ALL ABOUT THE TRUTH, NO LYIN' - ExMormon Song Parody

Well, it happened again... I was listening to the radio and All About That Bass came on... and my brain immediately went into parody mode. Seriously, this one wrote itself.

The truth is very important to me.  So after doing independent research about Mormonism, seeing the lies, and realizing that I had been adhering to a bogus religion my entire life, I had no choice but to leave. Either something is true or it isn't. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. No wiggle room. Period.

ALL ABOUT THE TRUTH, NO LYIN'
Sung to the tune of All About That Bass by Meghan Trainor

Because you know it's all about the truth,
About the truth, no lyin'
It's all about the truth, about the truth, no lyin'
It's all about the truth, about the truth, no lyin'
It's all about the truth, about the truth... truth... truth...

Yeah it's very clear, there ain't no facts there
And they can spin it, spin it like they just don't care
Cause they threw the facts, facts right out the window
And what's the purpose? To make a lot of dough.

I see the Mormon Church spinning the evidence,
We know that shit ain't real, come on now, make it stop.
If you got the info, info, just tell the truth,
Cause everything they say is bullshit from the bottom to the top.

Yeah, the Mormons all tell me "don't worry about the lies"
(Shoo wop wop, sha-ooh wop wop)
But I'm really not stupid and there is no compromise.
(they're lyin, uh, they're lyin', lyin')
You know I won't be no go-along close-my-mind Mormon clone
(Shoo wop wop, sha-ooh wop wop)
So if that's what you're thinking, then that little bird has flown.

Because you know it's all about the truth,
About the truth, no lyin'
It's all about the truth, about the truth, no lyin'
It's all about the truth, about the truth, no lyin'
It's all about the truth, about the truth... hey!

I'm thinking with my brain,
I found the truth and it is very plain.
No, I'm not playing, I see just what it is,
And I'm here to tell you...
Everything they say is bullshit from the bottom to the top.

Yeah, the Mormons all tell me "don't worry about the lies"
(Shoo wop wop, sha-ooh wop wop)
But I'm really not stupid and there is no compromise.
(they're lyin, uh, they're lyin', lyin')
You know I won't be no go-along close-my-mind Mormon clone
(Shoo wop wop, sha-ooh wop wop)
So if that's what you're thinking, then that little bird has flown.

Because you know it's all about the truth,
About the truth, no lyin'
It's all about the truth, about the truth, no lyin'
It's all about the truth, about the truth, no lyin'
It's all about the truth, about the truth...

Because you know it's all about the truth,
About the truth, no lyin'
It's all about the truth, about the truth, no lyin'
It's all about the truth, about the truth, no lyin'
It's all about the truth, about the truth...

Because you know it's all about the truth,
About the truth, no lyin'
It's all about the truth, about the truth, no lyin'
It's all about the truth, about the truth, no lyin'
It's all about the truth, about the truth...

Yeah, yeah... ooh... it's all about the truth...

ANOTHER ANONYMOUS COMMENT... ISN'T THAT SPECIAL?!!

Last week, an "Anonymous" person posted a comment on one of my posts.  Here's what this person said:

Wow, seriously??!!  Did I kill someone?  Did I work as a prostitute - and get caught?  Did I sell drugs? What terrible sin was I unable to overcome so I could be a member?

Well, I have to say that this comment takes the cake.  I've been writing this blog for over 5 years now, and in that time there have been a number of people who have make Anonymous comments.  But this comment is way beyond what I have seen up to this point.

In reality, though, this comment really is typical of TBMs, even if it is very extreme. TBMs essentially parrot what they are told by their leaders, that anyone who leaves the Mormon Church does so because of a finite number of reasons, the main one being that they have "sinned."  Of course, there are a few other reasons why Mormons have decided people leave the church. Here's a chart showing the actual truth:

If this Anonymous Poster had bothered to really read what is on my blog (rather than do a "hit and run"), he/she would have discovered that what lead to my disavowing Mormonism is the fact that I began independently researching Mormon Church History, and in doing so discovered its extremely sordid nature.  What followed was an in-depth study of what I had uncovered and an increasingly disturbing realization that my life-long religion was actually made up by Joseph Smith from the get-go and perpetuated by many other men since that time.  After realizing that I had been duped into adhering to a bogus religion my entire life, I could no longer be associated with such a deceptive religious organization.

