DON'T ACCEPT IT - LDS Hymn Parody #32

Being led down the garden path is a very interesting (and descriptive) phrase.  In doing some research on its origin, I found the following two explanations for it:

First, from Cliche Web:

This may have its origin in the story of Adam and Eve in the Bible when Satan convinces them that it's okay to eat from the tree of knowledge. Obviously, they were deceived.

And second, from Wikitionary:

Verb

to lead someone down the garden path

(idiomatic) To deceive, hoodwink

'It was thought that the early origins of the idiom was founded on the tendency for one village to marry off their unsuccessful brides to unknowing bachelors. The superstition of the groom not being able to see his veiled bride until the marriage proclamation had been made was widely practiced. To that end the bride remained veiled throughout the ceremony. When the veil was lifted, the groom would learn that he had been married to a stranger. Many ceremonies took place in private gardens and as such the tendency to deceive with intent had evolved to the idiom of leading someone down the garden path.' 

Regardless of its origin, though, my strong feeling is that this phrase as it is used today (meaning misguided, misled and/or deceived) is very applicable to the Mormon Church in that they attempt to present a very different picture than what is true in reality.  For instance, when someone is "investigating" the church, taking the missionary lessons, there are many things that are never mentioned - such as the very sordid history of the church, the truth behind polygamy and polyandry, the way in which the Book of Mormon was supposedly translated, the actual facts surrounding what Mormons present as the religious martyrdom of its Founder and first Prophet Joseph Smith, the fact that there are at least 9 versions of the First Vision, the facts surrounding the Book of Abraham, etc., etc.  I won't go into detail about all of these matters here, but will refer you instead to the book I have written regarding my issues with Mormonism (which is included on this blog).

Although the Mormon Church paints an enticing picture of its religion, and holds itself out to be "the one and only true church on the face of the earth," the garden path of Mormonism is very definitely a dead-end street that is paved with lies, deception, and contradictions (IMO, of course).

And this is the theme of my latest hymn parody...

DON'T ACCEPT IT
Sung to the tune of Count Your Blessings, #241

When I was a Mormon, I believed it all,
Bought into each detail, whether big or small.
I was so compliant, never questioned it,
Till I finally saw what I could not admit.

(Chorus)

Don’t accept it all on what they say,
Don’t buy into all the games they play.
Don’t accept it, simply do the math,
Don’t just let them lead you down the garden path.

Mormonism’s founder, namely Joseph Smith,
Made up this religion, it’s just one big myth.
From the Book of Mormon to the D&C,
He created scriptures, it’s so plain to see.

(Chorus)

Don’t accept it all on what they say,
Don’t buy into all the games they play.
Don’t accept it, simply do the math,
Don’t just let them lead you down the garden path.

From the phony doctrines to the history,
Mormonism’s not what it purports to be.
So when I began to research on my own,
It began to seem just like the Twilight Zone.

(Chorus)

Mormonism is a web of lies,
True religion is its fake disguise.
Mormonism, don’t be taken in,
There’s deception underneath the lies they spin.

It is so apparent if you study it,
Just like it unraveled for me, bit by bit,
Look at every element objectively,
And you will be shocked by all the lies you see.

(Chorus)

Mormonism is a total fraud,
Many lies behind its slick façade.
Mormonism, quickly run away,
Don’t accept a single word of what they say.

© Diane Tingen, 7/20/2011

DID YOU STOP TO THINK? LDS Hymn Parody #23

Another LDS Hymn Parody.  This one is set to Did You Think to Pray, #140, and highlights what happens when people simply attempt to shelve their doubts and try to be faithful in spite of all of the questions that are mounting in their brains.  My reaction to that situation was to simply put all my issues on a shelf and pretend they weren't there - to keep moving forward in the Mormon mindset without really analyzing or examining any of it in any detail.  For a very long time, I truly believed and followed the admonition that says, "When the Prophet speaks, the debate is over."  Not a wise move on my part at all.

When I finally did begin to do my own independent research, I was 50 years old and preparing to go on a Mormon Church History Tour.  I wasn't looking for anything to latch onto to fuel my impending apostasy, but rather simply wanted to know more about church history so I would be more versed when we visited the key places.  Boy, was that an eye-opener!  The more and more I read, the more I became convinced that it was a hoax from the very beginning, and that since then, the Church leaders have worked hard to perpetuate the fraud.

I will say that there had been things over the years that had bothered me.  And that is where my shelf came in handy.  Sticking those issues on that shelf and then trying to pretend they didn't exist did work for quite a while.  But once I added all the information about Mormon Church history to the pile, it began to fall.  For a while, I tried to hold it up and keep it all intact, thinking that perhaps I was misunderstanding it all - that if I prayed more, studied more, and tried to be even more faithful, that I would come to understand where my conclusions had gone wrong.  But in the end, that didn't work and the shelf came tumbling down completely.

