Thursday, July 28, 2011

IT AMAZES ME WHEN I LOOK BACK...


PEACE OUT

It amazes me when I look back
That I didn’t have a heart attack
From always trying to just conform
To the randomness of Mormondom.
Finally seeing that it makes no sense
Made me face the fact it’s just pretense.
Deceptive doctrines, a stack of lies,
Sordid history they can't disguise.
Mormonism is a dead-end street
Lined with numerous lies and deceit.


You can’t do this, and you can’t do that,
Compliance is clearly where’s it at.
Obedience, no deviation,
Follow every instruction given.
That mindset would have been my demise,
Since no middle ground or compromise
Is acceptable within the lines
Of Mormonism as it entwines
Its web of lies into families,
Blurring its limits and boundaries.


And now, I’m happy just being me,
Not what they expected me to be.
An ExMormon to my very core,
No longer the sheep I was before.
Not content to be lead around,
Astonished by all the lies I found
Laced in Mormonism, through and through,
Very glad I finally got a clue.
Life is too short to be miserable,
And being free is phenomenal.


But I know what the Mormons will say,
That I've thrown eternal life away,
Separated from my family
Is how I'll spend all eternity.
Condescending, as they chastise me,
Saying that happy I cannot be.
Wickedness never was happiness,
And my sins I will have to confess,
My true happiness is a concept
That they simply refuse to accept.


So "Peace Out" has new meaning for me,
And I can say undeniably
That being free to be who I am
And not just following the program
Is a priceless gift, its own reward,
So many options to be explored.
No longer plagued by suffocation,
Or feeling like there's a huge burden
Looming over me, about to fall,
As I bang my head against a wall.


Yes, I’ve taken the apostate route,
And though the Mormons may scream and shout
About the straight and narrow way to God,
I know that Mormonism is a fraud
Invented to exercise control,
A fake religion without a soul.
The truth is out there to be found,
So glad I got out before I drowned.
I am, beyond a shadow of a doubt,
Truly happy now, and so... PEACE OUT!!!


© Diane Tingen, 7/28/2011

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

SO I'VE NOW WRITTEN 33 LDS HYMN PARODIES...

Yes, I've now written 33 LDS Hymn Parodies.  Truly, I can't believe it.  For something that started off as a novelty, with alternative words popping into my head for one or more of the LDS hymns, the whole thing seems to have snowballed.  In fact, some people have suggested that I record a CD of my LDS hymn parodies, and I have been thinking about that possibility.  Of course, at this point, since I have written 33, I could record a 2-set CD.  Hmmm, how to go about that?  I have thought of trying to figure out a way to contact Trey Parker and/or Matt Stone (the South Park guys and creators of the Book of Mormon Musical)... after all, they are originally from Colorado (which is my new adopted home state).  So who knows?  Maybe I'll work on that...

Numbers have always fascinated me.  My favorite number is 3, which I consider to be my "lucky" number.  And I always seem to gravitate toward multiples of 3, looking for them in the numbers I see.

Here are some examples:
My birth month is December, which is the 12th month - and 1 + 2 = 3 (and 12 is a multiple of 3).


My birth year is 1951 - and 5 + 1 = 6 (a multiple of 3).

I graduated from high school in 1969 - and, of course, 6 and 9 are both multiples of 3 (as is 69 itself).  And 6 + 9 = 15, which is a multiple of 3.

My first name DIANE has the numerical equivalent of 33 - 4 + 9 + 1 + 14+ 5 = 33.

My last name TINGEN has the numerical equivalent of 69 - 20 + 9 + 14 + 7 + 5 + 14 = 69.
Amazing stuff, huh?!!

So I consider it a very big milestone to have hit #33 in my writing of LDS hymn parodies.

In looking at the number 33, though, there is some controversy involved.  For instance, there are a number of "celebrities" who died at age 33, including John Belushi and Chris Farley (both SNL comics and actors); Sam Cooke (American soul musician); Carole Lombarde (actress and wife of Clark Gable); Eva Peron (actress and Argentina first lady who died of cancer); and even Eva Braun (Adolf Hitler's lover who committed suicide).  Of course, Jesis Christ died at age 33 (and according to what I've read, Jesus performed 33 performed miracles).

