ONWARD, ALL EX MORMONS - LDS Hymn Parody #21

Even though I left the church a little over 7 years ago, it took me several years after that to begin to become vocal about my disaffection from Mormonism.  In fact, I didn't even visit any ExMormon type of websites until late 2008 - and I left the church in 2004.  Looking back at that time frame, I now realize that I could have benefited from the insights of others who had left the church - and not felt so alone in my disaffection.  But I also realize that the reason I did not go on those types of websites back then was because I thought the people there were "angry apostate" types, and weren't necessarily telling the real truth about Mormon history, teachings or doctrine - and since I was conditioned in all my years as a Mormon to avoid those types of situations, I held onto that mindset even after leaving Mormonism.  You know, the whole "Anti-Mormon Propaganda" spiel.  After all, the programming runs deep - and the brainwashing is difficult to counteract.

The first time I ever went on ExMormon.org (and the Recovery from Mormonism discussion board) was in December 2008.  I had gone to my brother's house for Thanksgiving dinner, and after dinner he wanted to show me all the genealogy he had submitted to the Mormon Church's genealogy website, http://www.familysearch.org/.  Our mother had done a lot of genealogy before her death in 1977 (going back into the 1100's or so), and after her death my brother took it over and did quite a bit more, going back even further.  Of course, with the advent of the internet, he eventually submitted all that both he and my mother had done, and he was very proud of his accomplishments.  It was quite interesting to see how far back he had gotten some of our lines, and the fact that our ancestral lines include Dutch, English, French and Swedish blood.  Also, included in our ancestors are Princess Diana and some other royal blood, which I also found interesting.

In the process of showing me our genealogy on the Mormon Church's genealogy website,  http://www.familysearch.org/, he taught me how to find my way around it.  So a couple of weeks later, I decided to go back on the website and look at Joseph Smith's pedigree chart.  Of course, I had already done quite a bit of research about Joseph Smith and knew about his polygamous ways (as well as the fact that at the time of his death, he was married to 33 women).  In fact, issues related to Polygamy had always bothered me, and during my research, I had discovered some of the truth behind Polygamy, including the fact that Joseph Smith had married 10 teenage girls (including one as young as 14 named Helen Mar Kimball) and the fact that he lied about the practice of polygamy numerous times.  In fact, one of my favorite quotes of Joseph Smith is this one: 

"...What a thing it is for a man to be accused of committing adultery, and having seven wives, when I can only find one. I am the same man, and as innocent as I was fourteen years ago; and I can prove them all perjurers." (History of the Church, vol 6, p. 411) 

This statement was made by Joseph Smith as he was preaching from the stand in Nauvoo on Sunday, May 26, 1844.  This was a month before his death - and at that time, Joseph Smith had 33 plural wives.

Was it okay for him to lie about his practice of polygamy?  No, it wasn't.  In fact, on June 8, 1844, when the Nauvoo Expositor newspaper was printed and distributed, and the story ran publicly exposing the truth about Joseph Smith's practice of polygamy, was it okay for Joseph Smith to order the destruction of the printing press and the burning of the building in which it was housed?  No, definitely not.  Those acts are why he was arrested and why he was incarcerated in Carthage Jail, where he was killed by gunshot from a mob on June 27, 1844.  Of course, when I discovered this, I realized that Joseph Smith was not a martyr, but rather a criminal.  For him to be "praised" and held out as a martyr by the Mormon Church is extremely deceptive.

And after polygamy was outlawed and the Manifesto was issued in 1890, was it okay for other Mormon prophets and apostles to lie about their involvement in polygamy?  No, definitely not.  They agreed to stop polygamy in order for Utah to become a state, but history shows that they continued to practice it until at least 1910.  And when they were questioned about it, they simply lied. 

When I began to look around this genealogy website (created and operated by the Mormon Church), I saw all the women's names who had married Joseph Smith.  Several of the names had links - and when I drilled down below these names, I discovered that they were married to other men when they married Joseph Smith.  This was the beginnings of my discovery of Polyandry, and that aspect of the practice of Polygamy truly stunned me.  Truly, I was flabbergasted, not only due to my discovery of this, but again, because I had never in all my years as a Mormon, heard anything about Polyandry before.  This aspect of my research is discussed in great detail in the book I have written, which is found on this blog.

