IF LIES ARE LACED THROUGHOUT IT ALL - LDS Hymn Parody #34

One of the biggest remaining questions for me regarding the Mormon Church and its members is why so many of them seem to not want to know the truth.  Like in this picture, the minute someone tries to tell them an opposing opinion, they immediately shut off their minds... the ol' la, la, la, I can't hear you response.  But then again, I suppose this response is understandable when you look at the atmosphere created within Mormonism (i.e. when the prophet speaks, the thinking is done, the debate is over).  In this way, the members are more able to rationalize through all of the loose ends and apparent lies to arrive at the conclusion that the Mormon Church is somehow true.  Very clever, these Mormon leaders.

Of course, having been born and raised in the Mormon Church, I can understand where this immediate response to shut off your brain comes from to a certain degree.  Since I just went along for many years (50 to be exact), not really questioning very much and just accepting it all without much thinking or contemplation, I know how deep the brainwashing runs.  If I didn't understand something, I was given the message that we cannot understand everything in this life, but that if we endure to the end, it will all be made known to us and then we will know that it was worth it.  I was also given the message that I must not be worthy enough to understand certain things, so I needed to pray more, study the scriptures more, attend all of the church meetings, etc., and then perhaps it would make more sense.  If there's anything wrong, it couldn't possibly be that the church is wrong, so it must be that you are not worthy enough.  The ol' it's you not them mindset.  Sadly, this works quite well in Mormondom.

This is one of the things that strikes me the hardest when reading the comments posted on my blog by Anonymous in the past few days.  This person is obviously spouting the Mormon Party Line, and it seems to me that there is very little actual thinking going on.  The Mormon leadership should be very proud of this person since he/she is the epitome of The Mormon Way.

And so this leads to my latest hymn parody.  Truly, if lies are laced throughout it all, why don't they want to know?  When I began to discover all the discrepancies between what I had been taught and what was true in reality, I was flabbergasted and very confused - but I was also grateful that I had finally taken the step to finding out the actual truth.  If I am now ridiculed and mocked by TBMs, that is a small price to pay.  But regardless of what they all think, I cannot remain quiet about what I have discovered.  To do so would be to diminish the effect of the actual knowledge that I have gained.  And I refuse to be a compliant sheep anymore.

IF LIES ARE LACED THROUGHOUT IT ALL
Sung to the tune of O Love That Glorifies the Son, #295

If lies are laced throughout it all,
If lies are written on the wall,
Those lies will be its sure downfall.
Why don’t they want to know?
Why don’t they want to know?

Why do they cling to what they’re told
And all of the apostates scold?
There’s lies throughout what they’ve been sold.
Why don’t they want to know?
Why don’t they want to know?

They hide their heads deep in the sand,
And say that they don’t understand
Why we have taken such a stand
Against the Mormon Church,
Against the Mormon Church.

Instead of saying we besmirch
The doctrines of the Mormon Church,
Why don’t they do their own research?
Perhaps they’d find the truth,
Perhaps they’d find the truth.

They ask us why we can’t move on,
To Mormonism we are drawn,
They want us all to just be gone,
To simply go away,
To simply go away.

Apostates who have broken free,
Who all the lies so plainly see,
Our voices cannot silent be,
Or it will be for naught,
Or it will be for naught.

© Diane Tingen, 8/7/2011

DEAR ANONYMOUS

You posted 3 comments on my blog today, and although I would like to respond directly to you, you've made that impossible since you posted them anonymously.  According to my Feedjit App, you live in Mesa, Arizona, but that doesn't give me enough information to locate you.  So I will post this open letter with the hopes that you will come back to my blog to "check in" and will find it.  And by the way, it seems to me that those who post anonymously are too cowardly to post using either their real name or at least a way for someone to contact them.  If a person is secure in their opinions, shouldn't they be willing and able to handle whatever response they may get?  I'm not hiding behind a pseudonym here, and I'm certainly not posting anonymously.  I'm very firm in my opinions about the lies and deception that are laced throughout Mormonism, and I'm ready to discuss them at any time.

The first comment you posted was this:  "Mormonism is true. I am a Mormon. No, I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I know who I am and I won't forget it, not now, not ever. You may have forgotten who you are and what your divine destiny is, but trying to convince others that it's not true isn't right. How can you do this to others? How can you make these awful claims of the truthfulness of the gospel? How can you leave it when the Spirit can be felt so strongly at times? How can you do this to yourself?"  By Anonymous on Mormonism Seuss-ified at 1:21 PM

You say that although you know who you are and won't forget it, not now, not ever, that I may have forgotten who I am and what my divine destiny is.  You go on to say that trying to convice others that it's not true isn't right, and ask how I can do this to others, even going on to ask how I can make these awful claims of the truthfulness of the gospel... how can I do this to myself?  To answer your questions, how can I NOT do this?  When I discovered the lies and deception laced throughout Mormonism, I was flabbergasted.  I was born and raised in the Mormon Church, and I never expected to discover that the religion on which I had based my life was actually a fraudulent scam.  But that's exactly what it is, and if you would do some independent research instead of relying on what the Mormon Church tells you to believe, you might discover the truth as well.  If you want to read the entire background on my journey away from Mormonism, you can read my book which is posted on this blog.