Of course, TBMs (true, believing Mormons) don't agree with my views - and that is their prerogative.  But I truly hope that what I am presenting here will help them to open up their eyes and at least do some independent research so they will know what is contained in Mormon Church history and what its real doctrines entail.  Until a person does that, they cannot "know beyond a shadow of a doubt" (as so many Mormons say in bearing their testimonies) that what they are adhering to religiously is the Word of God - or that the LDS Church truly is the "one and only true church on the face of the earth." 

DID YOU STOP TO THINK?
Sung to Did You Think to Pray? #140
(aka Ere You Left Your Room this Morning)

When you read the Book of Mormon,
Did you stop to think?
Did you see anachronisms,
And the many contradictions,
Clearly out of sync?

(Chorus)
Oh, how thinking makes us stronger,
We must always sort it out.
So when questions keep arising,
Do not squelch your doubt.

When you heard about church history,
Did you stop to think?
Did you read yourself and study,
Not accepting every story
Each and every kink?

(Chorus)
Oh, how thinking makes us stronger,
We must always sort it out.
So when questions keep arising,
Do not squelch your doubt.

When you listened to the Prophet,
Did you stop to think?
When you heard what he professes,
Did you give up your own choices,
And completely shrink?

(Chorus)
Oh, how thinking makes us stronger,
We must always sort it out.
So when questions keep arising,
Do not squelch your doubt.

When your brain began to whisper,
"You should stop to think,"
Did you simply shelve the problems,
Watching them turn into volumes,
Closer to the brink?

(Chorus)
Oh, how thinking makes us stronger,
We must always sort it out.
So when questions keep arising,
Do not squelch your doubt.

When your doubts began to fester,
Did you stop to think?
Did you go into denial,
Trying hard to just be faithful,
And the Kool-Aid drink?

(Chorus)
Oh, how thinking makes us stronger,
We must always sort it out.
So when questions keep arising,
Do not squelch your doubt.

© Diane Tingen, 6/28/2011

OH, WHY DID I BELIEVE IT? LDS Hymn Parody #19

Questions.  So many questions.

Looking for the answers...

And when I finally found those answers, it was like a light bulb going off in my head.

The ultimate AHA moment.

Of course, once I realized that the answers I was looking for were that the Mormon Church is a scam and a fraud, I began to ask myself why I had believed it for so long.  I'm sure part of the answer to that question is the fact that I was essentially born and raised Mormon.  My parents were baptized when I was a baby, so I was programmed from a very early age.   And when it comes right down to it, I'm sure there's a huge amount of brainwashing involved.  Otherwise, why would people adhere to such bizarre beliefs?  Such as believing that Joseph Smith is a Prophet of God, and that he translated the Book of Mormon and the Book of Abraham when there is so much evidence indicating that both are elaborate frauds, harvested either from the very vivid imagination of Joseph Smith and/or plagiarized (and very possibly a combination of both).  None of it makes any sense.  Applying common sense to the equation puts it into the realm of fantasy.  And yet, people believe it.  Including me, for a very long time.  Until I researched and studied independently, on my own, away from the "authorized areas."  That's when I discovered the actual truth, and began to feel very betrayed.  To put it plainly, I had been duped.

So that is the premise of my latest hymn parody.

OH, WHY DID I BELIEVE IT?

Sung to the tune of O God, the Eternal Father, #175

Oh, why did I believe it?
It really makes no sense.
And when I stopped to question,
That’s when I took offense
For all the years I suffered
In silence, fear and dread.
The Mormonism drivel
Was not just in my head.

The fact that I discovered
That lies are laced throughout
Its teachings, so deceptive,
Of that, I have no doubt.
If only I had researched
And read more on my own,
I would have found out sooner,
And not felt so alone.

Oh, why did I believe it?
Completely full of lies.
And with the lies uncovered,
There was no compromise.
This obvious deception
Cannot be merely veiled,
My eyes are finally open,
The camouflage has failed.

Oh, why did I believe it
When it is clearly skewed?
The contradictions blatant,
What else could I conclude?
I’ve gone from disenchanted
To some place far beyond,
Much more than disillusioned,
The truth for me has dawned.

But when I finally saw it,
I really felt betrayed,
The fact that I’d been living
Amid this big charade.
The light bulb shining brightly,
I finally knew the truth.
But I was very bitter
That it absorbed my youth.

The bitterness is gone now,
I’m going on with life.
The future’s looking brighter
Without the pain and strife
That Mormonism garnered
Within my heart and soul,
And though I greatly struggled,

I’m finally feeling whole.