It was after that when I first went on http://www.exmormon.org/ - and I was guided there by a Google search which included a link to an article on Polyandry written by Bob McCue.  This article was a huge revelation for me, and although I had already left the church due to my many other issues, the information about Polyandry was an additional eye-opener in my disaffection from the Mormon Church.  To think that I was a member of the Mormon Church for 52 years and never knew about Joseph Smith marrying women who were already married to living husbands is mind-boggling to me.  But of course, the reason I didn't know is because the Mormon Church tries very hard to cover up this kind of information.  They say they don't hide it, that the history has always been open to whoever wants to know about it, but the reality is that the majority of members of the Mormon Church do not know about the details of most of what happened in the beginnings of Mormonism because they just don't talk about it.  And usually when they do hear about it, they write it off as "Anti-Mormon Propaganda."

After my first time visiting the website http://www.exmormon.org/, I went on their discussion board - Recovery from Mormonism.  Over the next year or so, I spent a good amount of time reading and commenting on various threads.  Eventually, I found http://www.postmormon.org/ and regularly visited their discussion board as well.  That is where I found out about the annual ExMormon Foundation Conference, and I went to one last year for the first time (October 2010).  It was great meeting a lot of the people with whom I had been exchanging messages on the discussion boards, and I consider many of these people to now be my very good friends. 

After that, I was invited to join a couple of Facebook discussion groups, and I have met some other amazing people on there - Former Mormons, PostMormons, ExMormons, others who are questioning Mormonism, and still others who know for certain that the church is not true but are still going to church because of family pressures (sometimes called Shadow Mormons).  I have become very close "cyber-friends" with many of these people, and am planning on meeting many of them at the next ExMormon Foundation Conference in October 2011. 

 It has been quite a journey over the past 3 years.  Through it all, I have seen myself evolve from what I would consider a Former Mormon woman who kept quiet about what I had discovered, not having reached a point where I felt comfortable expressing my views, to a full-blown ExMormon who is very vocal about what I consider to be a destructive religious organization that deals very fast and loose with the truth.

And so, here is my latest hymn parody... a tribute to ExMormons everywhere...

ONWARD, ALL EXMORMONS

Sung to the tune of Onward, Christian Soldiers, #246

Onward, all ExMormons,
We’re no longer sheep.
Done with just believing,
And the lies so deep.
Blind belief no longer,
Finally got a clue,
And with all our knowledge,
We know it’s not true.

(Chorus)

Onward, all ExMormons,
We’re no longer sheep.
Done with just believing,
And the lies so deep.

With the many issues
Struggling as we did,
It was quite disturbing
To find what they hid.
History very sordid,
Teachings so bizarre,
Done with the denial,
We have come so far.

(Chorus)

Onward, all ExMormons,
We’re no longer sheep.
Done with just believing,
And the lies so deep.

Joseph Smith, a liar,
Con man all the way,
Charlatan and shyster,
Deception, his forte.
He was not a martyr,
As the Mormons say.
Just a phony Prophet
Feeding on his prey.

(Chorus)

Onward, all ExMormons,
We’re no longer sheep.
Done with just believing,
And the lies so deep.

There are many others
Still within the cult,
Trapped by their denial,
And as a result,
We must try to help them
Sort through all the lies,
Maybe through our efforts
Fraud they’ll recognize.

(Chorus)

Onward, all ExMormons,
We’re no longer sheep.
Done with just believing,
And the lies so deep.

© Diane Tingen, 6/23/2011

WELCOME, WELCOME, BRAND NEW MEMBERS - LDS Hymn Parody #13

Another hymn parody.  This one is in tribute to the Mormon Mindset...
drinking the Kool-Aid...
being a good little Morgbot...
toeing the Mormon Party Line...   

The original hymn is one I remember singing in Sunday School a lot in my growing-up years.  Of course, I also learned how to play this hymn on the piano early on, and then on the organ when I became Ward Organist.  This hymn has an upbeat tempo and a catchy tune, which I have always liked.  The message, though, is something else...

In thinking about this hymn, I am reminded of the seemingly endless Sundays that I spent in church as a young girl, a teenager, a young woman, and then an adult.  Indoctrination, pure and simple.  But as much as I tried to "follow the program," it was difficult for me because I always questioned things, and even though I was given supposed answers, those "answers" were in reality simply the Mormon Party Line.  That's it... drink the Kool-Aid... and everything will be just fine...

If I had been true to myself, I would have left the church a lot sooner than I actually did - but until my final crisis of faith (which began when I was studying in preparation for going on a Mormon Church History Tour in the Summer of 2001), I was much too concerned with what I thought people would think of me.  Indeed, I was programmed very well, and was very much the good little Morgbot.  I was definitely drinking the Kool-Aid back then.  Oh, I had questioned things now and then, but I had also successfully placed all my issues on a shelf that I tried very hard not to disturb.  But in the Summer of 2001, that shelf simply became too stacked with issues to withstand the weight of it all.  That was the beginning of the end for me.