The second comment you posted was this:  "You must not know what Mormon heaven is if you'd rather choose the other way.  And you must not understand what the other way holds."  By Anonymous on Heaven... or Hell??? at 1:24 PM

Yes, I know what "Mormon Heaven" is claimed to be.  The Celestial Kingdom.  A fantasy place made up by Joseph Smith, along with two "lower" kingdoms called the Terrestrial Kingdom and the Telestial Kingdom.  He made up a lot of stuff, and simply because there were people who bought it all doesn't mean it's true.  As the saying goes:

And as far as what "the other way" holds (i.e. Hell), I'll take my chances.  After all, no living person really knows what the Afterlife holds.  They can profess a religious belief, but no one knows what is true until it's too late to tell others.

Your third comment is the most interesting by far... and definitely the most rambling:  "Why would Joseph Smith create such a lie and still continue on with it? If it wasn't true, why did he allow himself to be tarred and feathered? If it was a made-up story, why would he choose to preach it and show such strength even though he was killed in the end? If it was a lie, why would he allow his friends and family and HIMSELF to be tortured, beaten, spit upon, and torn up in such an awful way? Why didn't he, if it wasn't true, just drop the whole idea in the end? Make people like him like the rest of the world would have done? And if it's a lie, why did so many people join? Why not just his closest friends and families? Why millions? Why? Because: it IS true. Quite often when people have something great to share, it isn't believed. The world says it is so amazing that it can't be true and the people all believe the world. Except for the ones who really try, who really pray; why would the early members, including Joseph Smith, have kept going had it been a lie? It makes no  sense; if you have the chance to win twenty million dollars but people say it's not real, it's fake, but it really is, are you going to give up, knowing that you could have gotten that twenty million dollars, or that celestial salvation, in the end? Would you give up your chance on twenty million just because people discourage you? Or would you work at it and keep going until you HAVE twenty million? Think on that. Because it is true. And the reason people keep going through all the trials and tribulations brought upon them by the world is because they have found something great. It's because they've found something amazing, astounding, something worth sharing. Once you got your twenty million, wouldn't you share the chance with your family members, friends? Wouldn't you want them to be just as happy as you are? But the reward of celestial salvation is MUCH more than twenty million; it's more than anyone could even comprehend on their own. The things that He has in store for us are amazing, are truly astounding, are way greater than any trials or tribulations could ever overcome. Why shouldn't we share it with people? Why shouldn't we want our family members and friends, everyone, be as happy as we are? That's why we continue on. That's why we don't stop. That's why we don't and why we will never give up. That's the reason we are so happy. Because it is true and we know it. We know who we are. We know who we can become. We know what's in store and what we can gain. We know it. We know who we are. I know who I am. And I hope you do too; because if you decide to continue like this, you won't get your twenty million. Why would anyone give up that chance?"  By Anonymous on Called to Dupe Them - LDS Hymn Parody at 1:35 PM

When someone goes on and on to the point of rambling, it is usually a sign that a nerve has been hit.  Perhaps that is the case with your three comments, particularly since they were posted this afternoon in the course of 14 minutes.  To comment on your first list of questions from this third comment, I'll break it down.

1.  Why would Joseph Smith create such a lie and still continue on with it?  Plain and simple, it is my opinion that Joseph Smith created Mormonism to gain power over people and to get their money.  He became a rich and powerful man because of Mormonism.  And as far as I am concerned, that was his motivation.  Plus he pretty much got to say whatever he wanted, and people hung on his every word.  Plus he creating polygamy, marrying 10 teenage girls (one as young as 14), and 11 women who were already married to living husbands.  Yes, I do believe the his sexual appetite and desire to bed numerous women was the motivation behind his invention of polygamy and polyandry.  The evidence is there.  Just look at it.

2.   If it wasn't true, why did he allow himself to be tarred and feathered?  This question is actually pretty funny.  If a group of people were going to tar and feather someone, the act doesn't occur because the victim has "allowed" it to happen.  They are captured - and then tarred and feathered.  What you need to ask yourself is WHY was Joseph Smith tarred and feathered.   Research that question and the name Nancy Miranda Johnson will come up.  Here's a link that gives some interesting information about this incident.  And before you pass this information off as "anti-Mormon propaganda," please remember that these are historical facts. 

3.  If it was a made-up story, why would he choose to preach it and show such strength even though he was killed in the end?  Well, I've already stated my opinion on why Joseph Smith chose to preach Mormonism.  As far as showing strength and being killed in the end, he was not killed because of "religious persecution" as touted by the Mormon Church (and as I was told growing up).  He was arrested and placed in Carthage Jail because he ordered the destruction of the Nauvoo Expositor printing press (and the burning of the building in which it was housed) after a story was published exposing the truth behind Joseph Smith's practice of polygamy and polyandry.  And the mob that attacked him while he was in Carthage Jail did so because of Joseph Smith's practice of polygamy/polyandry and what was exposed in the article published in the Nauvoo Expositor (and by the way, did you know that he had a gun with him during the shoot-out and shot it?  That was news to me, too).  The fact that he was in jail for this act did not make him a religious martyr upon his death but rather a criminal.  It really irritates me that I was taught otherwise, and sang hymns like "Praise to the Man."  It wasn't until I did my own independent research that I began to discover the truth behind it all.  I just wish I had done my research much earlier in my life so I wouldn't have spent 52 years in a religion that plays so fast and loose with the truth - and was obviously a hoax from the get-go.