© Diane Tingen, 6/21/2011

Oh, now I get it...

CLING TO THE LIES - LDS Hymn Parody #12

My latest hymn parody and addition to the ExMormon Hymn Book is The Iron Rod, #274.

Of course, the words to the original hymn are uniquely Mormon in that they speak of Lehi's dream (and/or vision) from the Book of Mormon.  See 1 Nephi, Chapter 8.


In 1 Nephi 8:2, it says:

And it came to pass that while my father tarried in the wilderness he spake unto us, saying: Behold, I have dreamed a dream; or, in other words, I have seen a vision.

In that dream and/or vision, Lehi saw "a rod of iron, a strait and narrow path, and the mists of darkness that enshroud men" (taken from the description at the beginning of 1 Nephi, Chapter 8).  As the original hymn says, the iron rod is the Word of  God, and "holding fast to the iron rod" means staying firmly and steadfastly on the path that leads to Eternal Life.

Naturally, the Iron Rod has become somewhat of a "catch phrase" in Mormonism.  IMO, creating those types of easily identifiable phrases is a way of grabbing people and capturing their minds.  And Joseph Smith seemed to have been very good at that methodology.  He created a web that snags people and keeps them from thinking on their own, just going along with what they are told.  It's not until they gain the ability to actually think for themselves, on their own, that they gain the strength to actually leave and start living an authentic life.

So here is my hymn parody of The Iron Rod, #274.  Interestingly, I got the idea of "revising" this hymn from a comment someone made on Facebook - but the version suggested by that person is for a different venue, one more erotic in nature... if you get my drift...

CLING TO THE LIES
Sung to the tune of The Iron Rod, #274

To Mormons who believe the lies,
It simply blows my mind.
How can you buy it down the line?
I know that you’re not blind.

(Chorus)

Cling to the lies, the blatant lies,
And you won’t see what’s true.
The blatant lies will be your demise,
Deceit has a hold on you.

Deception laced throughout it all,
It’s very clear to see.
But if you simply close your eyes,
Then just a sheep you’ll be.

(Chorus)

Cling to the lies, the blatant lies,
And you won’t see what’s true.
The blatant lies will be your demise,
Deceit has a hold on you.

Just question all of what they say,
And research on your own.
Please don’t accept it mindlessly,
Don’t be a Mormon clone.

(Chorus)

Run from the lies, the blatant lies,
Please look  for what is true.
The blatant lies are no surprise
When truth is brought into view.

© Diane Tingen, 6/9/2011

Depiction of Lehi's Dream from Book of Mormon
(1 Nephi, Chapter 8)

CALLED TO DUPE - LDS Hymn Parody #11

Still pursuing my quest for adding to the ever-expanding ExMormon Hymn Book... and in that vein, I was looking through the LDS Hymn Book and came across Called to Serve, #249.  Of course, this hymn is essentially an anthem for missionary work, for spreading the gospel of Mormonism far and wide, to the ends of the earth. Although I used to admire Mormon missionaries who at 19 years of age give up two years of their lives to teach the gospel, now I look on these poor young men as victims of a religion that is spreading lies and deception.

An extremely sad part of that scenario is the fact that so many of these young men do not want to go on missions but are forced into going by their parents who "expect" them to go, and by a Mormon community that will be less than understanding if they choose not to go.  Naturally, many of them give in and go on missions to keep their parents happy and to avoid suffering the consequences that they know full-well will be heaped upon them throughout their lives.  For a religion that supposedly preaches Free Agency, no choice within Mormonism is actually an actual decision without consequences.

More and more, it seems that many young men are going on missions and discovering the truth behind the Mormon Curtain while they are in the mission field.  Many come home after their missions and leave the church because they have, for the first time, realized that Mormonism is laced with so many lies that it becomes apparent that it couldn't possibly be true.  Of course, this is what happens when anyone who really wants to know the truth actually researches on their own.  This is what happened to me, leading me away from the Mormon Church - and this is what happens to many others.

And so, here is my hymn parody of Called to Serve, #249.  My version is a tribute to all those who spread the lies and pull the wool over the eyes of their fellowmen, thereby perpetuating the ruse that Joseph Smith began in 1830 when he founded the Mormon Church.

CALLED TO DUPE

Sung to the tune of Called to Serve, #249

1.  Called to dupe them,
We must spread the message,
Chosen to perpetuate the lies.
Far and wide we tell of Mormonism,
But deceit we can’t disguise.

