OH, HOLY CRAP, IT'S FILLED WITH LIES - LDS Hymn Parody #60

So here's my 60th LDS Hymn Parody... with no signs of stopping...

Pretty self-explanatory... follows my recurring theme that Mormonism is just a pile of lies, made up by Joseph Smith and perpetuated by many others since his time...

OH, HOLY CRAP, IT’S FILLED WITH LIES

Sung to the tune of Oh, Holy Words of Truth and Love, #271

Oh, Holy Crap, it’s filled with lies,
The Mormonism fraud,
And though they say it was restored,
It did not come from God.

(Chorus)
It is a total fraud,
Nothing but a façade.
The lies revealed, no more concealed,
No doubt it’s a total fraud.

It was made up by Joseph Smith,
A charlatan supreme.
Perpetuated through the years,
Just like a Ponzi scheme.

(Chorus)
It is a total fraud,
Nothing but a façade.
The lies revealed, no more concealed,
No doubt it’s a total fraud.

I was a Mormon through and through
Until I found the lies.
And now I find myself appalled,
Dismay I can’t disguise.

(Chorus)
It is a total fraud,
Nothing but a façade.
The lies revealed, no more concealed,
No doubt it’s a total fraud.

I wish the Mormons weren’t so blind,
That they would take a look
At what they’re told to just believe,
Examine every nook.

(Chorus)
For it is just a fraud,
Nothing but a façade.
The lies revealed, no more concealed,
No doubt it’s a total fraud.

But sadly, Mormons just believe,
Don’t research critically.
Accepting what they’re told is true,
They follow dutifully.

(Chorus)
But it is just a fraud,
Nothing but a façade.
The lies revealed, no more concealed,
No doubt it’s a total fraud.

© Diane Tingen, 02/29/2012

I'M FREE FROM MORMONISM NOW - LDS Hymn Parody #59

Another LDS Hymn Parody... #59... one away from my current goal of 60!!

This one is very self-explanatory, so I won't go into a long, detailed preface.  Suffice it to say that I'm absolutely thrilled to be away from Mormonism... and finally free to just be ME...

I’M FREE FROM MORMONISM NOW
Sung to the tune of God Loved Us, So He Sent His Son, #187

I’m free from Mormonism now,
And to it all, I won’t kowtow.
I saw the lies throughout it all,
My testimony’s quick downfall.

The Mormon Church is in my past,
So happy to be free at last.
It is not true, a total fraud,
Though Mormons say it comes from God.

They close their eyes and just believe,
So faithful and yet so naïve.
Not facing what the truth might be,
But he is blind who will not see.

Through research I could see the lies,
Deception they cannot disguise.
Life’s short so we must seize each day,
Not in a false religion stay.

© Diane Tingen, 02/20/2012

THE PLAN IS IN PLACE - LDS Hymn Parody #58

OK, I'm on a roll again... and here is my 58th LDS Hymn Parody...

This one is very self-explanatory.  It follows a recurring theme of the mindless sheep just going along without thinking for themselves (you know, like Come, Come Ye Sheep), which I'm sure is part of "the plan" created by Joseph Smith and perpetuated by many others since his time...

THE PLAN IS IN PLACE
Sung to the tune of The Lord is my Light, #89

The plan is in place, the sheep must obey,
So keep them in line throughout every day.
They must show compliance in every detail
Because Mormonism cannot ever fail.

(Chorus)
The plan… is in place…
And all the sheep… must obey.
Just don’t give them space,
So they will not go astray.

The plan is in place, what more can we say?
Get them to submit and money they’ll pay.
You know Mormonism is simply a fraud,
But they will comply if they think it’s from God.

(Chorus)
The plan… is in place…
And all the sheep… must obey.
Just don’t give them space,
So they will not go astray.

You know Joseph Smith, a Prophet of God,
Created the plan, a brilliant façade.
And so we must follow what Joseph foresaw,
A bunch of mindless sheep chanting baa, baa, baa…

(Chorus)
The plan is in place…
And all the sheep… must obey.
Just don’t give them space,
So they will not go astray.

And so here we are, the Internet Age,
Where Google is king, an all-knowing sage.
We need to be certain the sheep remain blind,
Forbid them to research, the truth they won’t find.

(Chorus)
The plan is in place…
And all the sheep… must obey.
Just don’t give them space,
So they will not go astray.

© Diane Tingen, 2/16/2012

MORMONS SAY THEIRS IS THE ONLY TRUE CHURCH - LDS Hymn Parody #57

When I was doing my research about the Mormon Church, its history and its doctrines, I began to realize that what I had heard growing up about the Mormon Church being a cult might actually be true.  Of course, when I was growing up and heard anyone say that the Mormon Church was a cult, I was adamant in my defense of it, saying "Oh no, it's not a cult."  Back then, though, I thought of cults as extremist organizations that require their members to wear weird clothing (or costumes), live in a commune of some sort, or stand on street corners chanting weird verbiage.  But those characteristics are not what makes a cult a cult.  It's their belief system, usually extreme, and always very rigid and inflexible.