4.  If it was a lie, why would he allow his friends and family and HIMSELF to be tortured, beaten, spit upon, and torn up in such an awful way?  Why didn't he, if it wasn't true, just drop the whole idea in the end?  Those are good questions and ones that in most likelihood have several answers.  Yes, the Mormons were persecuted for their beliefs.  But Joseph Smith was the one who had the most to lose if he were to turn away from it.  In my opinion, he craved the power that he gained by being the founder of Mormonism.  From what I have read, he was very charasmatic and was able to get people to follow him.  But in the process of establishing Mormonism, he told a lot of lies and kept digging his hole deeper and deeper.  How could he suddenly say it wasn't true?  How could he turn away from it when he had created such a money machine?  No, instead of turning away from it, he just kept moving and moving and moving... from New York... to Ohio... to Missouri... to Illinois.... hoping that people would leave him and his followers alone.  But in the end, he couldn't just leave well enough alone and began a campaign to run for President of the United States.  Such arrogance.  And that was probably the final nail in his coffin.  Of course, after his death, Brigham Young took over and moved the Mormons to Utah where he built an incredible empire and made himself a very rich man.   And so the lies were perpetuated... and more men became rich and powerful on the coat tails of the "Saints."

5.  And if it's a lie, why did so many people join? Why not just his closest friends and families? Why millions?  Why did so many people join?  Well, the answer is obvious.  They were told lies that they bought - and the Mormon community was so closed off from the rest of civilization that they became trapped in the lifestyle.  Back in the beginnings of the church, they didn't have the internet (or Google) to lead them to the truth.  Lies weren't so easily discovered until the advent of the internet, but now they are easily uncovered.  You really should do some research.  Just Google it.  Like this paraphase of a scripture used by the Mormon Church says, "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of Google, and the truth will be made known unto you."  Of course, the lies and deception continue today, and people who join the Mormon Church today are not told the truth behind Mormonism.  It isn't until they begin to do their own research that they discover that the religion they have joined is a fraud.  Very sad state of affairs.

As far as the statistics broadcasted by the Mormon Church today, it claims 14 Million members.  Worldwide.  And what is the total world population today?  7 Billion.  At 14 Million, that is .2% of the world's population.  That's not even 1%.  Not even 1/2 of 1%.  After all, 1 Billion is 1,000 million.  But the fact is that number is highly inflated since it includes inactive members, excommunicated members, and deceased members (no, they don't take those names out of their numbers - look it up). So let's talk active members. Perhaps 4 Million.  And at the real number of 4 million members, that is .06% of 7 Billion.  Barely over 1/2 of 1% of the entire world's population.  So what does the Mormon Church really have to brag about in saying it has 14 Million members?  Not very much when you compare that number to the world's population.  Yes, I know - that's why the Mormon Church has baptism for the dead.  For those who never had the opportunity to hear the gospel.  Just another one of Joseph Smith's inventions.

You use the analogy of the 20 Million dollars.  Well, my blog contains another analogy.  This is a quote by Christopher Miller.

Some of you are probably thinking, "Why don't you just leave them (the Mormons) alone?" So I ask you, if you saw a thirsty man drinking water from a well you knew to be poisoned, would you let him continue to drink or would you guide him to a safe well?

In my ExMormon state, I prefer to try to guide people away from this bogus religion rather than just sit by quietly and watch them continue to be poisoned.  Seems like the humane thing to do.

And in closing, Dear Anonymous, you can keep the 20 Million dollars.  Particularly if Joseph Smith has anything to do with handing it out.  Because in actuality, it will probably be illegal tender left over from his Kirtland Safety Society Anti-Banking Company scheme.

HOW SKEWED IS THE DOCTRINE - LDS Hymn Parody #33

Sometimes I feel like I've become like a broken record, and that people who read this blog just think, "yeah, yeah... lies, deception, contradictions, blah, blah, blah..."  Of course, I'm sure that is pretty close to what TBMs who come here think (because some have actually told me so).  In fact, one TBM who came on here told me, "...your claim to intelligent reasoning seems a tad flat. It seems that your reasoning and investigations have developed a partisan approach that many disenchanted Mormons frequently and unintentionally employ. Your flippant discourse is telling."  Like I responded to this person, I am not trying to be "flippant."  I just think people should use their brains and not rely on what others have told them to believe.  And as far as the label of "disenchanted Mormon" goes, I am an ExMormon, having worked my way through the arena of "disenchantment" many years ago, arriving at the point where I saw Mormonism for what it is and opted against being further associated with a supposed religious organization that plays so fast and loose with the truth.

The fact is that Mormon doctrine is filled with lies, and so is its depiction of its history.  Because of that, I think it is important for everyone to examine the history and doctrine more closely, and not to simply accept what it is they are told to believe.  You know, the Mormon Party Line.  Deciding things for yourself is very important as is critical thinking.  When a person accepts what is told to them rather than doing any research or investigation on their own, they are giving up their own power.  If they decide to accept something despite the problems, at least they know the problems and are making a conscoius decision.  After all, some people are able to work their way through the problems and issus to arrive at conclusions that are suitable for themselves despite all the gray areas.  Others (like me) are more into black-and-white thinking and require factual justification for what they believe.  On a couple of the discussion boards that I visit from time to time, I've been told that simply because there are lies laced through Mormonism, including its history, it doesn't mean that it isn't a legitimate religion because all religions are composed of lies.  I don't understand that logic, and I don't see how that makes the lies okay, but at least these people are thinking and not simply relying on what others have told them.

