CALLED TO DUPE - LDS Hymn Parody #11

Still pursuing my quest for adding to the ever-expanding ExMormon Hymn Book... and in that vein, I was looking through the LDS Hymn Book and came across Called to Serve, #249.  Of course, this hymn is essentially an anthem for missionary work, for spreading the gospel of Mormonism far and wide, to the ends of the earth. Although I used to admire Mormon missionaries who at 19 years of age give up two years of their lives to teach the gospel, now I look on these poor young men as victims of a religion that is spreading lies and deception.

An extremely sad part of that scenario is the fact that so many of these young men do not want to go on missions but are forced into going by their parents who "expect" them to go, and by a Mormon community that will be less than understanding if they choose not to go.  Naturally, many of them give in and go on missions to keep their parents happy and to avoid suffering the consequences that they know full-well will be heaped upon them throughout their lives.  For a religion that supposedly preaches Free Agency, no choice within Mormonism is actually an actual decision without consequences.

More and more, it seems that many young men are going on missions and discovering the truth behind the Mormon Curtain while they are in the mission field.  Many come home after their missions and leave the church because they have, for the first time, realized that Mormonism is laced with so many lies that it becomes apparent that it couldn't possibly be true.  Of course, this is what happens when anyone who really wants to know the truth actually researches on their own.  This is what happened to me, leading me away from the Mormon Church - and this is what happens to many others.

And so, here is my hymn parody of Called to Serve, #249.  My version is a tribute to all those who spread the lies and pull the wool over the eyes of their fellowmen, thereby perpetuating the ruse that Joseph Smith began in 1830 when he founded the Mormon Church.

CALLED TO DUPE

Sung to the tune of Called to Serve, #249

1.  Called to dupe them,
We must spread the message,
Chosen to perpetuate the lies.
Far and wide we tell of Mormonism,
But deceit we can’t disguise.

(Chorus)

Bullshit, give them bullshit,
As we spread the gospel word.
Bullshit, give them bullshit,
Though we know that it’s absurd.
Stupid, it is stupid,
But they won’t expect a thing,
Yes, it’s asinine, but they’ll be clueless
To the crap we bring.

2.  Called to con them,
Just like Prophet Joseph,
He created an enormous joke.
Snagging people, telling them malarkey,
Lies with every word he spoke.

(Chorus)

Bullshit, give them bullshit,
As we spread the gospel turd.
Bullshit, give them bullshit,
Though we know that it’s absurd.
Stupid, it is stupid,
But they won’t expect a thing,
Yes, it’s asinine, but they’ll be clueless
To the crap we bring.

3.  We believe it,
Why can’t all the others
Go along with everything we say?
Though they question, we must keep on hiding
All the lies in every way.

(Chorus)

Bullshit, give them bullshit,
As we spread the gospel turd.
Bullshit, give them bullshit,
Though we know that it’s absurd.
Stupid, it is stupid,
But they won’t expect a thing,
Yes, it’s asinine, but they’ll be clueless
To the crap we bring.

© Diane Tingen, 6/8/2011

Of course, the other thing that missionary work brings to mind for me right now is the Book of Mormon Musical which is now playing on Broadway...

 

Just looking at this picture showing it playing at the Eugene O'Neill Theatre just cracks me up!!  So awesome!!  And of course, the fact that is has gotten 14 Tony Award nominations, including Best Musical, is simply amazing!!  Maybe it will win.  I'm sure the suits in SLC would love that!!  We'll find out on Sunday, June 13...

I really want to go to New York City to see it!!

Definitely gotta plan a trip!!