And so, my revision of this beloved Mormon hymn...

WELCOME, WELCOME, BRAND NEW MEMBERS
Sung to the tune of Welcome, Welcome, Sabbath Morning, #280

Welcome, welcome, brand new members,
Glad you bought the party line.
Hurry, hurry, drink the Kool-Aid,
Everything will be just fine.

Soon the Bishop will confront you,
Ask you questions, privately,
Pry and prod about your habits,
Nosing in continually.

(Chorus)

Welcome, welcome, brand new members,
Glad you bought the party line.
Hurry, hurry, drink the Kool-Aid,
Everything will be just fine.

Mormonism, unrelenting,
You will not be left alone.
Mormons will be at your doorstep,
Or they will be on the phone.

Pay your tithing, don’t drink coffee,
And of course, no alcohol.
Mind your P’s and Q’s completely,
Or the Bishop soon will call.

(Chorus)

Welcome, welcome, brand new members,
Glad you bought the party line.
Hurry, hurry, drink the Kool-Aid,
Everything will be just fine.

Pay attention to the Prophet,
Just accept his every word.
There are many things confusing,
And some things will seem absurd.

But if you just follow closely
Everything you’re told to do.
You won’t have the time to question
And you just won’t have a clue.

(Chorus)

Welcome, welcome, brand new members,
Glad you bought the party line.
Hurry, hurry, drink the Kool-Aid,
Everything will be just fine.

Do not research independent,
Only read what is approved.
Anti-Mormon propaganda
Is conjecture, can’t be proved.

And of course, you must not linger
Too much on the Internet.
There are many evils lurking
So beware and don't forget.

(Chorus)

Welcome, welcome, brand new members,
Glad you bought the party line.
Hurry, hurry, drink the Kool-Aid,
Everything will be just fine.

The true church, the one and only,
As restored by Joseph Smith.
And although it’s hard to swallow,
Don’t believe, it’s just a myth.
It is simple, just don't question,
Just accept what you are told,
Though it's really mumbo jumbo,
Buy the bill of goods we've sold.

(Chorus)
Welcome, welcome, brand new members,
Glad you bought the party line.
Hurry, hurry, drink the Kool-Aid,
Everything will be just fine.

© Diane Tingen, 6/13/2011

COME, COME YE SHEEP - LDS Hymn Parody #4

Well, these ExMormon hymn parodies just keep popping into my mind.  Someone recently left a comment on this blog saying that I should use my "talent" for revising the hymns in a more positive way, but clearly, I can't do that.  At least, not now.  Too many parodies still bouncing around in my brain for anything "positive" to take hold...  LOL

So here is my latest one - Come, Come Ye Saints ExMormon-ized.  Can't you just see the Mormon Tabernacle Choir singing this version?  Now, that would be priceless...

COME, COME YE SHEEP

Sung to the tune of Come, Come Ye Saints, #30

Come, come ye Sheep, just follow what we say,
Do not think for yourself.
It makes no sense, but throw your doubts away,
Put it all on your shelf.
Tis better far for us to voice
What you shall do, you have no choice.
So just shut down your brain and say,
Just obey, just obey.

Why should you be allowed to speak your mind?
We know best, just believe.
Though it is lies, you probably will find
It’s all meant to deceive.
Accept by faith what makes no sense,
And always come to our defense.
So follow close whate’er we say,
Just obey, just obey.

Don’t listen to the Antis who will say
It’s not true, don’t believe.
They may have found some stuff that we downplay,
But they work to deceive.
Apostates all, that’s what they are,
Detecting lies won't get them far.
And they’re all doomed, they’ve lost their way,
Won’t obey, won’t obey.

The Mormon Church, a cult right down the line,
But they say that’s not true.
It is God’s church, and so it is divine,
Gospel truth, through and through.
So if you pray, the light will come,
And then it won’t seem quite so dumb.
You must believe, don’t go astray,
Just obey, just obey.

© Diane Tingen, 5/31/2011

"BORN AND RAISED MORMON"

I used to very proudly say that I was "Born and Raised Mormon."  But now, that fact seems very detrimental to me.  Perhaps when a person is born and raised in any religion, they tend to just go along from an early age, accepting everything at face value.  Never digging deeper to find out what's really behind the curtain.  Never really thinking about it all or asking any in-depth questions.  Of course, that scenario may not be true for some "Born and Raised Mormons" or some people in other religions, but unfortunately, it was very true for me - and that is something of which I am not proud at all.  There's simply no excuse for ignorance.