Of course, in my opinion, the most blatant example of relying simply on what a person is told is LDS missionaries.  True, some of them know the actual truth and preach the gospel in spite of it, either due to family/social pressures or the "gray area" thinking I spoke about above.  But there are many, many missionaries out there who do not know the actual history of the Mormon Church or its actual doctrines.  For instance, most do not know the actual truth behind polygamy, the fact that Joseph Smith had 33 wives, or the fact that polyandry was practiced by Joseph Smith, Brigham Young, Parley P. Pratt, and others (in that they married women who were already married to living husbands).  When faced with this fact, they say it didn't happen, and that polygamy started with Brigham Young on the Trek West to help widows and orphans (which is what I was told growing up and believed for way too long).  This false scenario came clearly into view one day when I went on http://www.mormon.org/ and visited the link to chat with missionaries.  During that visit, I chatted with a missionary named Elliott and asked him what could be the justification for polyandry being practiced - and he denied that it had ever been practiced.  When I told him that it is verified on the Mormon Church's own genealogy website, http://www.familysearch.org/, he asked me for a link.  And when I gave it to him, he disappeared for over 5 minutes and then came back and said he was going to have to get back to me about that. 

Elliott was obviously blind-sided - and I can understand that feeling because I bought the official Mormon version of polygamy for many years, until I began doing my own research and discovered the truth behind it all.   I'm sure that if I were to go back on the missionary chat line again and ask about the varying version of the First Vision, mentioning the fact that there are at least 9 different versions that were told at various times, that I would get the same type of answer - "that's simply not true, and if there are variations, it's only because these versions were told to different people at different times who remembered them differently."  Yes, that is what I was told for many years - and unfortunately, I bought that explanation until I began doing my own research on that topic as well as many others.

So my advice is this:  Do your own research.  Do not rely on what you are told.  And do not be a Mormon as depicted in the Book of Mormon Musical who "just believes" despite all the mounting evidence.

And in that vein, here is my latest hymn parody based (again) on this theme...

HOW SKEWED IS THE DOCTRINE
Sung to the tune of How Firm a Foundation, #85

How skewed is the doctrine presented as His Word,
And what Mormons preach is so patently absurd.
What more can I say than to you I have said,
Beware of the Mormons, beware of the Mormons,
Beware of the Mormons, and don’t be misled.

For most of my life, I adhered to what they taught,
But now, looking back, I can see that I was caught.
For I could not see that it’s simply not true.
The lies and deception, the lies and deception,
The lies and deception I finally saw through.

They’ll tell you that it is the one true church of God,
But if you look deeper, you’ll see that it’s a fraud.
Just look at the facts, and it all will be plain.
The truth is apparent, the truth is apparent,
The truth is apparent, no questions remain.

© Diane Tingen, 7/25/2011

DON'T ACCEPT IT - LDS Hymn Parody #32

Being led down the garden path is a very interesting (and descriptive) phrase.  In doing some research on its origin, I found the following two explanations for it:

First, from Cliche Web:

This may have its origin in the story of Adam and Eve in the Bible when Satan convinces them that it's okay to eat from the tree of knowledge. Obviously, they were deceived.

And second, from Wikitionary:

Verb

to lead someone down the garden path

(idiomatic) To deceive, hoodwink

'It was thought that the early origins of the idiom was founded on the tendency for one village to marry off their unsuccessful brides to unknowing bachelors. The superstition of the groom not being able to see his veiled bride until the marriage proclamation had been made was widely practiced. To that end the bride remained veiled throughout the ceremony. When the veil was lifted, the groom would learn that he had been married to a stranger. Many ceremonies took place in private gardens and as such the tendency to deceive with intent had evolved to the idiom of leading someone down the garden path.' 

Regardless of its origin, though, my strong feeling is that this phrase as it is used today (meaning misguided, misled and/or deceived) is very applicable to the Mormon Church in that they attempt to present a very different picture than what is true in reality.  For instance, when someone is "investigating" the church, taking the missionary lessons, there are many things that are never mentioned - such as the very sordid history of the church, the truth behind polygamy and polyandry, the way in which the Book of Mormon was supposedly translated, the actual facts surrounding what Mormons present as the religious martyrdom of its Founder and first Prophet Joseph Smith, the fact that there are at least 9 versions of the First Vision, the facts surrounding the Book of Abraham, etc., etc.  I won't go into detail about all of these matters here, but will refer you instead to the book I have written regarding my issues with Mormonism (which is included on this blog).

Although the Mormon Church paints an enticing picture of its religion, and holds itself out to be "the one and only true church on the face of the earth," the garden path of Mormonism is very definitely a dead-end street that is paved with lies, deception, and contradictions (IMO, of course).

And this is the theme of my latest hymn parody...

DON'T ACCEPT IT
Sung to the tune of Count Your Blessings, #241

When I was a Mormon, I believed it all,
Bought into each detail, whether big or small.
I was so compliant, never questioned it,
Till I finally saw what I could not admit.

(Chorus)

Don’t accept it all on what they say,
Don’t buy into all the games they play.
Don’t accept it, simply do the math,
Don’t just let them lead you down the garden path.

Mormonism’s founder, namely Joseph Smith,
Made up this religion, it’s just one big myth.
From the Book of Mormon to the D&C,
He created scriptures, it’s so plain to see.

(Chorus)

Don’t accept it all on what they say,
Don’t buy into all the games they play.
Don’t accept it, simply do the math,
Don’t just let them lead you down the garden path.

From the phony doctrines to the history,
Mormonism’s not what it purports to be.
So when I began to research on my own,
It began to seem just like the Twilight Zone.

(Chorus)

Mormonism is a web of lies,
True religion is its fake disguise.
Mormonism, don’t be taken in,
There’s deception underneath the lies they spin.

It is so apparent if you study it,
Just like it unraveled for me, bit by bit,
Look at every element objectively,
And you will be shocked by all the lies you see.