(Chorus)

Bullshit, give them bullshit,
As we spread the gospel word.
Bullshit, give them bullshit,
Though we know that it’s absurd.
Stupid, it is stupid,
But they won’t expect a thing,
Yes, it’s asinine, but they’ll be clueless
To the crap we bring.

2.  Called to con them,
Just like Prophet Joseph,
He created an enormous joke.
Snagging people, telling them malarkey,
Lies with every word he spoke.

(Chorus)

Bullshit, give them bullshit,
As we spread the gospel turd.
Bullshit, give them bullshit,
Though we know that it’s absurd.
Stupid, it is stupid,
But they won’t expect a thing,
Yes, it’s asinine, but they’ll be clueless
To the crap we bring.

3.  We believe it,
Why can’t all the others
Go along with everything we say?
Though they question, we must keep on hiding
All the lies in every way.

(Chorus)

Bullshit, give them bullshit,
As we spread the gospel turd.
Bullshit, give them bullshit,
Though we know that it’s absurd.
Stupid, it is stupid,
But they won’t expect a thing,
Yes, it’s asinine, but they’ll be clueless
To the crap we bring.

© Diane Tingen, 6/8/2011

Of course, the other thing that missionary work brings to mind for me right now is the Book of Mormon Musical which is now playing on Broadway...

 

Just looking at this picture showing it playing at the Eugene O'Neill Theatre just cracks me up!!  So awesome!!  And of course, the fact that is has gotten 14 Tony Award nominations, including Best Musical, is simply amazing!!  Maybe it will win.  I'm sure the suits in SLC would love that!!  We'll find out on Sunday, June 13...

I really want to go to New York City to see it!!

Definitely gotta plan a trip!!

DEAREST MORMONS, DON'T BELIEVE IT - LDS Hymn Parody #10

Here is another hymn parody.  This is the other one in response to the request I received from the great great granddaughter of John Menzies Macfarland (1833-1892) to parody hymns written by him.

This hymn parody highlights the fact that after completing my independent research, I came to the conclusion that Mormonism was simply created by Joseph Smith, and that none of it is actually true.  It was all made up by Joseph Smith from his imagination, plagiarization, and input from some others (like Sydney Ridgon).  I think it's possible that he saw it as a good way to make money and gain power over people.

Indeed, as the picture states, he was two-faced - presenting himself one way to the "Saints," and yet he was an entirely different person privately, and in reality.  Since history shows that Joseph Smith was a shyster, charlatan, swindler and con artist, with a history of treasure-seeking and at least 7 arrests, it isn't hard to imagine him as such. Of course, my opinion of his character is backed up by what I discovered about the origins of Mormonism, including the Book of Mormon, Book of Abraham, the practice of Polygamy and Polyandry, the truth behind the supposed martyrdom since Joseph Smith was actually a criminal and not a martyr at all, etc. (more on all of this in other places on this blog and in my book, also posted on this blog).  And unlike many Mormons, I do not buy the explanation ala Rough Stone Rolling that Joseph Smith as a Prophet but also a flawed man.  To me, these concepts are mutually exclusive.

My point in writing this hymn parody is my firm belief that it is completely inadvisable for people to believe things without doing their own independent research.  Simply believing what others tell you to believe is relegating all of your power to someone else, and giving up your own power completely.  I mean, would you buy a car without researching its history?  Without examine its tires, interior and body?  Without having a mechanic look under the hood?  Without having the engine checked out and analyzed?  No, you would carefully consider such an important purchase.  So why is the acceptance of a religion given less thought than the purchase of an automobile?  Blind faith.  It's one thing if there is no actual evidence for or against a religion, but when there is a mountain of evidence against its validity, then it's not faith anymore but rather denial.

DEAREST MORMONS, DON'T BELIEVE IT

Sung to the tune Dearest Children, God is Near You, #96

Dearest Mormons, don’t believe it,
Mormon doctrine is a myth.
Mormon scriptures were invented,
By a man named Joseph Smith.
He’s a shyster, he’s a shyster,
Please don’t put your trust in him.

Dearest Mormons, it’s malarkey,
None of it makes any sense.
It’s not true, that is apparent,
Deceptive swindle so immense.
It’s a rip-off, it’s a rip-off,
Don’t believe a word they say.

All the Mormons, true believers,
Just believe, don’t question it.
Just believe because they say so,
But that just isn’t wise, a bit.
Simply question, simply question,
Blind acceptance makes no sense.

Mormons, don’t you know it’s drivel?
What they tell you to accept.
Tell them reason and your judgment
In the background can’t be swept.
Please do research, please do research,
For the truth, just Google it.