It always cracks me up when someone posts an "Anonymous" comment on my blog.  Making a comment to which I can't reply directly to them is the epitome of cowardice.  Oh, they can make a comment riddled with ridiculous accusations, but then they cower in the corner, withholding their identity so an actual exchange of ideas can't be made. Isn't that special?!! 


Another Anonymous comment was posted on my blog a few years ago, and in response to that one, I wrote the below post:

And so to all the cowards out there who post anonymous comments berating people based on minimal information, I say STOP DOING THE "HIT AND RUN" ROUTINE. INSTEAD, YOU SHOULD FACE THOSE WHO YOU BERATE DIRECTLY.  UNTIL YOU DO THAT, YOU ARE SIMPLY COWARDS WITH NO BACKBONE WHO TALK A BIG GAME BUT CAN'T STICK AROUND TO HAVE AN ACTUAL EXCHANGE OF IDEAS. AND THAT IS REALLY SAD.

DON'T YOU DARE BAIL - LDS Hymn Parody #127

The leaders of the Mormon Church never cease to amaze me with the ammo they continue to give to those who have left Mormonism.  The newest example of this is a rant by Jeffrey R. Holland at a Tempe Arizona Devotional on April 26,2016.  In that rant, he said, "Don’t you dare bail.  I am so furious with people who leave this church.  I don’t know whether 'furious' is a good apostolic word.  But I am.  What on earth kind of conviction is that?  What kind of patty-cake, taffy-pull experience is that? As if none of this ever mattered, as if nothing in our contemporary life matters, as if this is all just supposed to be 'just exactly the way I want it and answer every one of my questions and pursue this and occupy that and defy this - and then maybe I'll be a Latter-Day Saint?!' Well, there's too much Irish in me for that."

And then he finished his rant by saying, "This church means everything to me!  Everything! I don't care what happens.  I don't care what price is to be paid.  As painful as that can be ans as much as I don't want to invite the test, as much as I don't want to sound arrogant or self-confident or filled with any kind of price other than the love of the Lord, this church means everything to me, and I'm not going to leave it, and I'm not going to let you leave it."  Whoa... I'm not going to let you leave it?!!  Cult much??  

Of course, memes and comments about his speech have hit the Ex-Mormon groups on Facebook like a thunderstorm (like the ones I've included here).  There's even a post on YouTube called Angry Holland about this rant.  It's all been very entertaining.  

Another outgrowth of his speech is that I immediately starting writing an LDS hymn parody in my mind (as I've said on here before, "Because they make it so easy!!").  Of course, sometimes these LDS hymn parodies write themselves, and this was one of those.

So here's my 127th LDS hymn parody, dedicated to Jeffrey R. Holland for the entertainment value... because he always knows just what to say. 

DON’T YOU DARE BAIL

Sung to the tune of True to the Faith – #254

1. When you’re faced with many questions

And it seems to not make sense,

Will you bail on Mormonism

Even though there’s no defense?  No!!

(Chorus)

Don’t you dare bail on the Mormon religion,

Though you can see that it’s full of deception.

No patty cake, that’s a mistake,

No taffy pulling, for goodness sake!!

2. Though we know that it’s a shit show,

And the lies are obvious,
Will you bail on Mormonism
And make Holland furious?  No!!

(Chorus)

Don’t you dare bail on the Mormon religion,

Though you can see that it’s full of deception.

No patty cake, that’s a mistake,

No taffy pulling, for goodness sake!!

3. While we know the sordid history

And how awful it can sound,
Will we stand by our convictions,
And not patty-cake around?  Yes!!

(Chorus)

Don’t you dare bail on the Mormon religion,

Though you can see that it’s full of deception.

No patty cake, that’s a mistake,

No taffy pulling, for goodness sake!!

4. When we hear from Jeffrey Holland

As he spews his words of fear,

What on earth would make us doubt it?

After all, it’s all so clear.  NOT!!

(Chorus)

And so I bailed on the Mormon religion,

Mainly because it is full of deception.

Leave me alone, don't even phone,
I am no longer a Mormon clone!!

© Diane Tingen, 5/4/2016

TRUTH MEANS NOTHING - LDS Hymn Parody #126

Here's another LDS Hymn Parody - the 126th I've written.  Of course, this new parody adheres to the general theme of this blog, which is that Mormonism is replete with lies and deception. What's more is that it is very obvious to me that they do not really care about "THE TRUTH."

