COME YE MORMONS, FALL IN LINE - LDS Hymn Parody #112

Once again, I'm sure I sound like a broken record - but that doesn't stop me from reiterating my views over and over again.  Really, the fact that there is so more information out there that refutes what the Mormon Church holds out to be true and yet so many people are still adhering to its doctrines (apparently overlooking all the facts and evidence) that I feel none of it can be said too much.

And so I go on, posting blogs, writing LDS hymn parodies, and parodying various songs, all with the hope that some of it strikes a chord with those who are either fully entrenched in Mormonism or investigating the Mormon Church.

So here is my latest attempt at unveiling the truth about Mormonism, in the form of another LDS Hymn Parody - my 112th.  This one is about the Mormon Church wanting everyone to simply fall in line and not question anything.  Of course, the danger of falling in line, without question, is following blindly, sometimes into dangerous territory (right off the proverbial cliff).

COME YE MORMONS, FALL IN LINE

Sung to the tune of Come,Ye Children of the Lord – #58

Come ye Mormons, fall in line,
Just accept what we define.
Do not question what is said,
We will think for you instead.
Simply follow what we say,
Don’t let facts get in your way.

All we teach is good and true,
Just believe the Mormon view.

Oh, how simple it will be
When you follow mindlessly.
Research on the internet
Not allowed, don’t you forget.
Those who talk of evidence
Saying that it makes no sense,
Speak of facts and say we lie,
But their claims we do decry.

Anti-Mormon, all of it,
Saying we are counterfeit.
Vilify our history,
Bringing up polygamy.
Calling Joseph Smith a con,
As they ramble on and on.
They condemn our prophet dear,
Don’t believe a word you hear.

Stay in line and argue not,
In their web, do not get caught.
Just have faith and go along,
We will never steer you wrong.
Mormonism is the way,
Read your scriptures, always pray.
Guard against those who attack,
We will always have your back.

© Diane Tingen, 4/30/2015

YOU DON'T KNOW HOW IT FEELS - ExMormon Song Parody (Tom Petty)

Here's another ExMormon-themed song parody based on a Tom Petty song - my fifth parody of his songs.  I find it interesting that his songs have provided such inspiration for me.  Of course, like I've said in past posts, I'm a huge Tom Petty fan, so perhaps that's why they speak to me so much.

This one talks about the fact that no one knows how leaving the Mormon Church feels to someone who has left.  For me, I was frightening in the beginning [as I said in one of my other song parodies - The Leaving (was the Hardest Part)], probably because it was the only thing I had known my entire life.  I was 52 years old when I began discovering all the lies, and it took me another 2-1/2 years before I was finally able to walk away.  But when I finally did take the leap, it was truly amazing - so liberating and life-altering.  Definitely worth all I went through getting to that point.  All the researching.  All the contemplation.  All the soul-searching.  All the self-doubt.  All the struggling.  It was worth every single minute of it all to reach the point where I am now - because I am living an authentic life, finally away from a religion that tried to squelch my true personality, stifle my independent thoughts, and turn me into a clone.  That's what Mormonism attempts to do - create a bunch of cookie cutter people who mindlessly go along and "just believe" despite the mountain of facts and evidence against its validity.  I'm so glad to finally be away from that destructive mindset.

So here's my latest song parody.  I think it's funny that I've chosen to parody this one in particular because the chorus in Tom Petty's original song says, "But let me get to the point, let's roll another joint..."  How un-Mormon - and yet, somehow, so apropos...

YOU DON’T KNOW HOW IT FEELS

Sung to the tune of You Don't Know How It Feels by Tom Petty

Let me tell you how I feel
Now that I’ve had the time to heal.
Mormonism left behind,
So many lies are intertwined.

[Chorus]:
But let me get to the point, just why I split the joint,
And I’ll repeat it out loud, because I left and I’m proud.
And you don't know how it feels,
You don't know how it feels… to be free.

Went along, just believed,
Many years was deceived.
I woke up and could see
It’s not true, so clear to me.

[Chorus]:
So I’ll say it again, repeat the why and when,
Just why I walked away, I’ve got so much more to say.
And you don't know how it feels,
You don’t know how it feels… to be free.

I was Mormon, born and raised,
All those years, I wasn’t fazed.
But then I finally saw
It’s filled with lies, the final straw.

[Chorus]:
So I’ll say it again, repeat the why and when,
Just why I walked away, I’ve got so much more to say.
And you don't know how it feels,
You don’t know how it feels,
No, you don’t know how it feels… to be free.