So when I began to examine Mormonism very closely, I decided to read a few books about cults - and I very quickly came to the conclusion that Mormonism is, indeed, a cult.  After all, it fits all of the characteristics of being a cult.

I won't go into a lot of detail here since I delve into that topic in-depth in the book I wrote that is posted on this blog (in Chapter 11 - Is the Mormon Church a Cult?), but as stated there, one of the characteristics of a cult is EXCLUSIVISM - or in other words, a religion stating that it is the only true church and that adherence to its tenets is the only way to gain eternal salvation.  Does that sound familiar?  Of course it does... because that's Mormonism to a T.  Interestingly, that premise is also expounded by the Jehovah Witnesses and other religions.  

Here is an interesting article on cults (You Might be in a Cult if...), that discusses the characteristics of cults, including Mormonism.  And here is another article discussing why Mormonism is a cult (http://www.believeallthings.com/5303/mormonism-cult/).

www.howcultswork.com

The philosophy of Exclusivism has always bothered me - even when I was a devout member of the Mormon Church.  I always had trouble believing that only Mormons were going to gain eternal salvation "in the highest degree of the Celestial Kingdom."  I struggled with the concept that there is "only one way" to "get to heaven" or gain eternal salvation - and that only the Mormon Church provides that possibility.  Of course, the Mormons are very "generous" in that they say that those who do not accept Mormonism on this earth still have a chance in the Afterlife... and that's what temples are for, performing baptisms and other ordinances for the dead so that if they accept Mormonism in the Spirit World, then they can be exalted regardless of whether they were Mormon in this life.  Isn't that nice of the Mormon God?  What a guy, huh?!!

But of course, there's a catch... and my very TBM father used to preface that supposed doctrinal statement with saying that people's personalities and thought processes won't change after this life, so if they didn't accept the gospel here, then the likelihood of them accepting it in the Afterlife is very slim.  Kind of a disclaimer clause (and Mormonism is full of them).

And so, here is my 57th LDS Hymn Parody...

MORMONS SAY THEIRS IS THE ONLY TRUE CHURCH
Sung to the tune of Teach Me to Walk in the Light - #304

Mormons say theirs is the only true church,
And who am I to their doctrines besmirch.
But it’s apparent that it’s filled with lies,
Research, research may open their eyes.

It is through research that I found the truth,
Wish I had studied much more in my youth.
But I believed it as they said I should,
Rewind, rewind my life if I could.

Going along when they say just believe
Is what they want as they work to deceive.
Good little sheep, what the members should be,
Yielding, yielding their free agency.

It might be clear if they opened their eyes,
Truth so apparent, there’s no compromise.
Dishonesty manifested throughout,
Fiction, fiction, without any doubt.

© Diane Tingen, 02/14/2012

MORMONISM IS NOT TRUE - LDS Hymn Parody #56

Yes, I've definitely turned into a broken record... repeating myself, over and over and over again...  Mormonism is laced with lies... Mormonism is laced with lies... it's all lies... it's all lies... it's all lies!!!

And perhaps I'm even beating a dead horse... but I've gotten to the point in my "apostasy" from the Mormon Church where I just can't keep quiet about all the lies and deception laced throughout Mormonism.  Besides, the ExMormon Hymn Book just seems to write itself...

So here is my 56th LDS Hymn Parody...

MORMONISM IS NOT TRUE

Sung to the tune of God of Power, God of Right - #20

Mormonism is not true,
I’m so glad I got a clue.
Turned away from all the lies,
Pure deception, no disguise.

Joseph Smith was just a fraud,
Did not speak the Word of God.
Made it up right from the start,
Bogus doctrine, off the chart.

Doing research on my own
Showed me lies I can’t condone.
Truth is what I seek in life,
Not a church that brings me strife.

Glossing over what is true
Cannot be what’s best for you.
All the lies can’t be ignored,
Seeking truth its own reward.

© Diane Tingen, 02/12/2012

WHY DO THE MORMONS JUST BELIEVE? LDS Hymn Parody #55

Just believe.  That is what the Mormons are told to do.  My very TBM father used to tell me that when I would question something or express any doubts - "Well, you better believe it because it's true."  Really?

Sadly, my father is gone now - he passed away in 2006, about a-year-and-a-half after I left the Mormon Church.  I never told him that I had left because he was getting very old (he was 92 when he died), and I didn't want to upset him or cause any harm to our relationship.  And since he lived in Utah and I lived in California, it was rather easy to keep the info from him.  Naturally, though, the fact that I was not able to be completely upfront with him bothers me - but on the other hand, remembering just how inflexible and unyielding he was about Mormonism (and everything else) makes me remember exactly why I didn't tell him.  Oh, well...