(Chorus)

Mormonism is a total fraud,
Many lies behind its slick façade.
Mormonism, quickly run away,
Don’t accept a single word of what they say.

© Diane Tingen, 7/20/2011

A MIGHTY PUZZLE WAS THE CHURCH - LDS Hymn Parody #31

Yes, from the time I was a teenager, the Mormon Church was a puzzle to me.  So much of it just didn't make sense, but the message I received was that if I had issues, then I just needed to pray more, study the scriptures more, and be more obedient - and then it would make sense to me.  And believe me, I tried.  I accepted the proposition that it wasn't the church, it was ME - that I was not worthy enough to understand it all.  But regardless of how much confusion I felt, I kept plugging along, believing that if I just hung in there, one day it would all make sense.  Never happened.

When I began studying church history in preparation for going on a Mormon Church History Tour in the Summer of 2001, I immediately began to discover that there are all kinds of sordid details in Mormon Church History.  Naturally, my original reaction was disbelief - I must be misunderstanding something because these things couldn't have possibly taken place.  And then, when I came to terms with the fact that these were true accounts of what had occurred back then and all the lies laced throughout Mormon Church history and doctrine, I began to kick myself for not researching this earlier, for just going along and accepting it all without doing my own actual research.  In my opinion, this is one of the biggest problems with the Mormon Church - encouraging people to accept everything they are told and highly discouraging them from delving any deeper on their own.  Blind faith rather than actual reasoning or critical thinking.  Of course, since the church gives people the message that going ouside the "authorized areas" is a big No-No, it creates the type of situation where people "just believe."  But just believing based solely on what a person is told is not wise.  But that's what most Mormons do and seem to be just fine with it.

I am so glad that the Mormon Church is not a puzzle to me anymore.  I am very grateful that I finally broke the mold and began to research outside the "accepted parameters."  Of course, when I discovered that one of the characteristics of a cult is highly discouraging its members from researching outside what they have outlined as "accepted reading," I began to see the Mormon Church in a much different light.  Little did I know, all those years ago, when people told me that the Mormon Church was a cult, and I disagreed, becoming very annoyed that my church was being put in that highly offensive category, that they were actually right.  Live and learn.

And so, here is my latest hymn parody...

A MIGHTY PUZZLE WAS THE CHURCH

Sung to the tune of A Mighty Fortress is our God, #68

A mighty puzzle was the church,
For many years, I struggled.
No matter what I read or heard,
So many issues lingered.
And so, through my research,
I found the Mormon Church
Is filled with many lies,
And so I must surmise
That Joseph Smith just made it up.

So when I left the Mormon Church,
Enormous burdens lifted.
The puzzle had been solved at last,
And all confusion ended.

Where I was once devout,
I simply have no doubt
That it is just a ruse
For which there’s no excuse,
Religious cult that’s full of lies.

Apostates seek to know the truth,
And see behind the curtain.
They don’t accept what they are told,
They want to know for certain.
They see through the façade,
Believe that it’s a fraud,
Reject what is not true
With an objective view,
And aren’t afraid to speak the truth.

It was not easy when I left,
With family members active.
But though they may not understand,
The truth is my one motive.
For once I saw the lies,
There was no compromise.
I knew that if I stayed,
It would be a charade,
And now I live authentically.

© Diane Tingen, 7/15/2011

So many Mormons just stand there, staring at the missing puzzle piece,
not allowing themselves to take the leap and do their own research.
I will be forever grateful that I finally took that leap...

COME, FOLLOW ME - LDS Hymn Parody #30

Here is another LDS hymn parody - this one to the tune of Come, Follow Me, #116.  In doing research about this hymn, I discovered that the author of the lyrics (as shown in the LDS hymn book) was a Mormon man named John Nicholson (1839-1909), and the composer of the music itself was Samuel McBurney (1847-1909), who was NOT a Mormon.  Naturally that puzzled me, so I looked for more history of the hymn, especially because I was intrigued by the idea of a non-Mormon writing music for a Mormon hymn.  I thought perhaps that this hymn was originally a Protestant hymn and was then revised to be a Mormon hymn, but I haven't been able to find any sources regarding its background or history so far.

I find the second verse of this hymn to be particularly interesting, especially since discovering THE REAL TRUTH about Mormonism.

"Come Follow Me," a simple phrase,
Yet truth's sublime, effulgent rays,
Are in these simple words combined
To urge, inspire the human mind.

THE TRUTH.  An interesting concept.  Since discovering THE REAL TRUTH about Mormonism, I find it ironic that the Mormon Church holds its gospel and doctrine out as THE TRUTH when in actuality they play very fast and loose with the concept of TRUTH.  From lies and cover-ups about its history to deception and contradictions about its doctrines, the concept of TRUTH takes a beating in the Mormon Church.  Of course, if you buy into Mormonism, then you believe that the Mormon Church is the "one and only true church on the face of the earth," and that no other religion can provide you with salvation in the highest degree of the Celestial Kingdom.  Of course, in my opinion, when a person digs deeper than what they are told to believe ala Mormonism, they discover THE REAL TRUTH, which is that Mormonism is an enormous pile of lies, deception, cover-ups, and contradictions - and that it was a hoax from the get-go.

Of course, the most important part of "following" in the Mormon Church is the admonition to Follow the Prophet.  And always remember - When the Prophet speaks, the thinking is done.

So here is my version of this hymn...