Interestingly, the other famous age category of celebrity deaths seems to be 27 (which is also a multiple of 3).  Just this past weekend, I discovered this phenomenon when Amy Winehouse died at age 27.  Apparently, there is the "Forever 27 Club" of rock stars who have died at the age of 27, which includes Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Kurt Cobain, Brian Jones, and many others.
And speaking of "clubs," there is a special club (members only) at Disneyland named Club 33.  From what I have read, the name of this club was derived from the number of initial corporate sponsors for Disneyland at the time of its inception.   Apparently, though, there are other theories on the source of its name.



33 also holds the following distinctions:
33 is the atomic number of Arsenic.

33 is, according to the Newton Scale, the temperature at which water boils.

A normal human spine has 33 vertebrae (when the bones that form the coccyx are counted individually).
And in addition to the fact that Jesus Christ died at age 33, and the fact that Jesus performed 33 recorded miracles, the religious implications of the number 33 also include:

33 is not only a numerical representation of “the Star of David,” but it is also the numerical equivalent of the word AMEN:  1 + 13 + 5 + 14 = 33.

Pope John Paul I, the 33-day pope - one of the shortest reigns in papal history.

33 is the highest degree in the Scottish Rite of Freemasonry.
Of course, the number 3 itself has religious significance as the Trinity - Father, Son and Holy Ghost.  Although religious considerations have nothing to do with my fascination with the number 3 (or 33).

Another use of the number 33 that I find rather interesting is on the Rolling Rock beer label.   In searching for information on that use of 33, I discovered that 1933 is the year when prohibition was repealed.

And here's a link to a website called 33 Mysteries Facts.  Some interesting stuff on there.

Apparently 33 also has significance in Mathematics (being a composite number), as well as Astronomy (like the M33 Triangulum Galaxy), but since trying to outline those distinctions would be almost impossible for me (not a math or science whiz), I'll skip over those.

So what does this all mean?  Nothing, in most likelihood.  It is trivial information, obviously, but it's still fascinating... at least to me...

Monday, July 25, 2011

HOW SKEWED IS THE DOCTRINE - LDS Hymn Parody #33

Sometimes I feel like I've become like a broken record, and that people who read this blog just think, "yeah, yeah... lies, deception, contradictions, blah, blah, blah..."  Of course, I'm sure that is pretty close to what TBMs who come here think (because some have actually told me so).  In fact, one TBM who came on here told me, "...your claim to intelligent reasoning seems a tad flat. It seems that your reasoning and investigations have developed a partisan approach that many disenchanted Mormons frequently and unintentionally employ. Your flippant discourse is telling."  Like I responded to this person, I am not trying to be "flippant."  I just think people should use their brains and not rely on what others have told them to believe.  And as far as the label of "disenchanted Mormon" goes, I am an ExMormon, having worked my way through the arena of "disenchantment" many years ago, arriving at the point where I saw Mormonism for what it is and opted against being further associated with a supposed religious organization that plays so fast and loose with the truth.

The fact is that Mormon doctrine is filled with lies, and so is its depiction of its history.  Because of that, I think it is important for everyone to examine the history and doctrine more closely, and not to simply accept what it is they are told to believe.  You know, the Mormon Party Line.  Deciding things for yourself is very important as is critical thinking.  When a person accepts what is told to them rather than doing any research or investigation on their own, they are giving up their own power.  If they decide to accept something despite the problems, at least they know the problems and are making a conscoius decision.  After all, some people are able to work their way through the problems and issus to arrive at conclusions that are suitable for themselves despite all the gray areas.  Others (like me) are more into black-and-white thinking and require factual justification for what they believe.  On a couple of the discussion boards that I visit from time to time, I've been told that simply because there are lies laced through Mormonism, including its history, it doesn't mean that it isn't a legitimate religion because all religions are composed of lies.  I don't understand that logic, and I don't see how that makes the lies okay, but at least these people are thinking and not simply relying on what others have told them.

Of course, in my opinion, the most blatant example of relying simply on what a person is told is LDS missionaries.  True, some of them know the actual truth and preach the gospel in spite of it, either due to family/social pressures or the "gray area" thinking I spoke about above.  But there are many, many missionaries out there who do not know the actual history of the Mormon Church or its actual doctrines.  For instance, most do not know the actual truth behind polygamy, the fact that Joseph Smith had 33 wives, or the fact that polyandry was practiced by Joseph Smith, Brigham Young, Parley P. Pratt, and others (in that they married women who were already married to living husbands).  When faced with this fact, they say it didn't happen, and that polygamy started with Brigham Young on the Trek West to help widows and orphans (which is what I was told growing up and believed for way too long).  This false scenario came clearly into view one day when I went on http://www.mormon.org/ and visited the link to chat with missionaries.  During that visit, I chatted with a missionary named Elliott and asked him what could be the justification for polyandry being practiced - and he denied that it had ever been practiced.  When I told him that it is verified on the Mormon Church's own genealogy website, http://www.familysearch.org/, he asked me for a link.  And when I gave it to him, he disappeared for over 5 minutes and then came back and said he was going to have to get back to me about that. 

