DEAR TO THE HEART OF THE MORMONS - LDS Hymn Parody #6

Here's my latest hymn parody - Dear to the Heart of the Mormons (revised from Dear to the Heart of the Shepherd, speaking of all the sheep out there).  With the completion of this hymn parody, I am checking off another one from my original list.  This is one of the hymns I mentioned last week when I began this project, and I think it is definitely apropos to be added to the ExMormon Hymn Book. 

In fact, as I mentioned before, this hymn was one that used to crack up my best friend growing up (who is still very TBM, even now) and I when we were teenagers.  We used to burst into laughter when we were sitting together, singing it in Sacrament Meeting. 

I mean, this hymn (in its original form) is just so dramatic, and the words are so overdone and cheesy.  I really think my new version is a big improvement...

DEAR TO THE HEART OF THE MORMONS
Sung to the tune of Dear to the Heart of the Shepherd, #221

Dear to the heart of the Mormons,
Dear are the sheep they entrap.
Held by the Kool-Aid they’re drinking,
And all the rest of the crap.
But to the anguish of Mormons,
Many are leaving the fold.

All the apostates and ExMos,
Finding the lies they withhold.

(Chorus)

Singling out all the Antis,
Who speak of lies and deceit.
Begging them, “Can’t you be quiet?

Why can’t you be more discreet?”

Dear to the heart of the Mormons,
Touting their lifestyle to all.
Claiming that the Word of Wisdom
Will help us all not to fall.
Saying Joe Smith was a Prophet,
Translating the Word of God.
But they don’t mention his history
Or that he was just a fraud.

(Chorus)

Condemning all of the “Antis,”
Who speak of lies and deceit.
Begging them, “Can’t you be quiet?

Why can’t you be more discreet?”

I was a part of the Mormons
For many years of my life.
I drank the Kool-Aid they offer,
I was an eternal wife.
But when I found the deception,
All of the lies that they tell,
Including the sordid history,
That’s when I bid them farewell.

(Chorus)

That’s when I joined the apostates,
Those who uncovered the lies.
Now unafraid to call bullshit,
Now less naïve and more wise.

© Diane Tingen, 6/2/2011

And one last word about Sheep...
ala Gary Larsen and his Far Side cartoon...