COME, FOLLOW ME

LDS Hymn Book, #116

“Come, follow me,” the Mormon said,
And just believe what you are fed.
Though it may seem a bit absurd,
It is the truth, just take our word.

Though you may find opposing views,
And you may want to look at clues,
Just follow us and you will find
That you won’t need to use your mind.

And just avoid the internet,
Why get yourself at all upset?
When you can now accept it all,
Don’t bang your head against a wall.

All that you need is in your heart,
Feelings you’ve had right from the start.
Your bosom burns, that’s all you need,
That is your test, your proof indeed.

So when you’re told it is a hoax,
And when you hear the endless jokes,
Do not give in, and just stand firm,
And do not let them see you squirm.

© Diane Tingen, 7/13/2011

Obviously what Mormons should be saying is...

FAMILIES ARE SO IMPORTANT - LDS Hymn Parody #29



Mormon Temple Wedding Policy Petition

One of the things that seems to be commented on a great deal when discussing the Mormon Church is how family-oriented it is.   That aspect of families being so important is one of the things that makes the Mormon Church stand out, and although I don't believe that the church is true anymore, I still acknowledge that part of its uniqueness.  Because of that reputation of being family-oriented, I feel that the Mormon Church should be very careful with the way in which that message is given to the world, especially since it is obvious that the Mormon Church wants to be accepted as Christian by the Christian community.  If the Mormon Church truly wants to be known for being family-oriented, then I feel that it should acquiesce and change its policy about how weddings are performed within the church.   By allowing civil unions prior to sealings in Mormon Temples, they would exhibit Christian attitudes and show that really care about keeping families together.  That, in my opinion, would go a long way to cementing that "family image" in people's minds. 

So here is another hymn parody that I have written in support of the Mormon Temple Wedding Policy Petition.  Isn't it about time?

FAMILIES ARE SO IMPORTANT
Sung to the tune of As I Search the Holy Scriptures, #277

Families are so important,
By the Mormon Church defined
As eternally connected,
Ever with their lives entwined.

Temple wedding ceremonies
Should include the families
Even if they’re not all Mormon,
Please remove the boundaries.

Just allowing civil unions
To take place before they’re sealed
In a Mormon Temple wedding
Would consideration yield.

Far too many are excluded,
It is time for compromise.
Changing things to show compassion
Would go far in people’s eyes.

© Diane Tingen, 7/11/2011

MORMON TEMPLE WEDDING POLICY PETITION and Related LDS Hymn Parodies #26 and #27

I recently got an email from a lovely lady named Jean Bodie who has become a follower of my blogs, especially in connection with my hymn parodies.  I first met Jean at the ExMormon Foundation Conference in October 2010 where she gave a wonderful talk entitled Good Works in a Post-Mormon World.  Even though I didn't get to know her very well then, I felt an immediate kinship with her as a ExMormon woman.  Since then, though, we have become Facebook friends and have exchanged several messages that have further cemented my opinion of her, and I now consider her a very good friend IRL.  I admire Jean's courage and conviction despite the struggles she has encountered since leaving Mormonism as illustrated very vividly in this video posted on YouTube (from the I Am an ExMormon website).  Jean currently serves as the Secretary of the ExMormon Foundation, and is involved in working on this petition as well as many other worthwhile activities.

In the recent email I received from Jean, she asked if I would write two hymn parodies highlighting the issues that are addressed in the Mormon Temple Wedding Policy Petition which seeks to change the policy of the Mormon Church requiring people who decide to first have civil weddings to wait for a year before they are allowed to have their Temple weddings.  She told me that she wanted to use these hymn parodies in varoius ways to support the petition, including possibly being sung publicly during the time when the petition will be delivered to Mormon Church leaders in October 2011.  In communicating with Jean about this (and reading the information contained on the petition website), I began to see that this is an important issue and a compromise that the Mormon Church should make - and since it became so obvious to me that this policy is unfair to non-members and others who cannot attend temple weddings, I agreed to write the hymn parodies.  Because Jean gave me the inspiration for these hymn parodies and provided various possible lyrics to me (some of which I used), I have given her credit on these hymn parodies as well. 

Of note, of course, is the fact that in countries other than the United States, this policy does not apply.  In such countries as Latin America and throughout Europe, people are allowed to be married civilly first and then soon after that to be sealed in a Mormon Temple.  Why should the United States and Canada be any different?  After all, from what I have been able to ascertain, there is no doctrinal backup for this tenuous position taken by the Mormon Church.  In short, it is exclusionary and discriminatory against those who are not members of the Mormon Church or who do not have recommends enabling them to enter Mormon Temples.

While discussing the issues surrounding this petition with Jean by email, and commenting that sometimes when something doesn't directly affect people, some tend to shrug it off, Jean very eloquently replied as follows: 

"As you said, if something doesn’t directly affect people they can just shrug it off.  We have to make people realize that it really DOES affect them; it can affect anyone – children, non-endowed members, non-tithe paying members, ‘unworthy’ members, and Ex-Members. Then it can affect anyone who is not a Mormon and that is the majority of people in the world. Why the heck are they building temples all over the world when so few people can enter? The temples are the brainwashing centers of the cult. It is so obvious from what goes on inside and all the Masonic symbols on the buildings, even the new ones. If it wasn’t part of their brainwashing/occult stuff, wouldn’t you think that now with all the negative publicity that they would be leaving out those Masonic symbols?"

"We also need Mormons to understand that we are not trying to take away their right to be married in the temple, if that is their choice, and that we are not asking for all the above who are excluded to be allowed in their temples. It is just a case of removing the penalty; there is just no need for it except as a means of control – get the couple into the closest brainwashing center to make those scary covenants so that they have them by the short hairs."