© Diane Tingen, 6/7/2011

A POOR BEWILDERED GIRL OF DOUBT - LDS Hymn Parody #8

After finishing the hymn parodies from my initially compiled "to do" list, I began perusing an alphabetical list; and the first one that caught my attention in the A's was A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief, #29. When I was an active Mormon (TBM), I always loved this hymn, not only for its haunting melody and thoughtful words, but also for its history. Tale has it that John Taylor (who was arrested with Joseph Smith and his brother Hyrum, but was then released on bail, had opted to stay in the jail with the "Prophet and Seer") sang this hymn in Carthage Jail, and so it has become almost an anthem for the (supposed) martyrdom of Joseph Smith. When finally discovering all the lies laced throughout Mormonism, though, this hymn lost its appeal for me. And since I visited Carthage Jail for the first time during the beginnings of my disaffection from the Mormon Church (in the summer of 2001), that experience was bittersweet for me then, especially since my then very TBM mother-in-law asked me to sing this hymn with a quartet outside Carthage Jail.

Carthage Jail


In writing my version below, I envision it as an anthem for all those who discover the truth but feel trapped inside the Mormon delusion - whether it be by age, family, situation or other circumstances. Looking back at my life, I realize that I started having doubts when I was a teenager even though I did not "discover" the things I speak of in this hymn parody until much later in my life. But as a teenager, I already had a lot of issues and questions. Growing up in the 60's, I was Mormon when Blacks could not hold the Priesthood, and that was a big issue for me. I never understood the reasoning behind what I considered to be blatant racism, and the explanations given to me seemed iffy at best (more on that in my book contained on this blog). Also, way back then, I had already started to realize that the Mormon Church is a male-dominated, male-oriented, double-standard type of religious organization that uses guilt as a weapon and expects everyone to be Cookie Cutter versions of each other. This was not a popular opinion back then, and I was very shy and self-conscious in those day so wasn't vocal about my private mindset.

Also, even though I didn't know the actual background of the practice of polygamy back then, it still bothered me that it had been practiced at all; and that, according to Mormon doctrine, it will be practiced in the Celestial Kingdom. This was not a pleasant thought for me, but I put it on my shelf with all of my other issues. And of course, the constant questions from people when they found out I was Mormon was a thorn in my side back then as well. You know, comments like "So how many mothers do you have?" among many others.

And of course, in the 70's, there was the ERA (Equal Rights Amendment) with which to contend. This is when my opinions about feminism and equal rights began to solidify - and is probably the first period during which my father told me that my "liberal ideas were going to get me in trouble one day." I suppose if you consider the fact that I have left the Mormon Church and am now a full-blown ExMormon as "getting me into trouble," then he was right. Of course, I don't look at it like that. I see my transformation as an extremely positive event in my life.

But during my teenage years and on into my 20's and 30's, I believed the not-so-subliminal message that was given to me that if I felt that way, then it was my own fault - and that I just needed to have more faith, be more humble, pray more, study more, attend all of my Church meetings regularly, and all that. And if I did those things, then I would come to understand and accept everything about the church. I wish I had been more of an independent thinker back then and less concerned about what people would think of me if I doubted. Luckily, I finally arrived there albeit at a much more advanced stage of my life. But at least I arrived there - and that's what is important.

And so, here is my "revision" of A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief...

A POOR BEWILDERED GIRL OF DOUBT

Sung to the tune of A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief, #29

A poor bewildered girl of doubt,
More than confused by what she read.
She had been born in the Mormon Church,
But now, it simply filled her with dread.
She thought the church had come from God,
But now she feared it was a ruse.
And so she struggled with what to do,

She couldn’t think of any excuse.

Her Mom and Dad were TBM,
Believing all of it down the line.
And until now, she had no doubts,
Believed it, too, it was divine.
She always prayed and went to church,
Sacrament and Young Women, too.
And temple marriage was her goal,
Living life with an eternal view.

But as she looked at what she found,
It looked as though it was a myth.
What she had found was awful stuff

About the prophet Joseph Smith.
It said he married teenage girls,
And other women, he wed them, too.
It made her sick to think of this,
And she did not know what to do.

She thought of all that she’d been taught
About polygamy, way back when.
They said it started with Brigham Young,
She heard the story time and again.
He married widows, took care of them,
It all began on the journey West.
The orphaned children he did protect,
The picture painted, she was impressed.

But now that she had learned the truth,
That she’d been duped throughout the years,
Her soul was crushed, she felt betrayed,
Began to cry, and fought back the tears.
Why did they lie, not tell the truth?
Yes, Joseph Smith had lead the way.
Perpetuating all the lies,
Preserving them for modern day.

As she read the names of all his wives,
She counted them at 33.
What was the reason for all of that?
Perhaps he wanted them sexually?
11 women already wed
To living husbands with no divorce.
And 10 who were in their teenage years,

Which first wife Emma denied, of course.

