I AM A CHILD OF GOD - LDS Hymn Parody #28

Such a nice picture.  Although I consider myself an Agnostic now, I still acknowledge the fact that pictures like this one give people a sense of comfort.  After all, believing in God or a higher power of some sort is very reassuring.  The idea that God is watching over you, and that He is there to answer your prayers, is a very comforting thought.

Unfortunately, though, there is the possibility that whatever comfort is received from believing in God or a higher power may be coming from a false sense of security - because although there are a lot of Christians in the world, as well as many other religions who have a belief in a higher power, that doesn't mean that what they believe is absolutely true. 

After leaving Mormonism, I began to consider the possibility that there may not be a God at all.  Of course, I want there to be a God, someone watching over me, the promise of an Afterlife where I will see and be with my loved ones.  But my wanting that to be the case doesn't make it so.  The reality is that there is a possibility that God does not exist.  It may be that when we die, that is it.  But does that make any difference in the long run?  In some ways, thinking this way has helped me to live life more fully, to consider the fact that since this life may be all there is, I should be doing all I can every day to make my life more fulfilling and this world a better place.

And with those thoughts in mind, I wrote this hymn parody. 

I AM A CHILD OF GOD

LDS Hymn Book, #301

I am a child of God,
Or so the Christians say.
But I don’t know if God exists,
They say I’ve gone astray.

(Chorus)

Reasoning has got me thinking,
Questioning it all.
Blindly just accepting it,
For that, I will not fall.

Am I a child of God?
The query gives me pause.
There’s nothing wrong with questioning
Religion and its flaws.

(Chorus)

Reasoning, not just accepting
Everything that’s said.
Going down the garden path,
I’ll use my brain instead.

So if there’s not a God,
No higher power there.
Would knowing that destroy your life
And fill you with despair?

(Chorus)

Reasoning and analyzing,
Thinking on my own.
Not believing what I’m told,
I will not be a clone.

I am a woman first,
On me I can rely.
So whether there’s a God or not,
Myself I can’t deny.

(Chorus)

Reasoning, no blind acceptance,
Not belief by force.
Using my free agency,
The best and safest course.

© Diane Tingen, 7/8/2011

THE MORMONS WON'T OPEN THEIR EYES - LDS Hymn Parody #25

The hymn Before Thee, Lord, I Bow My Head reminds me of singing in my Ward Choir, growing up in Fresno, California. My mother was the Choir Director for several years when I was growing up, and I started singing in the Choir when I was only 12 years old.  My mother really liked to sing this particular hymn, probably because of the way it is arranged with the women singing first, and then the men repeating the lines.  So this hymn brings back some very good memories of my mother (who passed away in 1977 when I was only 25 years old).

My parody of this hymn highlights (again) the fact that Mormons (IMO) need to open their eyes and realize that the religion to which they adhere is built on a huge stack of lies. To me, that realization was a deal-breaker. Interestingly, some active Mormons (on various discussion boards) have actually asked me that since all religions have lies laced throughout them, why should Mormonism be any different? And I have replied that although that may be true, that doesn't make the lies acceptable, in any form. To me, accepting lies as the basis for a religion is rationalization at its core. Of course, the apologetic-type websites are the epitome of this mindset. If the Mormon Church is indeed the "one and only true church on the face of the earth," then why does it need so many Mormon Apologists out there? -- such as FAIR (Foundation for Apologetic Information and Research - http://www.fairlds.org) and FARMS (Foundation for Ancient Research and Mormon Studies - http://maxwellinstitute.byu.edu/). It just doesn't make sense to me. And one question seems to remain - if what the Prophet says is the bottom line ("When the Prophet speaks, the debate is over"), then shouldn't that be the only basis needed for belief? Not for me, of course, but for all the TBMs out there...

THE MORMONS WON'T OPEN THEIR EYES

Sung to the tune of Before Thee, Lord, I Bow My Head, #158

The Mormons won't open their eyes,
Though it's not true, no big surprise.
They just believe no matter what,
But in a web of lies they're caught.
Right from the start, it was a ruse.
Why can’t they see there’s no excuse
For the deceit and what they say,
All of the games the Mormons play.

Their Prophet dear named Joseph Smith
Created it, just one big myth.
The Mormon Church is just a fraud,
It’s not inspired, not Word of God.
What happened to integrity?
Why all the lies, dishonesty?
They work to dupe the ones they can,
A horrible, destructive plan.

All negatives they simply hide,
Actual truth, they can’t abide.
Don’t listen to the evidence,
Cause after all, it might make sense.
Believe by faith, and do not stray.
Free agency given away.
Obey it all, let’s get it straight,
The Prophet speaks, no more debate.

