HOTEL MORMONISM - ExMormon Song Parody of Another Eagles Classic

This song parody basically wrote itself with very little effort from me.  Of course, it's a great song to begin with - one of my favorite Eagles songs - and I've thought for a long time that it would lend itself well to creating an LDS song parody.  So thanks to the Eagles for the original song and music... and thanks to the Mormon Church for the inspiration!!

HOTEL MORMONISM

Sung to the tune of Hotel California

I was born and raised Mormon, no choice for me then,

Brainwashing successful, said Amen and Amen.
And I never would question, I learned to just go along,
My brain was empty and my thoughts were dim,
But I could see it was wrong.

There I stood in the doorway, saw the light at last,
And I was thinking to myself
This could be nothing or this could be vast.
As I researched on Google, it would show me the way,
There were voices from the internet,
I thought I heard them say...

[Chorus]Goodbye to the Hotel Mormonism,
When you get a taste (when you get a taste),
Such a total waste.
Closing the rooms at the Hotel Mormonism,
Thanks to what’s out there (thanks to what's out here),
Google lays it bare.

My mind is definitely lifted, I saw how foolish I’ve been.
I found a lot of very blatant lies, lots of spin.
How they skirt all the issues, just duck and weave.
They’re told not to question, they’re told just believe.

So I stopped being Mormon, could not compromise,
I knew I hadn’t felt the spirit there since I found all the lies.
And still those voices are calling from far away,
Wake me up in the middle of the night,
Just to hear them say...

[Chorus]
Goodbye to the Hotel Mormonism,
When you get a taste (when you get a taste),
Such a total waste.
Closing the rooms at the Hotel Mormonism,
Thanks to what’s out there (thanks to what's out here),
Google lays it bare.

And now I can see it, the brainwashing in place,
And I know they are all just prisoners there of their own device.
And in the Mormon chapel, they gather once again,
They listen to the programming, and they just all say Amen.

Last thing I remember, I was running for the door,
I had to find the passage back to the place I was before.
"Relax," said the Bishop, "We are programmed to receive.
You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave!"

© Diane Tingen, 11/13/18