Since leaving the Mormon Church, I have often wondered why intelligent people actually believe in Mormonism.  I mean, there's a lot of college-educated people who are very devout Mormons.  Even when confronted with actual evidence of the lies and deceit passed off as truth by Joseph Smith, and perpetuated by many others since his time, so many Mormons choose to "just believe." 

Of course, that mindset is what makes the song entitled "I Believe" from The Book of Mormon Musical so funny.  There's some classic lines in that song...

Ever since I was a child

I tried to be the best

So what happened?

My family and friends

All said I was blessed

So what happened?

It was supposed to be all so exciting

To be teaching of Christ across the sea

But I allowed my faith to be shaken

Oh, what's the matter with me?

I've always longed to help the needy

To do the things I never dared

This was the time for me to step up

So then why was I so scared?

A warlord who shoots people in the face

What's so scary about that?

I must trust that my Lord is mightier

And always has my back

Now I must be completely devout

I can't have even one shred of doubt

I believe that the Lord God created the universe

I believe that He sent His only Son to die for my sins

And I believe that ancient Jews built boats and sailed to America

I am a Mormon

And a Mormon just believes

You cannot just believe part way

You have to believe in it all

My problem was doubting the Lord's will

Instead of standing tall

I can't allow myself to have any doubt

It's time to set my worries free

Time to show the world what Elder Price is about

And share the power inside of me

I believe that God has a plan for all of us

I believe that plan involves me getting my own planet

And I believe that the current President of the Church,

Thomas Monson, speaks directly to God

I am a Mormon

And dangit, a Mormon just believes

I know that I must go and do

The things my God commands

I realize now why He sent me here

If you ask the Lord in faith

He will always answer you

Just believe in Him and have no fear

(General, we have an intruder. He just walked right into camp.)

I believe that Satan has ahold of you

I believe that the Lord God has sent me here

And I believe that in 1978 God changed His mind about black people

You can be a Mormon

A Mormon who just believes

(What the fuck is this?)

And now I can feel the excitement

This is the moment I was born to do

And I feel so incredible

To be sharing my faith with you

The scriptures say that if you ask in faith

If you ask God Himself, you'll know

But you must ask Him without any doubt

And let your spirit grow

I believe that God lives on a planet called Kolob

I believe that Jesus has His own planet as well

And I believe that the Garden of Eden was in Jackson County, Missouri

If you believe, the Lord will reveal it

And you'll know it's all true, you'll just feel it

You'll be a Mormon
And, by gosh, a Mormon just believes

Very funny... and oh, so true... 

Of course, to "just believe" is essentially (blind) faith.  On http://www.merriam-webster.com/, faith (in a religious sense) is defined as (1) belief and trust in and loyalty to God; (2) belief in the traditional doctrines of a religion; (3) firm belief in something for which there is no proof; (4) complete trust; and (5) something that is believed especially with strong convictions; especially: a system of religious beliefs.

But believing something despite the evidence against it being true - is that faith?  I think not.  I've said it before and I'll say it again and again... when what a person is told to believe has actual evidence against it being true, then it's not faith anymore, but rather denial.  And as far as I'm concerned, the Mormons are deeply steeped in major denial.

And so, without further ado, here is my 55th LDS hymn parody...

WHY DO THE MORMONS JUST BELIEVE?
Sung to the tune of God Moves in a Mysterious Way, #285

Why do the Mormons just believe
And swallow all the lies?
It’s hard to think they’re that naïve,
So tight they close their eyes.

It makes no sense at all to me
To simply go along.
Just parroting compliantly
What they should know is wrong.

Why can’t they see that Joseph Smith
Was nothing but a con.
And Mormonism is a myth,
The lies go on and on.

I know without a single doubt,
I’ve sifted through the lies.
So clear when it is sorted out,

For truth, no compromise.

© Diane Tingen, 2/10/2012

I KNOW THAT MORMONISM FAILS - LDS Hymn Parody #54

Two LDS Hymn Parodies in one day.  My January dry spell seems to be over...

In reflecting back on the research I have done about Mormonism, the following two quotes by President Gordon B. Hinckley always enter my mind:

"Each of us has to face the matter -- either the Church is true, or it is a fraud. There is no middle ground. It is the Church and Kingdom of God, or it is nothing."

President Gordon B. Hinckley, General Conference, April 2003

"Well, it's either true or false. If it's false, we're engaged in a great fraud. If it's true, it's the most important thing in the world. Now, that's the whole picture. It is either right or wrong, true or false, fraudulent or true."