Facts?  What are those?  Evidence?  Says who?
If we say it's "TRUE," then it's TRUE!!! 

So many members of the Mormon Church hide their heads in the sand, believing what they are told, and not doing any independent research to find out otherwise.  I know because I did the same thing.  Having been born and raised in the Mormon Church, I just went along for 52 years.  I did question things now and then, but I would just put my doubts on a shelf and trudge forward.  But you can only put so much on a shelf until it starts to crumble, and my shelf finally did that after I began to research on my own - first about Mormon Church History, and then when I realized just how sordid it is, other topics as well.  Finally it became blatantly obvious to me that the whole thing is just a scam, created by Joseph Smith for his own purposes and perpetuated by many others ever since.

So yes, I truly believe that TRUTH MEANS NOTHING to the Mormon Church.  Its members are supposed to "just believe" and "doubt their doubts."  What they're not supposed to do is what I did - engage in independent research because that's when their lies and deception are exposed.  And naturally, the Mormon Church strongly discourages (prohibits) search on the internet, and of course Google is not a friend to Mormonism.

TRUTH MEANS NOTHING

Sung to the tune of Truth Eternal - #4

Truth means nothing, never did,

Lies are covered up and hid.

Mormonism, pure deceit,

False pretense, with lies replete.

All the facts and evidence

Show the lies, there’s no defense.

All made up, so very clear,

By the prophet they revere.

Joseph Smith, a charlatan,
Clever man, the tale he spun
Now lives on despite the lies,
Bogus doctrine in disguise.

© Diane Tingen, 4/4/2016

MORMON WASTELAND - Song Parody of a Classic by The Who

Here's another song parody, this one to a classic song by The Who.  I heard this song on the radio recently, and the minute I heard it I started singing "Mormon Wasteland." Seriously, this song parody wrote itself.

It wasn't until I started doing some research about this song, though, that I discovered its real title is actually "Baba O'Riley" and not "Teenage Wasteland."  I found a very interesting article about its meaning at this link:  http://www.shmoop.com/baba-o-riley/meaning.html

I didn't know any of this... I have always thought it's a song about teenage angst.

As far as this song parody goes, my opinion of the Mormon Church fits perfectly with the title "Mormon Wasteland."  For so many years, I felt trapped inside the Mormon Wasteland, trying to "just believe," but struggling to understand things that I now consider completely absurd.  I bought into the mantra they espouse that basically says that if you are having trouble believing it, it's you and not them - that you just need to pray more, read the scriptures more, have faith, and attend more church meetings (and, you know, "Doubt your Doubts").  But regardless of how much I did those things, I still felt very conflicted. Finally, after researching Mormon Church History, I had a very significant AHA Moment and ultimately came to the conclusion that it's all completely bogus... and the moment when I had that realization was very freeing and was a huge turning point in my life.

Since leaving Mormonism behind over 10 years ago, I have never regretted leaving the "Mormon Wasteland."  So yes, I worked my way out of Mormonism's blunder, so grateful that the exodus is here and the happy ones are near (and that those happy ones include me).  After having spent 52 years inside the Mormon Wasteland, I am very grateful that I got it together before I got any older and wasted any more time on a bogus religion based on an enormous stack of lies.

MORMON WASTELAND

Sung to the tune of Teenage Wasteland by The Who

I saw the charade,

I felt so betrayed,
I turned my back on all the lying.
I don’t need to fight,
To prove I’m right,
I don’t need to be forgiven.

Don’t cry,
Don’t raise your eye,
It’s only Mormon Wasteland.

And so with the dawn,
All my doubts are gone,

Worked my way out
Of Mormonism’s blunder.

The exodus is here,

The happy ones are near,

Let's get together

Before we get much older.

Mormon Wasteland,
It’s only Mormon Wasteland.
Mormon Wasteland,
Oh yeah, Mormon Wasteland.

They’re all clueless!!

© Diane Tingen
3/30/2016

HELLO FROM THE OUTSIDE - ExMormon Song Parody ala Adele

Another song parody... this one parodying a current song by Adele.  Of course, right now they're over-playing this song on the radio so I seem to hear it every time I'm driving in my car.  So naturally, with the way my ExMormon brain works, I started adding my own words and came up with the below parody.