And then there was the martyrdom,
When Joseph died in Carthage Jail.
But now, she knew the truth of this,
A criminal whose lies prevail.
A printing press destroyed by him,
Lamb to the slaughter is what he said,
He thought he was above the law,
A mob attacked, and he was dead.

Not only that, but there was more
Disturbing stuff from history.
Like Mormon scriptures, filled with lies,
The Book of Mormon, pure fantasy.
She thought about the golden plates
She sang about in Primary,
The Nephites and the Lamanites
Did not exist, so clear to see.

“It’s all a lie, right from the start,”
She said out loud though no one there.
She felt alone but could not express
How she was filled with such despair.

The more she thought, the more she knew
She must keep quiet for a while,
Not tell her parents or anyone,
Just go along with the perfect smile.

But as she pondered what all this meant,
She felt a burden lift from her.
And she knew no matter what was said,
It’s all deception, that’s for sure.
But though the truth would set her free,
She had to bide her time for now.
But when she finally turned 18,
Then to none of this would she kowtow.

© Diane Tingen, 6/5/2011

WHO IS THE MAN? - LDS Hymn Parody #2

Over the time that I've been writing poetry (and the occasional set of lyrics), I've discovered that when I start thinking about a particular topic in poetic terms, my brain just starts churning, and it doesn’t stop until whatever I’m writing is done.  Sometimes I think that's a curse because these thoughts tend to take over my brain, making it very difficult to do anything else.  Of course, having that happen makes me understand how many writers, musicians and other creative people tend to make their creativity the main focus of their lives, to the exclusion of a 9-to-5 job.  I would love to do that, too... but I like eating too much (that, and a roof over my head).

So here is my latest addition to the ExMormon Hymn Book.  I'm sure it will just be a matter of time before more twisted lyrics start popping into my brain...

WHO IS THE MAN?
Sung to the tune of Praise to the Man, #27

Who is the man who made up Mormonism?
His name was Joseph, and conning was his game.
He was a shyster beyond all description,
Fraudulent scams are his legacy and shame.

Chorus:
We can blame Joseph for all the deception,
He is the one who made up all the lies.
Finally I saw through the maze he created,
So glad I finally have opened up my eyes.

Who is the man who bedded Fanny Alger,
Starting the con that polygamy would be?
Yes, that was Joseph, he said God’s commandment
Was that his wives should number 33.

Chorus:
We can blame Joseph for all the deception,
He is the one who made up this big yarn.
Cover his ass was his main motivation
When Emma caught him with Fanny in the barn.

Who is the man who practiced Polyandry,
Married 11 of other men’s wives?
Joseph again, coercing all these women,
Plotting and planning as he messed with their lives.

Chorus:
Mormons now praise him, and call him a martyr,
Saying persecution is why he was killed.
But they won’t face that the truth is much different,
Simply a criminal, not as he is billed.

Who is the man who destroyed a printing press
When stories published exposed polygamy?
Yes, this was Joseph, he ordered the burning,
Nauvoo Expositor, demolished violently.

Chorus:
That is the reason that he was arrested,
That is the reason he was in Carthage Jail.
Armed with a shotgun when the mob attacked him.
So was he a martyr? No, that premise must fail.

Sadly, so much of the lies and deception
Will never dawn on most TBMs out there.
Instead, they buy what they’re told to believe in,
And anything “Anti” they’re told to beware.

Chorus:

Whatever happened to critical thinking?
Judge for yourself, and you’d see it’s all inane.
Evidence shows it’s just lies and deception,
It would be clear if you’d simply use your brain.

© Diane Tingen, 5/26/2011

Yes, sadly I bought into all this for a very long time... in fact, 52 years of my life.  Having been OUT for many years now, I feel lucky to have escaped the closed mindset that goes along with being Mormon.  After doing my own independent research, I discovered that it's actually a fraud perpetuated by Joseph Smith, and carried on by many others since his death.  Here's a few images to wrap up this new addition to the ExMormon Hymn Book. 

Joseph Smith, Founder,Prophet and Seer of the Mormon Church.

Joseph Smith "reading" the gold plates, which he later "translated" into the Book of Mormon.

Joseph Smith, placing his head in a hat to "translate" the Book of Mormon.

Some crazy shit.

MORMONISM SEUSS-IFIED

A few days ago, I got an email from someone who had found my blog and was writing to thank me for what I have written here, saying that it has helped him to work his way through the mires of Mormonism and gain the strength necessary to remain steadfast in his decision to leave the cult.  Getting that email from this man meant so much to me.  So often, I feel that my writings are more for me than anyone else, but knowing that there are others out there gaining insight from what I have written is very reassuring and fulfilling.