I hope that you will take the time to consider this important issue and visit the website dedicated to the Mormon Temple Wedding Policy Petition - and if you are so inclined, that you will sign it.  It is only through making issues heard that they are ever changed.  Indeed, the old adage that says "The squeaky wheel gets the grease" is very true.

Below are the two hymn parodies on this issue.  As a note, these hymn parodies were written from a Christian point of view even though I consider myself an Agnostic now.  But it seems rather obvious to me that this is a universal issue, regardless of a person's religious affiliations or inclinations, and it is one that needs to be addressed.

I SIT OUTSIDE THE TEMPLE 

Sung to the tune of I Love to See the Temple, #95

I sit outside the temple,
My daughter’s getting wed.
I long to be there with her,
To hear their vows be said.
But I can’t go in this house of God,
A place where few can enter,
Even though I worship Jesus Christ,
Oh yes, he is my Savior.

I know the path she’s chosen,
But such a special day,
Should not be so exclusive,
This is the price I pay
For not worshipping the way she does,
Since I am not a Mormon,
But if there was just some other way
That felt much more like heaven.

The temple’s very sacred
To Mormons everywhere,
But weddings without families
Seems totally unfair.
But I sit outside the temple now,
And think about the wedding,
Trying hard to wait here patiently,
Although my heart is aching.

If only they would hear me,
And change the way it’s done,
Allow a civil wedding
And then the temple one.
They would help keep families unified
Although they are not Mormon,
And if they would make this compromise,
They’d show that they are Christian.

© Diane Tingen and Jean Bodie, 7/4/2011


FAMILIES CAN BE TOGETHER FOREVER 

LDS Hymn Book, #300

I have a family here on earth,

They are so dear to me,

But they believe that I won’t be

With them eternally.

(Chorus)

Families can be together forever

In Christianity.

Though Mormons all believe

The doctrines they receive,

Yet I know the Lord still loves me, too,

I know the Lord still loves me, too.

I have a daughter and a son,

So special and unique.

But when they marry, I won’t hear

The vows that they will speak.

(Chorus)

Families can be together forever,

As Mormons testify.

But there’s a cruel ban,

Through Mormonism’s plan,

So I won't be able to attend

Because the Mormon Church won't bend.

© Diane Tingen and Jean Bodie, 7/5/2011

THE MORMONS WON'T OPEN THEIR EYES - LDS Hymn Parody #25

The hymn Before Thee, Lord, I Bow My Head reminds me of singing in my Ward Choir, growing up in Fresno, California. My mother was the Choir Director for several years when I was growing up, and I started singing in the Choir when I was only 12 years old.  My mother really liked to sing this particular hymn, probably because of the way it is arranged with the women singing first, and then the men repeating the lines.  So this hymn brings back some very good memories of my mother (who passed away in 1977 when I was only 25 years old).

My parody of this hymn highlights (again) the fact that Mormons (IMO) need to open their eyes and realize that the religion to which they adhere is built on a huge stack of lies. To me, that realization was a deal-breaker. Interestingly, some active Mormons (on various discussion boards) have actually asked me that since all religions have lies laced throughout them, why should Mormonism be any different? And I have replied that although that may be true, that doesn't make the lies acceptable, in any form. To me, accepting lies as the basis for a religion is rationalization at its core. Of course, the apologetic-type websites are the epitome of this mindset. If the Mormon Church is indeed the "one and only true church on the face of the earth," then why does it need so many Mormon Apologists out there? -- such as FAIR (Foundation for Apologetic Information and Research - http://www.fairlds.org) and FARMS (Foundation for Ancient Research and Mormon Studies - http://maxwellinstitute.byu.edu/). It just doesn't make sense to me. And one question seems to remain - if what the Prophet says is the bottom line ("When the Prophet speaks, the debate is over"), then shouldn't that be the only basis needed for belief? Not for me, of course, but for all the TBMs out there...

THE MORMONS WON'T OPEN THEIR EYES

Sung to the tune of Before Thee, Lord, I Bow My Head, #158

The Mormons won't open their eyes,
Though it's not true, no big surprise.
They just believe no matter what,
But in a web of lies they're caught.
Right from the start, it was a ruse.
Why can’t they see there’s no excuse
For the deceit and what they say,
All of the games the Mormons play.

Their Prophet dear named Joseph Smith
Created it, just one big myth.
The Mormon Church is just a fraud,
It’s not inspired, not Word of God.
What happened to integrity?
Why all the lies, dishonesty?
They work to dupe the ones they can,
A horrible, destructive plan.

All negatives they simply hide,
Actual truth, they can’t abide.
Don’t listen to the evidence,
Cause after all, it might make sense.
Believe by faith, and do not stray.
Free agency given away.
Obey it all, let’s get it straight,
The Prophet speaks, no more debate.

And so I try to make them see
The many lies so clear to me
Though it is hard to talk to them
When what I say they just condemn.
Why don’t they think and use their brains?
Simply content to stay in chains.
Their minds are numb, don’t need a sign,
All Mormons walk the party line.

© Diane Tingen, 7/4/2011

AND THE MORMONS JUST BELIEVE - LDS Hymn Parody #24

JUST BELIEVE.  Ah yes, that's what Mormons do, with almost a child-like naiveté.  They don't seem to care what evidence there is against their beliefs being true - they "just believe" anyway.