And so I try to make them see
The many lies so clear to me
Though it is hard to talk to them
When what I say they just condemn.
Why don’t they think and use their brains?
Simply content to stay in chains.
Their minds are numb, don’t need a sign,
All Mormons walk the party line.

© Diane Tingen, 7/4/2011

MORE CRITICAL THINKING - LDS Hymn Parody #20

Burying your head in the sand.

The meaning of this phrase is:
"Refusal to confront or acknowledge a problem."

See: http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/80800.html and http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/hide+head+in+the+sand

So in essence, "burying your head in the sand" is the typical response to people who don't want to face facts.  They would prefer to simply pretend that the facts don't exist.  Kind of like, "If I refuse to accept or acknowledge the situation, then it doesn't exist."  As in accepting the Mormon Party Line without question, study, research or any type of critical thinking whatsoever.

The theme of the last few ExMormon Hymn Parodies I have written have been the fact that in my opinion, Mormons need to do more actual thinking and utilization of their brains.  Basically, in my opinion, they need to stop burying their heads in the sand.  Accepting things that you are taught simply because you're told to believe is not wise.  Neither is blind faith.  Critical thinking needs to enter the picture. 

The song I Believe from the Book of Mormon Musical says in several places, "I'm a Mormon... and Mormons just believe."  To me, that is a frightening stance.  In essence, they are saying, "I believe because I believe."  Or "I believe this or that because I was told to believe it."  Or "I believe because when I think about these things, I get strong feelings that it is true."

But those are not adequate reasons to "believe."  No, what a person needs to be able to say is, "I believe because the evidence points in that direction, and from all indications, it is true."  Unfortunately, though, in Mormonism, the evidence actually points in the opposite direction, away from any type of truth.  But because Mormons "just believe," they accept a lot of the teachings, doctrine and history based on either lack of information or blatant misinformation.

Believing by faith is all fine and good, but when the actual evidence is stacked against the validity of the premise, it is not faith anymore but rather denial. 

And so, here is my latest hymn parody...

MORE CRITICAL THINKING

Sung to the tune of More Holiness Give Me, #131

More critical thinking,
More use of your brain,
More research and study,
More issues remain.
More questions to sort through,
More judgment involved,
More facing the quandaries,
More problems resolved.

More real independence,
More freedom to choose.
More options considered,
More seeing the clues.
More voicing opinions,
More free agency,
More investigation,
More lies they will see.

Less marching in goose-step,
Less toeing the line,
Less blindly obeying,
Less thinking it’s fine.
Less feeling exhausted,
Less doing the dance,
Less worn-out and weary,
Less caught in a trance.

Less mind-numbing teachings,
Less going along,
Less fraudulent doctrine,
Less shading what’s wrong.

Less trapped in denial,
Less scared just to think,
Less Mormons conforming,
Less close to the brink.

Less wading through bullshit,
Less dealing with crap,
Less stuck in the middle,
Less caught in a trap.
Less sorting through garbage,
Less on the defense,
Less going in circles,
Less nervous and tense.

More quiet reflection,
More feeling at peace.
More calm introspection,
More turmoil will cease.
More joyful and happy,
More blissful and free.
More sense of fulfillment,
More time to be me.

© Diane Tingen, 6/22/2011

TYPICAL OSTRICHES...
STICKING THEIR HEADS IN THE SAND,
THINKING THAT IF THEY CAN'T SEE THEIR ATTACKER,
THEN THEIR ATTACKER CAN'T SEE THEM...
OR IN OTHER WORDS...

THEY, THE BUILDERS OF THE CENTER - LDS Hymn Parody #14

City Creek Center.

Presently under construction in Salt Lake City, Utah.

Spanning three square blocks in downtown SLC (approx. 23 acres), right across the street from Temple Square.

Opening in March 2012. 

Granted, it is going to be beautiful - and it will add a touch of elegance to the city.  High-end stores and shops.  Trendy boutiques.  Retractable roof.  Restaurants.  Performing Arts Center.  Theatres.  Luxury condos.  Sports and Fitness Center.  Office buildings.  Banks.  Grocery store.  And on and on...

Just look at this website -- http://www.downtownrising.com/ -- which, by the way, is being sponsored by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (in other words, "paid for"). 