Of course, there is the aspect of brainwashing involved.  Being programmed from a very early age.  Being told that something is true from the time of your earliest memories tends to distort reality and make what you are told seem absolutely real and genuine.  And since in the Mormon Church, people are told to only read and study materials that are "authorized," the extent of materials to which most Mormons are exposed is very limited.

Naturally, the term "propaganda" comes to mind.  Although the Mormon Church looks at anything written contrary to what the Mormon Church teaches to be "anti-Mormon propaganda" when much of it is simply highlighting the truth as it really is, pointing out the lies, deception and contradictions that are blatant within Mormon doctrine and history. 

But in reality, the Mormon Church is steeped in the "propaganda" realm.  The church dishes out "propaganda" on a regular basis to its members until their minds are so cluttered with it all that it is difficult to sort out what is true from what is not.  Fast and Testimony Meeting is a prime example of "propaganda" and "brainwashing."  Seeing all those people stand up in church on the first Sunday of every month and say the same rote phrases (like "I know the truth is true beyond a shadow of a doubt" and "I know that Joseph Smith was a Prophet of God") is a very calculated way of indoctrinating the masses and creating "sheeple," something Mormonism seems to have down to a science.

When I read the following quote, it really hit me:

"The oblique paradox of propaganda is that the lie in the throat becomes, by repetition, the truth in the heart."  ~John Grierson

Of course, this is what the Mormon Church is counting on.  Repeating deceitful church doctrines and teachings, over and over again.  And through this process, these fallacies seep into the core of all of its members.  If you tell a person something often enough and long enough, it becomes their reality - and to them, it is true.

It wasn't until 2001, a couple of months prior to going on a Mormon Church History tour, that I began to research the truth behind Mormonism.  At first, I simply wanted to know more about church history prior to going on the trip so I would be more "well-versed" when I visited the key places.  But once I began discovering the truth behind the facade, and I began to look at materials which shed new light on much of what I had believed since childhood, that I began to realize that what I had been told was simply not true. 

One by one, I began to discover the truth about polygamy, polyandry, the differing versions of the First Vision (totaling at least nine), the truth behind why Joseph Smith was arrested and incarcerated in Carthage Jail as well as his supposed "martyrdom," the Book of Mormon, the Book of Abraham, the Kinderhook Plates, Blacks and the Priesthood, and on and on - and as I did, I began to realize how blind I had been over the years.  At that point, the following quote began to take on new meaning - "There are none so blind as those who will not see." (Attributed to Thomas Chalkley, circa 1713, but most likely based on the Biblical verse in Jeremiah 5:21, "Hear now this, O foolish people, and without understanding; which have eyes, and see not; which have ears, and hear not.")

In everyone's lifetime, people occasionally come upon pivotal moments or crossroads.  As Robert Frost said in his poem "The Road Not Taken": 

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, 

And sorry I could not travel both 

And be one traveler, long I stood 

And looked down one as far as I could 

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair, 

And having perhaps the better claim, 

Because it was grassy and wanted wear; 

Though as for that the passing there 

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay 

In leaves no step had trodden black. 

Oh, I kept the first for another day! 

Yet knowing how way leads on to way, 

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh 

Somewhere ages and ages hence: 

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— 

I took the one less traveled by, 

And that has made all the difference.

Very poignant poem that makes a very profound point.  It reminds me of a few experiences in my life, but most vividly brings to mind my journey away from Mormonism. 

So from 2001 to 2004, I found myself at a very pivotal point in my life - a definite crossroads - as I struggled with what I had been taught and had believed my entire life.  At first, I was very confused as fear and doubt took over my psyche.  After all, I was ripping up and examining the very foundation of my life since Mormonism had always been practically my identity.  But at times, I would feel hope and wonderment, and that's what kept me going on the path toward final acceptance of the fact that I had been living a lie.  When I found the graphic rendering posted here, it really hit home since these are the emotions I dealt with during this time frame.

In the end, though, as I sorted through all of the information I had uncovered along with all of these emotions, I began to realize that I couldn't reverse the process through which I had gone.  I couldn't go back in time to return to the state of blissful ignorance I had dwelled in for so long.  Of course, when I was still Mormon, I had some questions and issues (such as the role of women in the church and what I perceived as a double standard), but I had successfully put those things on my "shelf" up until that point.  But as I came to terms with this newly-discovered information, I was unable to put anything more on my "shelf," and it all came tumbling down.