Elliott was obviously blind-sided - and I can understand that feeling because I bought the official Mormon version of polygamy for many years, until I began doing my own research and discovered the truth behind it all.   I'm sure that if I were to go back on the missionary chat line again and ask about the varying version of the First Vision, mentioning the fact that there are at least 9 different versions that were told at various times, that I would get the same type of answer - "that's simply not true, and if there are variations, it's only because these versions were told to different people at different times who remembered them differently."  Yes, that is what I was told for many years - and unfortunately, I bought that explanation until I began doing my own research on that topic as well as many others.

So my advice is this:  Do your own research.  Do not rely on what you are told.  And do not be a Mormon as depicted in the Book of Mormon Musical who "just believes" despite all the mounting evidence.

And in that vein, here is my latest hymn parody based (again) on this theme...

HOW SKEWED IS THE DOCTRINE
Sung to the tune of How Firm a Foundation, #85

How skewed is the doctrine presented as His Word,
And what Mormons preach is so patently absurd.
What more can I say than to you I have said,
Beware of the Mormons, beware of the Mormons,
Beware of the Mormons, and don’t be misled.


For most of my life, I adhered to what they taught,
But now, looking back, I can see that I was caught.
For I could not see that it’s simply not true.
The lies and deception, the lies and deception,
The lies and deception I finally saw through.


They’ll tell you that it is the one true church of God,
But if you look deeper, you’ll see that it’s a fraud.
Just look at the facts, and it all will be plain.
The truth is apparent, the truth is apparent,
The truth is apparent, no questions remain.


© Diane Tingen, 7/25/2011

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

DON'T ACCEPT IT - LDS Hymn Parody #32


Being led down the garden path is a very interesting (and descriptive) phrase.  In doing some research on its origin, I found the following two explanations for it:

First, from Cliche Web:

This may have its origin in the story of Adam and Eve in the Bible when Satan convinces them that it's okay to eat from the tree of knowledge. Obviously, they were deceived.

And second, from Wikitionary:

Verb
to lead someone down the garden path

(idiomatic) To deceive, hoodwink
'It was thought that the early origins of the idiom was founded on the tendency for one village to marry off their unsuccessful brides to unknowing bachelors. The superstition of the groom not being able to see his veiled bride until the marriage proclamation had been made was widely practiced. To that end the bride remained veiled throughout the ceremony. When the veil was lifted, the groom would learn that he had been married to a stranger. Many ceremonies took place in private gardens and as such the tendency to deceive with intent had evolved to the idiom of leading someone down the garden path.' 

Regardless of its origin, though, my strong feeling is that this phrase as it is used today (meaning misguided, misled and/or deceived) is very applicable to the Mormon Church in that they attempt to present a very different picture than what is true in reality.  For instance, when someone is "investigating" the church, taking the missionary lessons, there are many things that are never mentioned - such as the very sordid history of the church, the truth behind polygamy and polyandry, the way in which the Book of Mormon was supposedly translated, the actual facts surrounding what Mormons present as the religious martyrdom of its Founder and first Prophet Joseph Smith, the fact that there are at least 9 versions of the First Vision, the facts surrounding the Book of Abraham, etc., etc.  I won't go into detail about all of these matters here, but will refer you instead to the book I have written regarding my issues with Mormonism (which is included on this blog).

Although the Mormon Church paints an enticing picture of its religion, and holds itself out to be "the one and only true church on the face of the earth," the garden path of Mormonism is very definitely a dead-end street that is paved with lies, deception, and contradictions (IMO, of course).

And this is the theme of my latest hymn parody...

DON'T ACCEPT IT

Sung to the tune of Count Your Blessings, #241

When I was a Mormon, I believed it all,
Bought into each detail, whether big or small.
I was so compliant, never questioned it,
Till I finally saw what I could not admit.


(Chorus)

Don’t accept it all on what they say,
Don’t buy into all the games they play.
Don’t accept it, simply do the math,
Don’t just let them lead you down the garden path.