The fact is, the Mormon Church is building City Creek Center via one of its "real estate arms," City Creek Reserve Inc. (which I find very interesting).  And it has already cost over $5 billion dollars.  That much, and it's not even done yet - so no telling what the cost is going to be by the time it is completed.  Naturally, the suits in SLC are saying that "no tithing monies are being used in the building of the City Creek Mall."  Really?  They expect us to believe that?  Yes, they do.  But in reality, whether or not tithing monies are being used directly to build this Mall, whatever monies are being used are derivative in some manner of tithing monies.  Trying to camoflague the truth.  Typical.

So here is my tribute to City Creek Center -
and my latest hymn parody.

THEY, THE BUILDERS OF THE CENTER
Sung to the tune of They, the Builders of the Nation, #36

They, the builders of the Center,
Spent $5 billion as of now.
Lots of stores to do your shopping,
Nordstrom, Macy's, take a bow.
Building new exclusive condos,
Costs are rising as we speak,
Rising upward, ever upward,
This expensive City Creek.

Though they say no tithing monies
Have been used to build the Mall,
They must think we're really stupid,
Idiots, for that to fall.
They're transforming Salt Lake City,
Modern and extremely chic,
Doesn't fit the "Mormon image,"
This expensive City Creek.


Mormons Inc. is even truer
Than it ever was before.
Its net worth was $30 billion
In the 90's, now much more.
But they try to keep it quiet,
Do not ask and they won't speak
Of their many "wise investments,"
As they're building City Creek.

Such religious implications,
Christian charity they boast.
Pay your tithing, fill the coffers,
Profit is what matters most.
Helping people, so they'll tell you,
Aid the poor whose lives are bleak.
But the poor won't live in condos
At expensive City Creek.

Follow us or you will suffer,
So the Mormons tell us all.
No Celestial glory given
To the heathens who will fall.
But on Sundays, stores will open,
On the Lord's day, every week.
What examples are these Mormons
In their Mall called City Creek.

Word of Wisdom, so important,
Coffee, tea and alcohol
Are considered evil items,
Said to be a huge downfall.
But at City Creek they're selling
All of that, just take a peek,
Word of Wisdom out the window
Everywhere in City Creek.

Grand hypocrisy inflated
What the Mormons daily tout.
God's commandments must be followed
As they preach, and scream, and shout.
But don't point out contradictions
In their teachings, what they speak.
And be sure to never mention
That outrageous City Creek.

© Diane Tingen, 6/14/2011

http://www.downtownrising.com/

CALLED TO DUPE - LDS Hymn Parody #11

Still pursuing my quest for adding to the ever-expanding ExMormon Hymn Book... and in that vein, I was looking through the LDS Hymn Book and came across Called to Serve, #249.  Of course, this hymn is essentially an anthem for missionary work, for spreading the gospel of Mormonism far and wide, to the ends of the earth. Although I used to admire Mormon missionaries who at 19 years of age give up two years of their lives to teach the gospel, now I look on these poor young men as victims of a religion that is spreading lies and deception.

An extremely sad part of that scenario is the fact that so many of these young men do not want to go on missions but are forced into going by their parents who "expect" them to go, and by a Mormon community that will be less than understanding if they choose not to go.  Naturally, many of them give in and go on missions to keep their parents happy and to avoid suffering the consequences that they know full-well will be heaped upon them throughout their lives.  For a religion that supposedly preaches Free Agency, no choice within Mormonism is actually an actual decision without consequences.

More and more, it seems that many young men are going on missions and discovering the truth behind the Mormon Curtain while they are in the mission field.  Many come home after their missions and leave the church because they have, for the first time, realized that Mormonism is laced with so many lies that it becomes apparent that it couldn't possibly be true.  Of course, this is what happens when anyone who really wants to know the truth actually researches on their own.  This is what happened to me, leading me away from the Mormon Church - and this is what happens to many others.

And so, here is my hymn parody of Called to Serve, #249.  My version is a tribute to all those who spread the lies and pull the wool over the eyes of their fellowmen, thereby perpetuating the ruse that Joseph Smith began in 1830 when he founded the Mormon Church.

CALLED TO DUPE

Sung to the tune of Called to Serve, #249

1.  Called to dupe them,
We must spread the message,
Chosen to perpetuate the lies.
Far and wide we tell of Mormonism,
But deceit we can’t disguise.

(Chorus)

Bullshit, give them bullshit,
As we spread the gospel word.
Bullshit, give them bullshit,
Though we know that it’s absurd.
Stupid, it is stupid,
But they won’t expect a thing,
Yes, it’s asinine, but they’ll be clueless
To the crap we bring.

2.  Called to con them,
Just like Prophet Joseph,
He created an enormous joke.
Snagging people, telling them malarkey,
Lies with every word he spoke.