You don't know how it feels,
You don't know how it feels
No, you don’t know how it feels… to be free.

© Diane Tingen, 4/29/2015

CLEARLY IT'S BOGUS DOCTRINE - Song Parody (Tom Petty Classic)

Here's another ExMormon song parody set to a Tom Petty song (my fourth parody of his songs). Of course, I also posted Refugee, but that doesn't count since it's not a song parody but rather my ExMormon Anthem. I don't know what it is about Tom Petty's songs, but they seem to adapt well to ExMormon song parodies. Or maybe it's just that they call out to me.  After all, I am a huge Tom Petty fan. Whatever it is, I'm very grateful to him for providing me with such great inspiration.

This one is obviously self-explanatory. Yes, Mormonism is clearly filled with bogus doctrine (as well as sordid history). Full of lies and deception. A scam - and a total fraud. IMO, it was made up from the get-go by Joseph Smith for various reasons (including being able to do whatever he wanted and say it came from God - you know, like polygamy and polyandry, marrying teenage girls and women who were already married to living husbands). Truly, I don't understand how anyone can stay when they find out the truth behind just that, let alone all the other lies (like the Book of Abraham, for instance).  So many intelligent people, buying the lies and throwing their lives away adhering to a false religion. Very sad.

CLEARLY IT’S BOGUS DOCTRINE

Sung to the tune of Into the Great Wide Open by Tom Petty

I was raised to be a good Mormon clone,
I never doubted it, stayed in the zone,
I just believed it, even when I was grown,
The future was all Mormon.

But then the questions started flooding my mind,
I started reading everything I could find,
And with the research, I was no longer blind,
The lies were apparent.

[Chorus]:
Clearly it’s bogus doctrine,
That’s why I walked away.
Clearly it’s bogus doctrine,
And that’s why I couldn’t stay.

The Mormons say that their religion is true,
But it’s so obvious they don’t have a clue,
Because they’re staying when they should say adieu,
They keep on believin’.

It’s overwhelming, the deception and lies,
They try to mask it, cover up and disguise,
But when it comes to truth, there's no compromise,
The questions have been answered.

[Chorus]:

Clearly it’s bogus doctrine,
That’s why I walked away.
Clearly it’s bogus doctrine,
So why do the Mormons stay?

Clearly it’s bogus doctrine,
Made up by Joseph Smith.
Clearly it’s bogus doctrine,
It’s nothing but just a myth.

© Diane Tingen, 4/19/2015

REFUGEE - My ExMormom Anthem

So does the word REFUGEE fit a person who has escaped Mormonism?  Oh, yes.  A person who flees for refuge or safety?  Yes again.  A person who flees a power to escape danger or persecution?  For sure.  But does Mormonism really constitute a danger?  Definitely. Mormonism imposes danger on a person's psyche and mental well-being.  It attempts to take away a person's free will.  It takes them on a guilt trip extraordinaire.  It holds people hostage by saying that if they turn their backs on Mormonism that they are throwing away their eternal salvation, thereby ensuring that they will not be part of their eternal family unit.  The chance to have a Forever Family will be denied them. Mormonism gives people the message that if they don't understand certain things, it is their own fault - that they are unworthy and unrighteous.  Routinely, "apostates" face the persecution of being ridiculed and even shunned by members of the Mormon Church as well as their own family members.  I could go on, but I'm sure you get the picture.

So much of this song speaks to me about my Exit from Mormonism.  How I would have liked to known that my father (who was very pious and dogmatic about Mormonism) would have told me, "Listen, it don't matter to me, Diane, you believe what you want to believe."  But of course, I knew that wouldn't happen, that if I had told him I no longer believed in Mormonism and had left the church, instead he would condemn me and tell me I was going to H-E-L-L.  And so I never told him, mainly because he was 90 years old when I left the church and he died two years later.  Sometimes I wish I had told him so we could have had a conversation about my reasons.  But that thought is really quite delusional because that was no way he would have participated in an actual discussion about the topic.  So I kept quiet because I didn't want to destroy the relationship we had (which was fairly easy to do since I lived in California, and he lived in Utah).

So yes, in many ways, I do feel that I was kicked around some.  And for a long time, I did lay there and revel in my abandon.  But like Tom Petty points out, everybody's had to fight to be free.  I finally did fight to be free, and I have never regretted the choice I made to extricate myself from such an unhealthy, stifling environment.  Now I am living an authentic life, and am truly happy.


In October 2010, I attended my first ExMormon Foundation Conference - and during my road trip from Denver to Salt Lake City, I played and sang this song over and over again. When I drove over the border from Wyoming into Utah, I blasted this song and sang it at the top of my lungs.  Felt so good!!

