Wednesday, June 15, 2011


One of my favorite LDS hymns used to be Love at Home.  Beautiful melody, wonderful concept.  I mean, who doesn't want there to be love in their home?  Unfortunately, though, since there are so many impossible expectations in "Mormon life," the reality is that in Mormonism, a member's home becomes an extension of Church - and having no "down time" at all makes for a miserable existence... unless, of course, you are deluding yourself into thinking you're really happy (which a lot of Mormons seem to be able to succeed at doing).

The main thing that bothers me about the Mormon Church is the fact that people have to close off their critical thinking and reasoning abilities in order to accept it - as well as reject the use of any amount of common sense.  In essence, being Mormon turns people into clones and sheep who just follow along, stay with the herd, and simply "believe."  They stop thinking about what they are told to believe, and "just believe."  Most of it makes no sense, but that doesn't stop Mormons from believing in it.  They begin to rely on "feelings," rather than actual thinking.  They give more credence to a "burning in their bosoms" telling them something is right rather that the actual facts that, if looked at and examined, would tell them the real truth.  But sadly, they truly do react just like the song "I Believe" from the Book of Mormon Musical, which says - "If you believe, the Lord will reveal it. And you'll know it's all true. You'll just feel it."  No actual thinking accomplished or allowed.

And that is what this hymn parody is all about - the fact that although the doctrine and teachings of the Mormon Church are nonsensical, the members just keep on believing.  Just like the song "I Believe" from the Book of Mormon Musical says, "I am a Mormon... and dang it! a Mormon just believes."

So here is my revision of this beloved Mormon hymn...

Sung to the tune of Love at Home, #294

There is nonsense all around
In the Mormon Church.
There is blab in every sound
In the Mormon Church.
Farce and blather there abide,
Concrete facts are all denied,
And the truth across they slide
In the Mormon Church.

In the doctrine, there are lies
In the Mormon Church.
Pure deception, no surprise,
In the Mormon Church.
Reasoning, you shouldn’t try,
Common sense, just say goodbye,
Normal rules do not apply
In the Mormon Church.

Lots of mindless clones and sheep
In the Mormon Church.
And the foolishness runs deep
In the Mormon Church.
Try to tell them, does no good,
Can’t get through, but wish I could,
Logic is not understood
In the Mormon Church.

It's just gibberish they teach
In the Mormon Church.
But for truth they will not reach
In the Mormon Church.
Burning in your bosom now,
Means your brain shut down, and how.

To it all, you must kowtow
In the Mormon Church.

© Diane Tingen, 6/15/2011


Anonymous said...

It is interesting to me that when a Mormon leaves the church he/she cannot do so quietly. So often there is slander, whining, disgruntled words, kicking and screaming. Why? It has been my experience that when people who at one time accepted the fulness of the gospel choose to leave it all behind there is only room for hate left in their hearts. After reading your poem all I can feel is your hatred and contempt and that is the opposite of Christ's teachings and Mormon teachings. It is so sad to see your journey took you to this dark place. May you find your way to light and happiness some day.

Diane Tingen said...

Another Anonymous Comment... why do people do that? Why can't they simply leave their names and email addresses so I can have an actual exchange of ideas with them? Hit and run. Very sad. I've written a post to respond to this comment (dated 4/15/2012)... please read it and respond with your name and email address...

Jean said...

When the LDS Church stops creating pain and havoc in families they may be left alone. As long as they are in the persecution business, so are we. Strong people stand up for what they believe and they have the courage to leave their names.
I'm with you Diane. Lies need to be exposed. Whistle blowers are necessary. How would anonymous like it if she was taking a very dangerous medicine, someone knew and didn't expose the company?
She/he thinks that the Mormons have a pass, but they don't, nobody gets a pass when they do harm to others.

Anonymous said...

I love our church and what is stands for the church is the only church today that still tries to hold the sabbath holy has no paid ministry is kind to everyone doesnt talk ugly of other religons and even though our ppl try very hard to do the rite thing yes sometimes we fall off coarse but we do not judge.
I realize that a church that gives and works so hard for Christ to do the right thing will be scotomized just as Christ himself was so very long ago. I also know that our church is doesnt want to argue with the public and that is way you never see to many ppl stand up for the church. But i am here to say I love Christ and the church

Diane Tingen said...

More from "Anonymous." How courageous, posting comments anonymously. By the way, what does scotomized mean? I can't find it in the dictionary.

Shino Beasty said...

I left the church about 22 years ago after I attempted to reinforce my "faith" by learning everything about it. Instead I discovered the entire church was a fraud built on a huge web of lies that only superficially resembled true Christianity. That being said I really enjoy your hymn parodies!