Mormonism’s founder, namely Joseph Smith,
Made up this religion, it’s just one big myth.
From the Book of Mormon to the D&C,
He created scriptures, it’s so plain to see.


(Chorus)
Don’t accept it all on what they say,
Don’t buy into all the games they play.
Don’t accept it, simply do the math,
Don’t just let them lead you down the garden path.


From the phony doctrines to the history,
Mormonism’s not what it purports to be.
So when I began to research on my own,
It began to seem just like the Twilight Zone.


(Chorus)
Mormonism is a web of lies,
True religion is its fake disguise.
Mormonism, don’t be taken in,
There’s deception underneath the lies they spin.


It is so apparent if you study it,
Just like it unraveled for me, bit by bit,
Look at every element objectively,
And you will be shocked by all the lies you see.


(Chorus)
Mormonism is a total fraud,
Many lies behind its slick façade.
Mormonism, quickly run away,
Don’t accept a single word of what they say.


© Diane Tingen, 7/20/2011

Friday, July 15, 2011

A MIGHTY PUZZLE WAS THE CHURCH - LDS Hymn Parody #31

Yes, from the time I was a teenager, the Mormon Church was a puzzle to me.  So much of it just didn't make sense, but the message I received was that if I had issues, then I just needed to pray more, study the scriptures more, and be more obedient - and then it would make sense to me.  And believe me, I tried.  I accepted the proposition that it wasn't the church, it was ME - that I was not worthy enough to understand it all.  But regardless of how much confusion I felt, I kept plugging along, believing that if I just hung in there, one day it would all make sense.  Never happened.

When I began studying church history in preparation for going on a Mormon Church History Tour in the Summer of 2001, I immediately began to discover that there are all kinds of sordid details in Mormon Church History.  Naturally, my original reaction was disbelief - I must be misunderstanding something because these things couldn't have possibly taken place.  And then, when I came to terms with the fact that these were true accounts of what had occurred back then and all the lies laced throughout Mormon Church history and doctrine, I began to kick myself for not researching this earlier, for just going along and accepting it all without doing my own actual research.  In my opinion, this is one of the biggest problems with the Mormon Church - encouraging people to accept everything they are told and highly discouraging them from delving any deeper on their own.  Blind faith rather than actual reasoning or critical thinking.  Of course, since the church gives people the message that going ouside the "authorized areas" is a big No-No, it creates the type of situation where people "just believe."  But just believing based solely on what a person is told is not wise.  But that's what most Mormons do and seem to be just fine with it.

I am so glad that the Mormon Church is not a puzzle to me anymore.  I am very grateful that I finally broke the mold and began to research outside the "accepted parameters."  Of course, when I discovered that one of the characteristics of a cult is highly discouraging its members from researching outside what they have outlined as "accepted reading," I began to see the Mormon Church in a much different light.  Little did I know, all those years ago, when people told me that the Mormon Church was a cult, and I disagreed, becoming very annoyed that my church was being put in that highly offensive category, that they were actually right.  Live and learn.

And so, here is my latest hymn parody...

A MIGHTY PUZZLE WAS THE CHURCH
Sung to the tune of A Mighty Fortress is our God, #68

A mighty puzzle was the church,
For many years, I struggled.
No matter what I read or heard,
So many issues lingered.
And so, through my research,
I found the Mormon Church
Is filled with many lies,
And so I must surmise
That Joseph Smith just made it up.


So when I left the Mormon Church,
Enormous burdens lifted.
The puzzle had been solved at last,
And all confusion ended.
Where I was once devout,
I simply have no doubt
That it is just a ruse
For which there’s no excuse,
Religious cult that’s full of lies.


Apostates seek to know the truth,
And see behind the curtain.
They don’t accept what they are told,
They want to know for certain.
They see through the façade,
Believe that it’s a fraud,
Reject what is not true
With an objective view,
And aren’t afraid to speak the truth.


It was not easy when I left,
With family members active.
But though they may not understand,
The truth is my one motive.
For once I saw the lies,
There was no compromise.
I knew that if I stayed,
It would be a charade,
And now I live authentically.


© Diane Tingen, 7/15/2011


So many Mormons just stand there, staring at the missing puzzle piece,
not allowing themselves to take the leap and do their own research.
I will be forever grateful that I finally took that leap...

