OH, HOW STUPID IS THE STORY - LDS Hymn Parody #3

Well, I've realized something... or rather, something has been confirmed.  And that is that I have a one-track mind, and am more than just a little OCD.  Once I start a project, I can't seem to put it down until it's finished.  Of course, I already knew this.  That has been the story of my life.  It's like when I began to discover that Mormonism is actually a fraud created by a con artist named Joseph Smith.  Bit by bit, I uncovered the pieces to the puzzle, and I couldn't stop until the entire puzzle was put together and framed. 

So it's really no surprise to me that after finishing one of these hymn parodies, my mind starts churning out another one.  Here is my latest addition to the ExMormon Hymn Book.

OH, HOW STUPID IS THE STORY

Sung to the tune of Joseph Smith’s First Prayer, #26

(formerly Oh, How Lovely was the Morning)

Oh, how stupid is the story
That they want me to believe.
And although I used to buy it,
I am no longer that naïve.
When I read about the history,
I could see how they deceive.
When I read about the history,
I could see how they deceive.

Being born and raised a Mormon,
I believed what I was told.
And I had a testimony,
Like about the plates of gold.
But confusion made me struggle
Till I saw it all unfold.
But confusion made me struggle
Till I saw it all unfold.

And the moment that it hit me,
I began to see the light,
And I knew with all my being
That the whole thing just wasn’t right.
I’d been duped, and I was livid,
I could feel my rage ignite.
I’d been duped, and I was livid,
I could feel my rage ignite.

Since escaping Mormonism,
And the messages they sent,
It’s so great without the feeling
That I’ve sinned and must repent.
Without always feeling guilty,
And the endless pure torment.
Without always feeling guilty,
And the endless pure torment.

Looking back, I still am livid,
7 years have come and gone.
But my interest in the quandary
Seems to linger on and on.
And perhaps the fascination
Will one day become a yawn,
And perhaps the fascination
Will one day become a yawn.

© Diane Tingen, 5/27/2011

Since the above hymn parody is based on Joseph Smith's First Prayer, Hymn #26 (fka "Oh, How Lovely Was the Morning"), I thought it was appropriate to include a couple of pictures of this "great event."  Of course, since there are at least 9 versions of the First Vision, the likelihood of it actually having happened are, in my opinion, slim to none.

This is a rendering of Joseph Smith walking in the Sacred Grove, presumably prior to receiving the First Vision.

And here is a picture depicting the actual First Vision... or rather, the 9th version of the First Vision, which is the "official" one used by the Mormon Church today.

What a bunch of malarkey.