in many Ward Choirs and Stake Choirs over the years (and also sang solos as well as in duets, trios and quartets).  In fact, for a few years, I was in the Southern California Mormon Choir (which is SoCal's answer to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir).  Music is the one thing I miss about going to church... but not enough to go back to the Mormon Church... or any other church at this point since it seems that I'm irrevocably burned out on organized religion in general...

So anyway, I think the ExMormon Hymn Book should include ones like:

The Spirit of God, #2 (my mind is already swirling with the possibilities, some of which will probably turn out to be slightly "blasphemous").

Praise to the Man, #27 (oh yes, I feel an ExMormon version of this one coming on.  I mean, praising Joseph Smith?  This "revision" should come very easily).

Come, Come Ye Saints, #30 (yes, the possibilities are endless, and I'm sure you know where I may go with this one).

Joseph Smith's First Prayer, #26 (which was previously entitled Oh, How Lovely Was the Morning when I was growing up.  And really, how could I pass this one up? - especially since it is now very obvious to me that the whole "First Vision" thing is a complete fabrication.  I mean, really?  9 versions?  Get real.)

Dear to the Heart of the Shepherd, #221 (I have to "revise" this one, mainly because it was one that always cracked me up when I was a teenager - my best friend and I sat together in Sacrament Meeting a couple of times when this hymn was sung, and we couldn't make it through much of it without breaking out in laughter.  Very strange indeed.).

If You Could Hie to Kolob, #284 (which I always thought was rather strange anyway, so creating "revisions" to it shouldn't be much of a stretch).  As it turns out, the recorded music for this one is not available on LDS.org because of "copyright restrictions."

And so many others... 

Anyway, the first one I've "revised" is I Stand All Amazed, #193.  This hymn has a particular significance to me, aside from the "religious" implications, because it had already been revised years ago by a girl who came to live with my family when she was 18, had just joined the Mormon Church, and had been thrown out by her very Catholic family (my mother was Relief Society President at the time, and took in some "stray" people from time to time).  Anyway, this girl "fell in love" with a boy who lived in our Ward, and began singing this hymn at home with the words, "I Stand All Amazed by the love Michael offers me."  I'm sure she made up other words at the time, but I don't remember anymore right now.  I was 12 at the time so remembering all details is rather difficult at this point.

So, without further ado, here is my Ex-Mormon version of this beloved hymn: 

I STAND ALL AMAZED
LDS Hymn Book #193

I stand all amazed at the crap Mormons pushed on me,
Confused at the lies that they buy into mindlessly.
I shutter to think that I once was a TBM,
That I once believed it, but now I’m not one of them.

Chorus:
Oh, it is wonderful
That I could see the light,
Enough to know what’s right.
Oh, it is wonderful,
Wonderful to me.

I marvel that finally I saw it’s a pile of crap,
So grateful to know I was able to spring the trap.
That I should extend my distaste for its doctrine now,
Sufficient to voice all its ills, this I do avow.

Chorus:
Oh, it is wonderful
That I could recognize
The fact that it’s all lies.
Oh, it is wonderful,
Wonderful to me.

I think of the years when I struggled to go to church,
Such torture, such hate and repulsion I do besmirch.
No, no, I will party and do what the hell I please,
Until I am falling down drunk at a few orgies.

Chorus:
Oh, it is wonderful,
That I am finally free
To live life blissfully.
Oh, it is wonderful,
Wonderful to me.

___________________________________________________

Well, I obviously have my work cut out for me in compiling an ExMormon Hymn Book.  But it must be done because a lot of these hymns are really crying out for revision.  And of course, I would love suggestions...

So I'll keep you posted on what comes to me... because I know it will happen (since that's just the way my mind works).