So here's my ExMormon Anthem...

REFUGEE by Tom Petty

We got somethin', we both know it,
We don't talk too much about it,
Ain't no real big secret all the same,
Somehow we get around it.
Listen, it don't really matter to me baby
You believe what you want to believe.

You see, you don't have to live like a refugee
(Don't have to live like a refugee).

Somewhere, somehow, somebody
Must have kicked you around some.
Tell me, why you wanna lay there,
Revel in your abandon.

Honey, it don't make no difference to me, baby
Everybody's had to fight to be free.

You see, you don't have to live like a refugee
(Don't have to live like a refugee)
No baby, you don't have to live like a refugee
(Don't have to live like a refugee)
No!

Baby we ain't the first,
I'm sure a lot of other lovers been burned.
Right now, this ain’t real to you,
But it's one of those things
You gotta feel to be true.

Somewhere, somehow, somebody
Must have kicked you around some.
Who knows, maybe you were kidnapped,
Tied up, taken away and held for ransom.
Honey, it don't really matter to me, baby
Everybody's had to fight to be free.

You see, you don't have to live like a refugee

(Don't have to live like a refugee)
No, you don't have to live like a refugee
(Don't have to live like a refugee)
Now you don't have to live like a refugee
(Don't have to live like a refugee).

THE LEAVING - ExMormon Song Parody (Tom Petty Classic)

Here's another ExMormon-themed song parody set to a Tom Petty song.  Yes, the leaving really was the hardest part.  From the point when I started my research (prior to going on a Mormon Church History Tour in the Summer of 2001) to the time when I realized that Mormonism is a total and complete fraud was a relatively short period of time.  But actually leaving?  That took much longer.  After all, I was born and raised Mormon, and spent 52 years as an active member.  So leaving was not an easy thing to do.  I hung on and hung on, thinking that maybe I was misunderstanding.  During that time, I held on firmly to the Mormon Mantra that I wasn't righteous enough to understand the intricacies of it all, that the ways of God are mysterious, and on and on, ad nauseum, blah, blah, blah...

My experience then was very similar to when I went to the Temple for the first time at 22 years old (the day before I got married in the Temple).  The Temple was so different than what I had imagined - full of symbolism, weird gestures, and strange hand signals, all of which was very disturbing at first glance (and second glance... and third glance... well, you get the picture).  But I bought into the Mormon Mantra then as well, tried to accept it on faith, and believed that if hung in there, read the scriptures, studied, prayed, and regularly attended my church meetings that eventually I would understand it all.  Never happened then - and it didn't happen later or during my AHA! moments when I finally realized that Mormonism was made up from the get-go (and began kicking myself for buying into it for so long).

So here's my latest song parody, which I'm posting with a huge thank you to Tom Petty for providing me with such great music as my inspiration.

THE LEAVING (was the Hardest Part)

Sung to the tune of The Waiting by Tom Petty

So happy, makes me feel like heaven right now,
And it feels like something from a dream.
Yeah, I've never known nothing quite like this,
And it feels so good since I finally got away,
It really doesn’t matter what the Mormons say,
But then no one coulda ever told me ‘bout this,
I said yeah yeah (yeah yeah)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah…

[Chorus]:
The leaving was the hardest part,
Every day I saw one more card,
I took it on faith, I took it to the heart,
The leaving was the hardest part.

Well yeah, I wish I’d found the lies a long time ago,
Too long I just went with the flow.
But then I saw I was out of touch,
I buried my head in the sand too much,
It took me a while to finally disavow
The Mormon ways and live like I wanna live now,
I said, yeah yeah (yeah yeah)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah…

[Chorus]:
The leaving was the hardest part,
Every day I went one more yard,
I took it on faith, I took it to the heart,
The leaving was the hardest part.

[Bridge:]
Oh, why did I just believe it before I saw the lies?
Why did I just believe it before I saw the lies?
After I realized, it took me quite a while
Before I walked away,
I stayed for much too long.

[Chorus]:

The leaving was the hardest part,
Every day I went one more yard,
I took it on faith, I took it to the heart,
The leaving was the hardest part.
Yeah, the leaving was the hardest part.