President Gordon B. Hinckley, Interview "The Mormons," 

PBS Documentary, April 2007

So true.  Either the Mormon Church is true or it is false.  There is no middle ground.  And from my research, I have come to the conclusion that it is false.  An enormous fraud.  A gigantic stack of cards.  Made up by Joseph Smith for his own purposes, and perpetuated by others through the years.

Of course, Gordon B. Hinckley had some other "great" quotes, like the one about the "couplet" that goes, "As man is, God once was; as God is, man may become," which he told Larry King he didn't know if the Mormons believe that or not.  Another link in a long chain of lies.  I'm sure he would have made Joseph Smith very proud.

And so, here is my latest LDS hymn parody...

I KNOW THAT MORMONISM FAILS
Sung to the tune of I Know That My Redeemer Lives #136

I know that Mormonism fails,
In every one of its details.
And so I’d like to scream and shout,
It’s false beyond a shred of doubt.

(Chorus)
I cannot live the Mormon Way,
They bow their heads and just obey.
But if they’d open up their eyes,
The lies they just might recognize.

I know that none of it makes sense,
And there is not a good defense
For all the lies that they disperse
As they recite each scripture verse.

(Chorus)
I used to love the Mormon Church,
But then I did my own research.
It was made up by Joseph Smith,
So clear that it is just a myth.

So long I tried to just believe,
Tried to have faith, could not conceive
That it is laced with such deceit,
With lies and falsehoods it’s replete.

(Chorus)
For none of what they say is true,
And so my disillusion grew.
Could not believe it anymore,
And so, I finally closed the door.

I know that it is filled with lies
And there can be no compromise
Because the truth is what I seek,
And all their arguments are weak.

(Chorus)
With Mormonism I am through
Because I know it isn’t true.
They say that it’s the Word of God,
But now I know it’s just a fraud.


© Diane Tingen, 2/5/2012

I KNOW THAT JOSEPH LIED - LDS Hymn Parody #53

Sometimes I feel like a broken record because when l discuss my Exit from Mormonism, I always talk about the fact that there are so many LIES laced throughout Mormonism. Perhaps because I was entrenched in Mormonism for so many years, I have not been able to let go of how deceived I felt when I discovered the real truth - and the depth of the LIES.

As I've discussed in many other places on this blog, I was a devout Mormon for over 50 years before beginning to discover that the religion on which I based my life is actually a WEB OF LIES, and because of that, it still grates on my nerves enormously that I was duped for so long. Of course, I do blame myself to a certain extent - and ask myself many questions. Such as... Why did I just "go along" for so many years instead of performing in-depth research earlier in my life? Why wasn't I more offended by the obvious "prohibition" on intellectual curiousity? Why didn't I rebel against the obvious way in which women are told to be "submissive" and are essentially subjugated? Why did I buy into being told that when I began to feel that way, I just needed to be "more humble"?  So many questions...

I really envy others who have been able to work their way out of Mormonism at younger ages. I also envy those who, after discovering the lies or that the religion doesn't work for them, have been able to just put it aside and not dwell on it anymore. Of course, I do realize that with the Internet Age in full swing now, and with the ease of finding information via Google and other search engines, it is a lot easier now to uncover the LIES. But even so, a person has to be open to discovering the LIES in order to recognize them. So I also ask myself if I had been born later, would I have been more open to indulging my curiosity and doing actual research in my teens or 20's? A conundrum, for sure.

But the crux of the matter is that there is no doubt in my mind at all that Mormonism is a fraud. That fact is so clear to me that it practically screams in my head. I have no doubt but that Mormonism started off as a hoax created by Joseph Smith for his own purposes (mostly likely power and money, both of which facilitated his practice of polygamy and polyandry), and has been perpetuated by many others ever since its invention in the 1800's.

And that leads to my latest hymn parody - which is about, of course, the LIES.

I KNOW THAT JOSEPH LIED
Sung to the tune of I Need Thee Every Hour - #98

I know that Joseph lied,
So very clear.
And I could not remain,
To lies adhere.

(Chorus)

A liar, yes, a liar,
Nothing but a liar.
Oh, why can’t Mormons see it?
He conned us all.

I know that Joseph lied,

Did not see God.
And so the Mormon Church
Is just a fraud.

(Chorus)
A liar, yes, a liar,
Nothing but a liar.
Oh, why can’t Mormons see it?
So very clear.

I know that Joseph lied,
There is no doubt.
Though once I did believe
And was devout…

(Chorus)
I know he was a liar,
Nothing but a liar.
The man was not a Prophet,
So very clear.

I know that Joseph lied,
For his own ends.
And all the doctrine taught
My mind offends.

(Chorus)

A liar, yes, a liar,
Joseph was a liar.
Oh, why can’t Mormons see it?
So very clear.

Diane Tingen, 2/5/2012