The tendency to "just believe" no matter what seems to be embedded in Mormons everywhere, and is (very cleverly) highlighted in a song entitled I Believe from the Book of Mormon Musical.  One of my favorite parts of that song is, "I am a Mormon, and dang it, a Mormon just believes."  IMO, that sums up the Mormon mindset, very succintly.

Another part of that song says, "Now I must be completely devout, I can't have even one shred of doubt."  Of course, that statement is true of Mormons as well - and I think that's one of the major causes of their rigidness.  If they have "even one shred of doubt," they seem to become even more immovable and inflexible, as though they are convinced that if they voice their concerns and doubts, then they will be struck down.  Personally, I think it's very important to be able to voice your concerns and doubts, and have someone reason through your questions with you.  My father, on the other hand, was a very dogmatic, pious Mormon who "just believed."  And when I would voice my concerns and doubts to him, he would tell me "not to feel that way" and to "just believe."  That seemed to be his reply for many things, and those types of responses were always very frustrating for me.

So the below hymn parody is my take on the Mormon tendency to simply "just believe," and I think it is very apropos set to the tune of Put Your Shoulder to the Wheel...

AND THE MORMONS JUST BELIEVE
Sung to the tune of Put Your Shoulder to the Wheel, #252

The church is full of mindless sheep,
Who seem to be naïve.
They simply do as they are told,
And the Mormons just believe.

(Chorus)
Yes, the Mormons just believe, it is true.
They are told the things to say and to do.
They all conform, it is the norm,
And the Mormons just believe.

The world outside may pressure them,
As they try to deceive.
But faithfully, they look away,
Yes, the Mormons just believe.

(Chorus)
And the Mormons just believe all the lies,
As they close their minds to truth in disguise.
It is a crock, that’s not a shock,
But the Mormons just believe.

With heart and soul, they follow close
All counsel they receive.
They’re told to jump, they ask how high,
Yes, the Mormons just believe.

(Chorus)

And the Mormons just believe what they’re told,
Though it’s obvious the lies they are sold.

No matter what, their mouths are shut,

For the Mormons just believe.

The web of lies is very clear,
But they cannot conceive
That all of it was just made up,
No, the Mormons just believe.

(Chorus)

And the Mormons just believe through it all,
Though it’s written very clear on the wall,
A pile of shit, it’s not legit,
But the Mormons just believe.

© Diane Tingen, 7/1/2011

In my opinion, this is a much better idea...

23?!!

Wow, I have now written 23 hymn parodies.  Can't believe it!!  When I started writing these, I figured I would just write a few and that would be it.  But for some reason, they just seem to keep coming to me.  Almost the minute I finish one, another one starts coming to me.  But in reality, I have pretty much gotten hooked on writing these - plus it's very cathartic for me.

Something funny.  In response to a post on the Sharing the Gospel through Social Media page on Facebook (which was put up to honor Joseph Smith on the 167th anniversary of his death on June 27 - and his supposed martyrdom), I posted one of my hymn parodies, entitled "Who is the Man?"  This hymn parody is set to the tune of Praise to the Man, #27 (which IMO glorifies Joseph Smith almost to the point of deity).  Someone (obvious TBM) commented that it must have taken me a long time to write that hymn parody, that it wasn't very clever, and that I should be doing something more productive with my time.  Another TBM commented, though, that although it is obvious that I have "mad writing skills" (which I took as a big compliment), I am misusing my talents for this purpose.  Oh, well... can't please everyone, now can you?

As numbers go, 23 apparently has some significance - and even an "enigma."  According to the linked Wikipedia article, there is some interesting information about the number 23:

23 Enigma - refers to the belief that most incidents and events are directly connected to the number 23, some modification of the number 23, or a number related to the number 23.

The 23 Phenomena - Robert Anton Wilson cites William S. Burroughs as being the first person to believe in the 23 enigma. Wilson, in an article in Fortean Times, related the following story:  "I first heard of the 23 enigma from William S Burroughs, author of Naked Lunch, Nova Express, etc. According to Burroughs, he had known a certain Captain Clark, around 1960 in Tangier, who once bragged that he had been sailing 23 years without an accident. That very day, Clark’s ship had an accident that killed him and everybody else aboard. Furthermore, while Burroughs was thinking about this crude example of the irony of the gods that evening, a bulletin on the radio announced the crash of an airliner in Florida, USA. The pilot was another Captain Clark and the flight was Flight 23."

23 Skidoo - popularized in the early 1920s and means "it's time to leave while the getting is good." It appeared in newspapers as early as 1906.

The Number 23 - Movie starring Jim Carrey (released in 2007), about a man who becomes obsessed with the number 23 while reading a book of the same title that seems to be about his life.

There is more interesting information about the number 23 on this Wikipedia page.  I really like Wikipedia - in my opinion, it is a great compilation of information with reliable references noted for everything on the website.  But someone else on the Facebook page that I mentioned above criticized me for relying on what Wikipedia says (and LOL'd me for it).  That comment was in response to some information I posted about Parley P. Pratt and his murder (and supposed martyrdom).  As I told this person, if she doesn't like Wikipedia, then use Google for some other source, or read a book, or do something other than just accept whatever the Mormon Party Line dictates.  After all, it is historical fact.

I'm not sure how many more of these hymn parodies I will write, but since all the ones I've written so far have come fairly quickly, I will probably write several more.  And maybe I'll look into recording all of these hymn parodies on a CD.  Who knows?  But it's obvious I'm not going to follow the philosophy of 23 Skidoo...

Apparently, the sky's the limit (for at least, the Ex-Mormon Hymn Book)...