In the email he sent me, this man mentioned that he really liked my poetry, and especially "Mormonism Seuss-ified."  And although it is posted on the poetry page of this blog, I wanted to share it again because it says so much of how I feel about Mormonism and my trek away from its "force and pull."  Besides, I couldn't pass up the chance to post these great Dr. Seuss images I found...

MORMONISM SEUSS-IFIED

I do not like the Mormon Church,
And it’s not true, I’ve done research,
The Book of Mormon, it’s no surprise,
Filled with deception, full of lies.
The Word of Wisdom, what a crock,
Invented by a true shylock
Named Joseph Smith, the prophet dear
To Mormons, who his name revere.

For 50 years, I lived the life,
And I was an “eternal wife.”
Yes, temple marriage was my goal,
Trying to comprehend my role,
A woman in a church of men,
Questioning, again and again,
Praying that answers would be clear,
Wanting my doubts to disappear.

For I was simply not convinced
And what I felt could not be rinsed
Or cleansed in any way at all,
The total lies were its downfall
Within my mind and in my heart,
And knowing that, I had to start
Withdrawing from its force and pull,
No matter how hard or painful.

But Mormonism is a scam,
A fraud, a hoax, complete flim-flam,
A scheme to make its leaders rich,
Just thinking of it makes me twitch.
Sometimes I’d want to scream out loud,
“I hate that stupid cult,” and vowed
That I won’t go there, not again,
No matter what, or who, they send.

I’ve left the cult, won’t go no more,
To that whole thing, I’ve closed the door,
And though I know I won’t go back,
My family thinks that I will crack,
Admit my faults, repentance seek,
Since as they say, I’m very weak
Without the Holy Ghost to guide,
And that is why I think they lied.

Yes, I’m mislead, so full of shit
That I can’t see the truth of it,
According to the ones who know,
The TBMs can’t let it go.
They have to say that I’m condemned,
A heathen now, and can’t defend
What I have done, have left the fold
And now, I’m way out in the cold.

What they can’t see and can’t accept
I’m happy now, a strange concept.
Not possible, they say to me,
As I delude myself fully.
For only if you stay on track
The Mormon Way, can you go back
To live in heaven with the Lord,
Salvation and your just reward.

But please, if Mormonism’s true,
Then go yourself, I beg of you.
Don’t take me there, I will not go,
I’d rather spend my time below
With others who have left the church,
As Mormonism they besmirch,
For they will be a lot more fun,
And to me, that’s more like heaven.

© Diane Tingen, July 2010

Life is an interesting journey wherein we (hopefully) evolve to our true selves.  This quote by Dr. Seuss is very appropos to where I have arrived at this point in my journey.  Just being myself.  Something I never felt I could do when I was embroiled in Mormonism.  My journey took me through the bowels of Mormonism, but luckily, it also took me on a journey of self-discovery.  During that journey, I was forcefully hit on the head by the actual truth, making me realize that I had wasted far too many years on a religious organization that plays very fast and loose with the truth.

 
When I was a Mormon, I was essentially told to turn off my brain and just accept whatever was told to me.  But I don't believe that's what God wants us to do (if, in fact, there is a God, spoken from my now agnostic point of view).  IMO, we were equipped with brains so that we could think, examine and analyze - and decide what to believe and what not to believe.  To discern for ourselves. 

Just accepting things on face value without digging deeper is simply not wise.  The question of why I did that for so many years is something I am still asking myself.  But regardless of the answer to that question, I know for certain that I am being true to who I really am now - and that is priceless.

And although Dr. Seuss' writings seem as if they are all for children, so much of it is applicable in many ways to people in all stages of their lives.  Just like the quote by Dr. Seuss in this picture says, we all need to "Think left and think right and think low and think high," because "...the Thinks you can think up if you only try" are also priceless.  

TURN THE OTHER CHEEK???

Today is Monday, May 2 - the day following the news of the death of Osama bin Laden.  When I heard the news last night, I was relieved that this man will no longer be able to terrorize other human beings.  Yes, his organization (Al Qaeda) will still exist, but since Osama bin Laden was its founder and leader, hopefully his death will impact Al Qaeda negatively even if it doesn't dissolve completely (which would be the preferred outcome).  Of course, the impact that his death will have on the world and Al Qaeda remains to be seen.  Regardless, though, I agree with President Obama who said that "this is a good day for America."