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

COME, FOLLOW ME - LDS Hymn Parody #30


Here is another LDS hymn parody - this one to the tune of Come, Follow Me, #116.  In doing research about this hymn, I discovered that the author of the lyrics (as shown in the LDS hymn book) was a Mormon man named John Nicholson (1839-1909), and the composer of the music itself was Samuel McBurney (1847-1909), who was NOT a Mormon.  Naturally that puzzled me, so I looked for more history of the hymn, especially because I was intrigued by the idea of a non-Mormon writing music for a Mormon hymn.  I thought perhaps that this hymn was originally a Protestant hymn and was then revised to be a Mormon hymn, but I haven't been able to find any sources regarding its background or history so far.


I find the second verse of this hymn to be particularly interesting, especially since discovering THE REAL TRUTH about Mormonism.

"Come Follow Me," a simple phrase,
Yet truth's sublime, effulgent rays,
Are in these simple words combined
To urge, inspire the human mind.

THE TRUTH.  An interesting concept.  Since discovering THE REAL TRUTH about Mormonism, I find it ironic that the Mormon Church holds its gospel and doctrine out as THE TRUTH when in actuality they play very fast and loose with the concept of TRUTH.  From lies and cover-ups about its history to deception and contradictions about its doctrines, the concept of TRUTH takes a beating in the Mormon Church.  Of course, if you buy into Mormonism, then you believe that the Mormon Church is the "one and only true church on the face of the earth," and that no other religion can provide you with salvation in the highest degree of the Celestial Kingdom.  Of course, in my opinion, when a person digs deeper than what they are told to believe ala Mormonism, they discover THE REAL TRUTH, which is that Mormonism is an enormous pile of lies, deception, cover-ups, and contradictions - and that it was a hoax from the get-go.

Of course, the most important part of "following" in the Mormon Church is the admonition to Follow the Prophet.  And always remember - When the Prophet speaks, the thinking is done.

So here is my version of this hymn...

COME, FOLLOW ME

“Come, follow me,” the Mormon said,
And just believe what you are fed.
Though it may seem a bit absurd,
It is the truth, just take our word.

Though you may find opposing views,
And you may want to look at clues,
Just follow us and you will find
That you won’t need to use your mind.

And just avoid the internet,
Why get yourself at all upset?
When you can now accept it all,
Don’t bang your head against a wall.

All that you need is in your heart,
Feelings you’ve had right from the start.
Your bosom burns, that’s all you need,
That is your test, your proof indeed.


So when you’re told it is a hoax,
And when you hear the endless jokes,
Do not give in, and just stand firm,
And do not let them see you squirm.

© Diane Tingen, 7/13/2011


Obviously what Mormons should be saying is...

Monday, July 11, 2011

FAMILIES ARE SO IMPORTANT - LDS Hymn Parody #29


Mormon Temple Wedding Policy Petition
One of the things that seems to be commented on a great deal when discussing the Mormon Church is how family-oriented it is.   That aspect of families being so important is one of the things that makes the Mormon Church stand out, and although I don't believe that the church is true anymore, I still acknowledge that part of its uniqueness.  Because of that reputation of being family-oriented, I feel that the Mormon Church should be very careful with the way in which that message is given to the world, especially since it is obvious that the Mormon Church wants to be accepted as Christian by the Christian community.  If the Mormon Church truly wants to be known for being family-oriented, then I feel that it should acquiesce and change its policy about how weddings are performed within the church.   By allowing civil unions prior to sealings in Mormon Temples, they would exhibit Christian attitudes and show that really care about keeping families together.  That, in my opinion, would go a long way to cementing that "family image" in people's minds. 

So here is another hymn parody that I have written in support of the Mormon Temple Wedding Policy Petition.  Isn't it about time?

FAMILIES ARE SO IMPORTANT
Sung to the tune of As I Search the Holy Scriptures, #277

Families are so important,
By the Mormon Church defined
As eternally connected,
Ever with their lives entwined.


Temple wedding ceremonies
Should include the families
Even if they’re not all Mormon,
Please remove the boundaries.


Just allowing civil unions
To take place before they’re sealed
In a Mormon Temple wedding
Would consideration yield.


Far too many are excluded,
It is time for compromise.
Changing things to show compassion
Would go far in people’s eyes.