In looking back at my life, I do have some regrets.  One of my regrets is that I didn't become more intellectually curious at an earlier time in my life.  Perhaps if I had researched the doctrines, teachings and history of the Mormon Church in more detail and on an independent basis, not relying solely on what I was told or read from "authorized" sources, I would have discovered the truth much earlier.  Unfortunately, I spent 52 years as a Mormon simply because I paid too much attention to what they told me to believe.  One of my other regrets is that I did not tell my father that I had disassociated myself from the Mormon Church before he passed away.  He died in May 2006, and although I left the church in 2004, I never told him that I had left the church - and why.  Of course, since he was 90 years old in 2004, I knew that if I told him, that it would very possibly drive a wedge between us since he was very pious and dogmatic about Mormonism.  So that was my rationale.  And since he lived in Utah and I lived in California, it was rather easy to live that charade.

But still, although I regret not telling my father about my apostasy and why I left the church, I am grateful that I am now living a completely authentic life.  And of course, getting caught up in the "shoulda, woulda, coulda" mindset only succeeds in putting negative vibes in a person's life, so I have shed all of that and am moving forward with a positive attitude.  Finally being true to who I really am - and not living a lie.  And that's enough for me.

"APOSTATES" and "ANTI-MORMON PROPAGANDA"

The term "apostate" is a label with very negative connotations, like the term "anti" (as in "anti-Mormon propaganda").  In my opinion, using that label is one of the ways that the higher-ups try to control the masses.  Terming something "anti" makes all Mormons cringe, and they usually immediately condemn the person "spouting the anti-Mormon propaganda" as they begin to defend their religion.  Defending one's beliefs is fine as long as those beliefs are defendable, but in the case of most Mormons, they simply repeat what they are told to believe, not beliefs that they have formed through any independent study.

Since it is independent study from "unauthorized sources" that eventually led me away from Mormonism, I question even more than I would have previously as to why those sources are termed "unauthorized" when they do not tell lies, but rather the truth.  But then, since the Mormon Church tends to play very fast and loose with the truth, relying on its version of things is not wise.  Looking at that "directive" not to do "research from unauthorized sources" also brings up the very strong possibility that the Mormon Church is actually a cult since that is one of the characteristics of cultism.  If an organization is above board in their doctrines and teachings then research from "unauthorized sources" shouldn't make any difference.  But if that organization directs its members to only research and study from materials they authorize, red flags should go up immediately.

So many Mormons truly believe that looking at "unauthorized" information leads to APOSTASY, and since they are told that apostasy is the most abhorrent sin, they steer clear of any materials considered to be "anti," including information that would shed light on the reality behind it all.  But if indeed "the Glory of God is intelligence," then true believing Mormons are also denying the validity of that statement.

Sadly, most Mormons will never be able to look beyond the "anti" label to get to the core of the lies perpetuated by the LDS Church.  The internet contains links to a plethora of information that shows without any doubt that the Mormon Church is not true, but most Mormons will never even read or consider this information because of the "anti" label given to it.  Truth is but a click away -- and to paraphrase a popular Mormon scripture, "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of Google."

But while Mormonism is obviously built on an elaborate web of lies, so many people continue to go along with it, defending its deceptions and contradictions, claiming to believe in it all "by faith."  I simply don't understand their logic, because when the facts contradict what a person is told to believe by faith, it is not faith anymore, but rather denial.

I am so glad that I finally saw the light and realized that the Mormon Church is not only untrue, but that its teachings and doctrines are detrimental to my mental health and well-being.  Blindly following things that you are told to believe is not healthy.  Doing your own research and deciding on your own is the best course of action for any person.  Rationalizing out the lies, deceptions, cover-ups and contradictions only leads to accepting things that eat away at your ability to think for yourself and formulate your own opinions. 

Making a 180 and turning away from Mormonism was the best thing I ever did.  I do not regret for one second being an "apostate" despite its negative connotations in religious circles.  I only wish I had apostatized much earlier in my life.  Hanging on to thoughts and ideas simply because I was told to do so was killing me inside.  That type of conformity creates a mind-numbing existence that is very difficult to reverse. 

Being born and raised Mormon, I was programmed from a very early age to not question, to have faith, to just believe.  Once I reached my teenage years, though, I began to question not only the doctrine but also the way in which women are treated as second-class citizens.  But being the good little Mormon clone that I was back then, I shelved all those thoughts and tried to continue to go along with the program for many more years.

So when you get right down to it, I guess I was a "future apostate" for many years before becoming one in reality.  And as shown in this picture, it isn't very hard to spot the "future apostate" since they are the ones who tend to look in the other direction from the masses, looking for answers to complex questions, instead of just going along (like the "sheeple" tend to do).  But although I probably was a "future apostate" for many years, I wish that I had begun to question more deeply earlier in my life.  Woulda, Shoulda, Coulda, I suppose...

But even so, I'm just glad I finally recognized the truth when I did instead of simply going along with all the lies all my entire life.