After hearing the news and listening to the President's speech, I was astounded when I went on Facebook and saw the mixed reactions.  Some comments were positive and expressed relief and happiness as well as gratitude that Osama bin Laden had finally been brought to justice.  But other comments were somewhat negative, expressing feelings like "So what?" Some comments even said that he was "old news" and the only thing this did was to make him a martyr, basically inferring that it really didn't matter.  I disagree.  I think this is a very big deal, and is a positive development in the war against terrorism.  It may have taken almost 10 years after 9/11 to eliminate the evil forces that Osama bin Laden was hoisting on the world, but I see the fact that he is now dead and gone as very positive and encouraging.

This morning on my way to work, I was on a bus in downtown Denver, and a fellow passenger (male) was having a conversation with the bus driver.  During their exchange, the passenger said, "A man is dead, and we shouldn't be having a parade about it."  While I agree that death is not something to necessarily celebrate, I do feel that in this instance there is some jubilation inherent in the situation.  An evil man who masterminded the attacks on the World Trade Center on 9/11/2001 is now dead.  That is a good thing.  And even though I don't believe that the Book of Mormon is either true or actual scripture anymore, I do think the philosophy behind one of its scriptures does fit this occasion (namely, 1 Nephi 4:11-13) - and to paraphase it, "It is better for one man to perish than for an entire world to live in fear and terror."  In certain circumstances, I believe retaliation and vengance are in order.  And to me, this is one of them.

The man on the bus also asked, "What about turning the other cheek?," saying that the death of Osama bin Laden was not condoned by Jesus Christ or the New Testament.  The bus driver answered by saying that scripture does not apply in the situation.  He said that Christianity requires its followers to be humble, forgiving and to turn the other cheek when they are wronged.  But when the harm being perpetuated on that person is both harsh and repeated, they would be foolish not to retalitate and that Jesus Christ does not require them to be push-overs.  And I agree completely with what this man said.  Obviously killing Osama bin Laden will not bring back the people who have been killed because of his actions, but keeping him alive only makes his actions continue and the threat that he posed more looming and dangerous. 

In perusing articles on the internet, I came across one on http://www.beliefnet.com/, which I found to be very interesting.  That article is entitled, "The Limits of  'Turn the Other Cheek,' and in it, the author says the following:

The doctrine of nonviolence advocated by Martin Luther King is most commonly associated with the New Testament, specifically with Jesus' statement in the Sermon on the Mount: "Offer the wicked man no resistance.  On the contrary, if anyone hits you on the right cheek, offer him the other as well." (Matthew 5:38-39)

Although one might think that the example cited by Jesus (being slapped by a violent person) is uncommon, in fact it occurs quite often.  Many women, and a smaller number of men, are married to, or live with, a partner who slaps and beats them.  Does one counsel such people to accept abuse, to offer the other cheek, or rather tell them to immediately leave the relationship, and perhaps file a criminal complaint? I believe that the latter course - which rejects Jesus' advice both to "resist not evil" and to offer the other cheek - is not only more effective but also more moral.

It's worth noting that Jesus speaks of offering your other cheek to one who slaps you – a painful but not normally life-threatening circumstance.  It's not clear that he's also advocating that you allow yourself to be murdered rather than fight back.

Yet in the 20th century, people from Leo Tolstoy to Mahatma Gandhi interpreted Jesus' words to mean that one should be willing to die rather than fight back against a would-be killer.  I find this reading of the New Testament to be troublesome.  In any situation in which a would-be murderer confronts a potential victim, I believe that the world is a better place if the would-be murderer, rather than the intended victim, emerges dead from the encounter.  As Thomas Masaryk, the first president of Czechoslovakia and a great humanist, said in response to Tolstoy: "If someone attacks me with the intention of killing me, I shall defend myself, and if I cannot avoid it, I shall kill the attacker.  If one of us must be killed, let the one be killed who has the bad intentions."

Read more: http://www.beliefnet.com/News/2000/01/The-Limits-Of-Turn-The-Other-Cheek.aspx#ixzz1LEJQDi8L

While I think it is important that violence not be perpetuated, and that every slight should not be met with instant retaliation, I also think that people need to use their heads and decide when violence and retaliation are necessary.  Showing violent people that they are not dealing with a doormat is an important signal to send.  It shows that while others may not be looking for a fight, they are not going to turn away from such an altercation if the situation warrants it.

Time will tell what impact the death of Osama bin Laden will actually have on the world.  It may have none.  Al Qaeda may go forward, business as usual.  But at least the messages have been sent that we will not sit by idly and "turn the other cheek" - and that we as Americans are not doormats.  Those are very important messages to be sent and received.

Like I said in a Facebook post last night, "Whether or not bin Laden's death has any 'strategic importance in the long run' is really immaterial.  It is an important step in the war against terrorism, and it is very important for America in general, and the people who lost family members on 9/11 in particular."