Mormonism Schism: (I DON’T WANT NO) MORMONISM - Song Parody of a Rolling Stones Classic

Sunday, September 6, 2015

(I DON’T WANT NO) MORMONISM - Song Parody of a Rolling Stones Classic

Here's another ExMormon song parody, this one to a Rolling Stones classic - (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction. My favorite type of music is classic rock (carried over from my teenage years) so naturally my mind goes to those types of songs to parody.

I've just about reached my max with parodying LDS Hymns (since I've written 118 LDS Hymn parodies so far and any ideas for the remaining field are becoming scarce), so I'm glad my mind has gone to such great classic rock and roll to help me carry on my parodies. So here's a big thank you to Tom Petty, The Who, The Eagles, and now the Rolling Stones for providing me with such great inspiration - and a big thank you to Mormonism as well for making it so easy. After all, the subject matter is ripe for the picking!!

And like this meme from my other blog - ExMormon Hymn Book - says...

This new song parody emphasizes the fact that after discovering all the lies laced throughout my lifelong religion (until I was 54 years old), I DON'T WANT NO MORMONISM anymore!! It irritates me that it took me that long to come to realization that Mormonism is built on a stack of lies made up by Joseph Smith and then perpetuated by others throughout the years - that it is a total fraud - and then, after that realization began to sink in, that it took me even longer to come to terms with that fact and actually get away.

But get away I finally did, and I've never been happier in my life. It feels so good to be free of the cognitive dissonance created in my mind by trying to rationalize my way through the bogus doctrine and sordid history. Plus I'm finally living an authentic life, which is a huge reward all on its own.

SO NO... I DON'T WANT NO MORMONISM!!

(I DON’T WANT NO) MORMONISM

Sung to the tune of (I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction by the Rolling Stones

I don’t want no Mormonism,
I don’t want no Mormonism,
Got away, got away, got away, got away,
I don’t want no, I don’t want no

When I’m seeing all the lies,
And the Mormons tell me to believe,
They’re telling me more and more
About some bogus information,
Supposed to fog all of my perception,
I don’t want no, oh no, no, no,
Hey hey hey, that’s what I say

I don’t want no Mormonism,
I don’t want no Mormonism,
Got away, got away, got away, got away,
I don’t want no, I don’t want no

When I’m reading what they say,
And the Mormons try to tell me
How saved my soul can be
If I buy into what Mormonism sells,
‘Cause heaven is just for them,
I don’t want no, oh no, no, no,
Hey hey hey, that’s what I say

I don’t want no Mormonism,
I don’t want no Mormonism,
Got away, got away, got away, got away,
I don’t want no, I don’t want no

When examining the church,
And I doubted this and not trusted that,
And I tried to make some sense,
It hit me Mormonism’s claims are really quite weak,
I’m no longer on a losing streak,
I don’t want no, oh no, no, no
Hey hey hey, that's what I say

I don’t want no, I don’t want no,
I don’t want no Mormonism,
No Mormonism, no Mormonism, no Mormonism

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MY EXIT FROM MORMONISM

As a preface to my thoughts about Mormonism (and my exit from my lifelong religion), I would like to share the following quote:

"Well, it's either true or false. If it's false, we're engaged in a great fraud. If it's true, it's the most important thing in the world. Now, that's the whole picture. It is either right or wrong, true or false, fraudulent or true."

President Gordon B. Hinckley,
Interview, "The Mormons,"
PBS Documentary, April 2007

In essence, after researching the roots of Mormonism, which obviously form its foundation, as well as examining its doctrine in depth, I have concluded that it is a great fraud. Having been born and raised in the Mormon Church, and remaining LDS until my early 50's, facing that realization was very difficult and was not done lightly.

SOME BACKGROUND:
In the Summer of 2001, I went on a Mormon Church History Tour. Before going, I decided to do some research so I would know more about what occurred at the key places when we visited them. But that was the beginning of the end for me as I discovered more and more of the sordid history of the Mormon Church. Soon, I began to realize that Joseph Smith made the whole thing up and that the Mormon Church is built on an enormous stack of lies. Sadly, I also began to realize that I had allowed the Mormon Church to pull the wool over my eyes for a very long time. But even with that realization, it took me quite a while longer to finally break away because of how intricately my life was tied up in Mormonism and how long I had been blinded by the lies Mormonism perpetuates (which, of course, is what they are counting on).

But finally, I did break away - and I have now been Mormonism Free since 2004. What I have realized during the ensuing years is that my intellectual curiosity was squelched by Mormonism. Being told to "have faith" and "just believe" was very detrimental to my psyche, particularly since so much made little sense. Trying to rationalize through everything had a negative effect on me as well, making me very confused and uncomfortable. Since that time, I have discovered that these types of feelings are called "cognitive dissonance" (a feeling of discomfort when simultaneously holding two or more conflicting ideas, beliefs, values or emotional reactions). Cognitive dissonance is discussed in greater length in a book I have written which is now available on Kindle. Since leaving Mormonism behind, I have grown so much and have discovered who I really am - and that is a tremendous gift.

As mentioned above, a book I have written is now available on Kindle. My book (entitled "Closing the Door on Mormonism: The AHA!! Moments that Triggered my Awakening") chronicles my very long journey through and away from Mormonism and discussed many of the issues that had plagued me for many years. It also contains some poems that I have written about my views concerning various aspects of Mormonism as well as discussions relative to the issues that led to my decision to eventually disassociate myself from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

In sharing my opinions and the information I have uncovered, it is my hope that I can in some small way help others by offering some insights into issues that many Mormons undoubtedly face in determining whether or not their faith has been misplaced.

For those of you who are thinking, "Oh, those Ex-Mormons - they can leave the church but they just can't seem to leave it alone," I offer this quote:

"Some of you are probably thinking, 'Why don't you just leave them (the Mormons) alone?' So I ask you, if you saw a thirsty man drinking water from a well you knew to be poisoned, would you let him continue to drink or would you guide him to a safe well?" ~Christopher Miller

While I'm sure that active Mormons (TBMs) and the Mormon Church itself would be much happier if people who have left the church kept their opinions to themselves, I cannot do that. If I can help one person to see the lies that are laced throughout Mormonism, then I will feel that my efforts have not been in vain.

As you will note, I have written many LDS Hymn Parodies (to date, 111 and counting), all of which are posted on my other blog - http://exmormonhymnbook.blogspot.com/
On that blog, you will also find an alphabetical listing of all the hymn parodies I have written.

Favorite Quotes

"The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off." ~Gloria Steinem
"To sin by silence when they should protest makes cowards of men.” ~Abraham Lincoln
"Some things that are true are not very useful." Boyd K. Packer
"I have a hard time with historians, because historians idolize the truth." ~Boyd K. Packer
"It's impossible to reach good conclusions with bad information... We're all entitled to our own opinions, but none of us can afford to be wrong in our facts." ~Mort Crim
"...just remember, it's not a lie if you believe it." ~George Costanza (Seinfeld)