© Diane Tingen, 7/11/2011

Friday, July 8, 2011

I AM A CHILD OF GOD - LDS Hymn Parody #28

Such a nice picture.  Although I consider myself an Agnostic now, I still acknowledge the fact that pictures like this one give people a sense of comfort.  After all, believing in God or a higher power of some sort is very reassuring.  The idea that God is watching over you, and that He is there to answer your prayers, is a very comforting thought.

Unfortunately, though, there is the possibility that whatever comfort is received from believing in God or a higher power may be coming from a false sense of security - because although there are a lot of Christians in the world, as well as many other religions who have a belief in a higher power, that doesn't mean that what they believe is absolutely true. 

After leaving Mormonism, I began to consider the possibility that there may not be a God at all.  Of course, I want there to be a God, someone watching over me, the promise of an Afterlife where I will see and be with my loved ones.  But my wanting that to be the case doesn't make it so.  The reality is that there is a possibility that God does not exist.  It may be that when we die, that is it.  But does that make any difference in the long run?  In some ways, thinking this way has helped me to live life more fully, to consider the fact that since this life may be all there is, I should be doing all I can every day to make my life more fulfilling and this world a better place.

And with those thoughts in mind, I wrote this hymn parody. 

I AM A CHILD OF GOD

I am a child of God,
Or so the Christians say.
But I don’t know if God exists,
They say I’ve gone astray.

(Chorus)
Reasoning has got me thinking,
Questioning it all.
Blindly just accepting it,
For that, I will not fall.

Am I a child of God?
The query gives me pause.
There’s nothing wrong with questioning
Religion and its flaws.

(Chorus)
Reasoning, not just accepting
Everything that’s said.
Going down the garden path,
I’ll use my brain instead.

So if there’s not a God,
No higher power there.
Would knowing that destroy your life
And fill you with despair?

(Chorus)
Reasoning and analyzing,
Thinking on my own.
Not believing what I’m told,
I will not be a clone.


I am a woman first,
On me I can rely.
So whether there’s a God or not,
Myself I can’t deny.

(Chorus)
Reasoning, no blind acceptance,
Not belief by force.
Using my free agency,
The best and safest course.

© Diane Tingen, 7/8/2011

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

MORMON TEMPLE WEDDING POLICY PETITION and Related LDS Hymn Parodies #26 and #27

I recently got an email from a lovely lady named Jean Bodie who has become a follower of my blogs, especially in connection with my hymn parodies.  I first met Jean at the ExMormon Foundation Conference in October 2010 where she gave a wonderful talk entitled Good Works in a Post-Mormon World.  Even though I didn't get to know her very well then, I felt an immediate kinship with her as a ExMormon woman.  Since then, though, we have become Facebook friends and have exchanged several messages that have further cemented my opinion of her, and I now consider her a very good friend IRL.  I admire Jean's courage and conviction despite the struggles she has encountered since leaving Mormonism as illustrated very vividly in this video posted on YouTube (from the I Am an ExMormon website).  Jean currently serves as the Secretary of the ExMormon Foundation, and is involved in working on this petition as well as many other worthwhile activities.

In the recent email I received from Jean, she asked if I would write two hymn parodies highlighting the issues that are addressed in the Mormon Temple Wedding Policy Petition which seeks to change the policy of the Mormon Church requiring people who decide to first have civil weddings to wait for a year before they are allowed to have their Temple weddings.  She told me that she wanted to use these hymn parodies in varoius ways to support the petition, including possibly being sung publicly during the time when the petition will be delivered to Mormon Church leaders in October 2011.  In communicating with Jean about this (and reading the information contained on the petition website), I began to see that this is an important issue and a compromise that the Mormon Church should make - and since it became so obvious to me that this policy is unfair to non-members and others who cannot attend temple weddings, I agreed to write the hymn parodies.  Because Jean gave me the inspiration for these hymn parodies and provided various possible lyrics to me (some of which I used), I have given her credit on these hymn parodies as well. 

Of note, of course, is the fact that in countries other than the United States, this policy does not apply.  In such countries as Latin America and throughout Europe, people are allowed to be married civilly first and then soon after that to be sealed in a Mormon Temple.  Why should the United States and Canada be any different?  After all, from what I have been able to ascertain, there is no doctrinal backup for this tenuous position taken by the Mormon Church.  In short, it is exclusionary and discriminatory against those who are not members of the Mormon Church or who do not have recommends enabling them to enter Mormon Temples.