(Chorus)

Bullshit, give them bullshit,
As we spread the gospel turd.
Bullshit, give them bullshit,
Though we know that it’s absurd.
Stupid, it is stupid,
But they won’t expect a thing,
Yes, it’s asinine, but they’ll be clueless
To the crap we bring.

3.  We believe it,
Why can’t all the others
Go along with everything we say?
Though they question, we must keep on hiding
All the lies in every way.

(Chorus)

Bullshit, give them bullshit,
As we spread the gospel turd.
Bullshit, give them bullshit,
Though we know that it’s absurd.
Stupid, it is stupid,
But they won’t expect a thing,
Yes, it’s asinine, but they’ll be clueless
To the crap we bring.

© Diane Tingen, 6/8/2011

Of course, the other thing that missionary work brings to mind for me right now is the Book of Mormon Musical which is now playing on Broadway...

 

Just looking at this picture showing it playing at the Eugene O'Neill Theatre just cracks me up!!  So awesome!!  And of course, the fact that is has gotten 14 Tony Award nominations, including Best Musical, is simply amazing!!  Maybe it will win.  I'm sure the suits in SLC would love that!!  We'll find out on Sunday, June 13...

I really want to go to New York City to see it!!

Definitely gotta plan a trip!!

THE MEANING OF LIFE

What is the meaning of life?  Whatever you want it to be.  Doesn't that sound wonderful?  So refreshing after spending a majority of my life in Mormonism.  Instead of the Cookie Cutter mold that "they" tried to force me into, I get to decide what the meaning of life actually is for ME.  And although I wish I had arrived where I am now many, many years ago (long before I became a middle-aged woman, when I still had my whole life ahead of me), I'm thankful to have arrived at this point at all.  After all, the odds were against me getting away from the Mormon Church at 52 years old.  At such an "advanced" age, I would seemingly be stuck in my ways, unable to adapt to big changes in my life.  But luckily, I'm not "the norm."  And I have a few good years still ahead of me... LOL

I spent most of my life trying to conform to what Mormonism said I should be.  Trying to squelch my individuality.  Attempting to deny my uniqueness.  Setting aside the rational thoughts that tried to invade the wall I had put up to ward off the "evils of the world."  After all, I had been told that I was supposed to live in the world but not be "of the world," and I took all of that tripe to heart.

When it comes down to it, life is simply not fair.  We are born to parents who believe one way or another, and in many cases, we are basically expected to adopt their belief patterns.  Even brainwashed to a certain degree (especially as Mormons).  In the Mormon Church, people are looked down on if their children do not adhere to Mormonism.  If they do not follow along like sheep, attending Primary, Sunday School, Sacrament Meeting, Seminary, going to Young Men or Young Women, going on a mission (if you are a boy), going to Institute, going to the temple, and on and on and on, then you are considered "less valiant," and are grouped with members who are considered the scourge.  Many 19-year old boys go on a mission simply to please their parents and advance their resume and profile so they can get a good TBM woman to marry them when they get home.  Simply put, they go on a mission because they feel they "have to go."  There is no real option in Mormondom.  In fact, there are many, many videos posted on YouTube of young men opening their mission call letters.  One in particular that I saw a while back made me very, very sad.  The boy was obviously not enthusiastic at all about the whole thing, but he was made to sit there (by his obviously TBM parents), read the letter, and comment on it.  My heart broke for him because it was blatantly obvious that HE DID NOT WANT TO GO.  I've tried to find that video again, but it looks like it may been removed (probably because of the boy's attitude toward the ritual).  Sadly, there are most likely a lot of others who also don't want to go but are much better at hiding their real feelings (somewhat like a survival instinct within Mormonism).

I used to dread getting older, probably because I wasn't happy with my life.  Everything had begun to seem so mundane.  Going to church had become a mind-numbing experience.  Trying to fit into the mold that was set out for me by Mormonism had become more and more difficult, and trying to buy into the whole Mormon ramble had become next to impossible.  Allowing myself to finally question it all and realize that it was my choice whether or not to believe in it was a freeing experience, just as was finally acknowleding that I really did have my Free Agency to do as I chose with my life.  And finally realizing once and for all that my thoughts and opinions really did matter was like breaking free from chains and/or a prison.  Of course, going on some ExMormon / PostMormon discussion boards and seeing that others felt the same way I do, and had similar opinions about it all, was very reassuring as well. 

When I finally broke away from Mormonism and began to voice my actual opinions, I began to see life as an exciting adventure again.  Instead, I now see the rest of my life as exciting and memorable rather than average or mundane.  And that is a gift all by itself.

And hopefully, we all know what the meaning of life is for ourselves... and don't need to consult any computers or websites...