Not surprisingly, the theme of this parody follows the ongoing theme of this blog--that Mormonism is replete with lies, that the history of the Mormon Church is extremely sordid, and that the religion itself is completely bogus.  But thankfully, after too many years of going along and trying to "just believe," I began doing my own independent research and finally realized that it is completely bogus.  Then, after struggling for quite a while with that realization, I ultimately left Mormonism behind.  Of course, TBMs who read this will most likely say I haven't moved on because I can't seem to leave it alone... but I've covered that empty argument in previous blog entries.

So now I can loudly say HELLO FROM THE OUTSIDE... outside the confines of a bogus religion that attempted to strip me of my own voice and individuality, but in the end was not able to do so any longer.

HELLO FROM THE OUTSIDE

Sung to the tune of Hello by Adele

Hello, it’s me,
I was wondering why with all the deceit you still believe.
When you look at everything
That the Mormon Church is telling you,
It’s lies and double-dealing.

Hello, can you hear me?
Those in Salt Lake City scheming about how to hide the truth.
When I was younger, naïve,
I just simply went along with all you told me to believe.

There's such a difference between us,

And a million miles.

Hello from the other side,
I must have asked a thousand times
Why within Mormonism everything makes no sense,

But when I asked, they simply told me more lies.

Hello from the outside,
At least I can say that I’ve tried
To simply believe all the lies that they tell,
But it don’t matter, the lying doesn’t tear them apart, never did.

Hello, what’s the deal?

It’s so typical of them to try to cover-up the history
Because it’s sordid,
Just why is it that you refuse to see that all of it is bogus?

It’s no secret that the Mormon Church
Is running out of time.

So hello from the other side,
I must have asked a thousand times
Why within Mormonism everything makes no sense,

But when I asked, they simply told me more lies.

Hello from the outside,
At least I can say that I’ve tried
To simply believe all the lies that they tell,
But it don’t matter, the lying doesn’t tear them apart, never did.

Ooooohh, never did.

Ooooohh, never did.

Ooooohh, never did.

Never did.

So hello from the other side,
I must have asked a thousand times
Why within Mormonism everything makes no sense,

But when I asked, they simply told me more lies.

Hello from the outside,
At least I can say that I’ve tried
To simply believe all the lies that they tell,
But it don’t matter, the lying doesn’t tear them apart, never did.

© Diane Tingen, 1/31/2016

HOW CLUELESS CAN THEY BE? LDS Hymn Parody #125

Yes, this is a question I ask myself all the time.  Just how clueless can Mormons be to "just believe" without using any type of critical thinking whatsoever?  So many of them are very intelligent people, and although they use critical thinking in other areas of their lives, they refuse to do so with their religion.  Why is that?  It makes no sense to me at all.

Of course, I remember being that way. I was once a TBM - so yes, I was once clueless as well.  But I remedied that situation and finally paid attention to the red flags that were springing up everywhere. All anyone really needs to do is go on Google and search for "Mormon Church History," because all kinds of troubling information comes up.  That was the springboard for me--studying Mormon Church History with all its sordid details. Realizing the truth behind the facade was my biggest AHA moment - the trigger that I needed to finally awaken to reality.  The truth about polygamy was just the tip of the iceberg (as was polyandry, when I finally discovered that little tidbit of information). Obviously, that's true for a lot of TBMs who either don't know or refuse to accept all the actual facts associated with that subject, which is pointed out in the below article... "incredulous" indeed.

Interesting reading - post from "Times & Seasons"

Of course, there are many subjects that TBMs are clueless about, and they really should go on websites like the below one which contains a lot of great information about the realities behind the "Mormon Curtain."

Mormon Think website

But thankfully, like my latest LDS hymn parody says, "But some do get away, can see that it's a fraud..."  And that's what I continue to hope for--that many, many more TBMs will awaken to the reality that the religion they are adhering to is a fraud and opt to leave it all behind.

HOW CLUELESS CAN THEY BE?

Sung to the tune of How Gentle God’s Commands - #125

How clueless can they be?

How can they just believe?
They’re told to just accept it all,
Why are they so naïve?

Beneath the watchful eye
Of old men in Salt Lake,
The Mormon Church just shovels shit,
Aware that it’s all fake.

The members go along
With everything they’re told,
They’re even told to doubt their doubts,
So easily controlled.

But some do get away,
Can see that it’s a fraud.
And while they waded through the crap,
Demolished the façade.

And so the Mormon Church
With its apparent lies,
Can kiss my ass a thousand times
Since I’ve said my goodbyes.

Diane Tingen, 1/27/2016