While discussing the issues surrounding this petition with Jean by email, and commenting that sometimes when something doesn't directly affect people, some tend to shrug it off, Jean very eloquently replied as follows: 
"As you said, if something doesn’t directly affect people they can just shrug it off.  We have to make people realize that it really DOES affect them; it can affect anyone – children, non-endowed members, non-tithe paying members, ‘unworthy’ members, and Ex-Members. Then it can affect anyone who is not a Mormon and that is the majority of people in the world. Why the heck are they building temples all over the world when so few people can enter? The temples are the brainwashing centers of the cult. It is so obvious from what goes on inside and all the Masonic symbols on the buildings, even the new ones. If it wasn’t part of their brainwashing/occult stuff, wouldn’t you think that now with all the negative publicity that they would be leaving out those Masonic symbols?"
"We also need Mormons to understand that we are not trying to take away their right to be married in the temple, if that is their choice, and that we are not asking for all the above who are excluded to be allowed in their temples. It is just a case of removing the penalty; there is just no need for it except as a means of control – get the couple into the closest brainwashing center to make those scary covenants so that they have them by the short hairs."
I hope that you will take the time to consider this important issue and visit the website dedicated to the Mormon Temple Wedding Policy Petition - and if you are so inclined, that you will sign it.  It is only through making issues heard that they are ever changed.  Indeed, the old adage that says "The squeaky wheel gets the grease" is very true.

Below are the two hymn parodies on this issue.  As a note, these hymn parodies were written from a Christian point of view even though I consider myself an Agnostic now.  But it seems rather obvious to me that this is a universal issue, regardless of a person's religious affiliations or inclinations, and it is one that needs to be addressed.

I SIT OUTSIDE THE TEMPLE 
Sung to the tune of I Love to See the Temple, #95

I sit outside the temple,
My daughter’s getting wed.
I long to be there with her,
To hear their vows be said.
But I can’t go in this house of God,
A place where few can enter,
Even though I worship Jesus Christ,
Oh yes, he is my Savior.


I know the path she’s chosen,
But such a special day,
Should not be so exclusive,
This is the price I pay
For not worshipping the way she does,
Since I am not a Mormon,
But if there was just some other way
That felt much more like heaven.


The temple’s very sacred
To Mormons everywhere,
But weddings without families
Seems totally unfair.
But I sit outside the temple now,
And think about the wedding,
Trying hard to wait here patiently,
Although my heart is aching.


If only they would hear me,
And change the way it’s done,
Allow a civil wedding
And then the temple one.
They would help keep families unified
Although they are not Mormon,
And if they would make this compromise,
They’d show that they are Christian.


© Diane Tingen and Jean Bodie, 7/4/2011


FAMILIES CAN BE TOGETHER FOREVER 
LDS Hymn Book, #300

I have a family here on earth,
They are so dear to me,
But they believe that I won’t be
With them eternally.

(Chorus)
Families can be together forever
In Christianity.
Though Mormons all believe
The doctrines they receive,
Yet I know the Lord still loves me, too,
I know the Lord still loves me, too.

I have a daughter and a son,
So special and unique.
But when they marry, I won’t hear
The vows that they will speak.

(Chorus)
Families can be together forever,
As Mormons testify.
But there’s a cruel ban,
Through Mormonism’s plan,
So I won't be able to attend
Because the Mormon Church won't bend.

© Diane Tingen and Jean Bodie, 7/5/2011

Monday, July 4, 2011

THE MORMONS WON'T OPEN THEIR EYES - LDS Hymn Parody #25

The hymn Before Thee, Lord, I Bow My Head reminds me of singing in my Ward Choir, growing up in Fresno, California. My mother was the Choir Director for several years when I was growing up, and I started singing in the Choir when I was only 12 years old.  My mother really liked to sing this particular hymn, probably because of the way it is arranged with the women singing first, and then the men repeating the lines.  So this hymn brings back some very good memories of my mother (who passed away in 1977 when I was only 25 years old).

My parody of this hymn highlights (again) the fact that Mormons (IMO) need to open their eyes and realize that the religion to which they adhere is built on a huge stack of lies. To me, that realization was a deal-breaker. Interestingly, some active Mormons (on various discussion boards) have actually asked me that since all religions have lies laced throughout them, why should Mormonism be any different? And I have replied that although that may be true, that doesn't make the lies acceptable, in any form. To me, accepting lies as the basis for a religion is rationalization at its core. Of course, the apologetic-type websites are the epitome of this mindset. If the Mormon Church is indeed the "one and only true church on the face of the earth," then why does it need so many Mormon Apologists out there? -- such as FAIR (Foundation for Apologetic Information and Research - http://www.fairlds.org) and FARMS (Foundation for Ancient Research and Mormon Studies - http://maxwellinstitute.byu.edu/). It just doesn't make sense to me. And one question seems to remain - if what the Prophet says is the bottom line ("When the Prophet speaks, the debate is over"), then shouldn't that be the only basis needed for belief? Not for me, of course, but for all the TBMs out there...

THE MORMONS WON'T OPEN THEIR EYES
Sung to the tune of Before Thee, Lord, I Bow My Head, #158

The Mormons won't open their eyes,
Though it's not true, no big surprise.
They just believe no matter what,
But in a web of lies they're caught.
Right from the start, it was a ruse.
Why can’t they see there’s no excuse
For the deceit and what they say,
All of the games the Mormons play.


Their Prophet dear named Joseph Smith
Created it, just one big myth.
The Mormon Church is just a fraud,
It’s not inspired, not Word of God.
What happened to integrity?
Why all the lies, dishonesty?
They work to dupe the ones they can,
A horrible, destructive plan.


All negatives they simply hide,
Actual truth, they can’t abide.
Don’t listen to the evidence,
Cause after all, it might make sense.
Believe by faith, and do not stray.
Free agency given away.
Obey it all, let’s get it straight,
The Prophet speaks, no more debate.


And so I try to make them see
The many lies so clear to me
Though it is hard to talk to them
When what I say they just condemn.
Why don’t they think and use their brains?
Simply content to stay in chains.
Their minds are numb, don’t need a sign,
All Mormons walk the party line.


© Diane Tingen, 7/4/2011

Friday, July 1, 2011

AND THE MORMONS JUST BELIEVE - LDS Hymn Parody #24

JUST BELIEVE.  Ah yes, that's what Mormons do, with almost a child-like naiveté.  They don't seem to care what evidence there is against their beliefs being true - they "just believe" anyway.

The tendency to "just believe" no matter what seems to be embedded in Mormons everywhere, and is (very cleverly) highlighted in a song entitled I Believe from the Book of Mormon Musical.  One of my favorite parts of that song is, "I am a Mormon, and dang it, a Mormon just believes."  IMO, that sums up the Mormon mindset, very succintly.

Another part of that song says, "Now I must be completely devout, I can't have even one shred of doubt."  Of course, that statement is true of Mormons as well - and I think that's one of the major causes of their rigidness.  If they have "even one shred of doubt," they seem to become even more immovable and inflexible, as though they are convinced that if they voice their concerns and doubts, then they will be struck down.  Personally, I think it's very important to be able to voice your concerns and doubts, and have someone reason through your questions with you.  My father, on the other hand, was a very dogmatic, pious Mormon who "just believed."  And when I would voice my concerns and doubts to him, he would tell me "not to feel that way" and to "just believe."  That seemed to be his reply for many things, and those types of responses were always very frustrating for me.

So the below hymn parody is my take on the Mormon tendency to simply "just believe," and I think it is very apropos set to the tune of Put Your Shoulder to the Wheel...


AND THE MORMONS JUST BELIEVE
Sung to the tune of Put Your Shoulder to the Wheel, #252
The church is full of mindless sheep,
Who seem to be naïve.
They simply do as they are told,
And the Mormons just believe.
(Chorus)
Yes, the Mormons just believe, it is true.
They are told the things to say and to do.
They all conform, it is the norm,
And the Mormons just believe.
The world outside may pressure them,
As they try to deceive.
But faithfully, they look away,
Yes, the Mormons just believe.
(Chorus)
And the Mormons just believe all the lies,
As they close their minds to truth in disguise.
It is a crock, that’s not a shock,
But the Mormons just believe.
With heart and soul, they follow close
All counsel they receive.
They’re told to jump, they ask how high,
Yes, the Mormons just believe.
(Chorus)
And the Mormons just believe what they’re told,
Though it’s obvious the lies they are sold.
No matter what, their mouths are shut,
For the Mormons just believe.
The web of lies is very clear,
But they cannot conceive
That all of it was just made up,
No, the Mormons just believe.
(Chorus)
And the Mormons just believe through it all,
Though it’s written very clear on the wall,
A pile of shit, it’s not legit,
But the Mormons just believe.
© Diane Tingen, 7/1/2011


In my opinion, this is a much better idea...