© Diane Tingen, 4/10/2015

A MORMON NO MORE (No, Not Me) - Song Parody (ala Tom Petty)

Here's another ExMormon-themed song parody I've written.  This one is set to the tune of a Tom Petty song (as was Even the Mormons, which I posted in December 2014).  As a side note, the video link is to a concert version of this song which Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers performed at Red Rocks (near Denver, Colorado) in October 2014 (an incredibly beautiful outdoor amphitheater to which I've been a few times since living in Colorado, but sadly not to this concert).  
Tom Petty is one of my favorite singers from way back in the 80's.  I find it interesting that so many of his songs elicit my inclination toward song parodies of the ExMormon ilk. I'm working on some other Tom Petty based song parodies, too, including: (1) The Leaving (was the Hardest Part), set to the tune of The Waiting; and (2) You Don't Know How it Feels (to be free), set to the tune of You Don't Know How it Feels (to be me).  Others I might post are ones like Refugee and I Won't Back Down, but those are the types that will probably require very few changes in the lyrics because they already fit the ExMormon theme so well.  In fact, when I drove to Salt Lake City in October 2010 for my first ExMormon Foundation Conference, Refugee was my anthem as I crossed over into Utah.

The below song parody is very self-explanatory, so I won't go into a long explanation of its meaning.  Basically, I'm a Mormon No More (aka MoMo NoMo) - and for that, I am very grateful.

A MORMON NO MORE (No, Not Me)

Sung to the tune of A Woman in Love (It's Not Me) by Tom Petty

They looked in my eyes, told me to stay,

Said “Don’t even doubt it, that would be crazy.
Why you doing research? You should just believe.”
But I didn’t stop it, that didn’t faze me.

[Chorus:]
I’m a Mormon no more,
I’m a Mormon no more,
When I really looked, it fell to pieces,
But they don't wanna see,
I’m a Mormon no more – oh no, not me.

Well alright, say what you want,
I walked away, never looked back.
I used to be the kind of Mormon
Who just went along, I just didn’t see the problem,
I simply went with the flow.

[Chorus:]
But I’m a Mormon no more,
I’m a Mormon no more,
When I really looked, it fell to pieces,
But they don't wanna see,
I’m a Mormon no more – I just let go.

[Bridge:]
Time after time, day after day,
I would look at it all
And it sounded crazy.
I don’t understand just why I stayed,
I don’t understand what compelled me,
I gave them everything and threw it all away on nothin’

[Chorus:]

But I’m a Mormon no more,
I’m a Mormon no more,
When I really looked, it fell to pieces,
But they don't wanna see,
I’m a Mormon no more – oh no, not me.

© Diane Tingen, 4/9/2015

COUNTERFEIT, A TOTAL SCAM - LDS Hymn Parody #111

Today is Easter Sunday - and it is also the Mormon Church's 185th Semi-Annual General Conference in Salt Lake City, Utah. In the Christian World, Easter is a very sacred day - but in the Mormon World, it is apparently a day to condemn and attack. So far, there have been numerous different Conference speeches that have mentioned "real families" consisting of a marriage of only one man and one woman.  Apparently, L. Tom Perry of the Quorum of the Twelve stressed the importance of opposing homosexuality, and also said, "We want our voice to be heard against all of the counterfeit and alternative lifestyles that try to replace the family organization that God Himself established."

Wow.  Counterfeit?  Obviously a case of the pot calling the kettle black.  The Mormon Church was founded by a man who, during his tenure as President and Prophet of that bogus organization, married at least 33 women, including 11 teenage girls and 10 women who were already married to living husbands - and he constantly lied about it.  Of course, after that man's death, another man took over his legacy and upped him considerably, marrying 55 women. Just how "Counterfeit" can you get?  Looking at the sordid history of the Mormon Church and examining its "doctrines," it is clear to me that Mormonism is not only counterfeit, but also a scam, a fraud, and a totally bogus religious organization.

The dictionary defines "counterfeit" as:  "an imitation intended to be passed off fraudulently or deceptively as genuine; forgery."  In my opinion, that is exactly what Joseph Smith did when he founded Mormonism - created a bogus organization which he passed off fraudulently and deceptive as genuine.  

The Mormon Church never ceases to amaze me.  "Judge not, lest ye be judged" obviously means nothing to them.  "Live and let live" is also a lost concept.  The Mormon Church's hard-line stance against gay and lesbians has caused massive damage to the psyches of so many gay Mormons, to the point of many committing suicide.  And yet they continue to berate and attempt to demean those individuals.  Not Christ-like at all.

And so, here is my 111th LDS hymn parody, set to the Easter-themed hymn, "He is Risen."

COUNTERFEIT, A TOTAL SCAM

Sung to the tune of He is Risen -#199

Mormonism, Mormonism,
Feel the love in all they say.
They condemn and spout their venom
At "apostates" every day.
Yet they say in solemn voice,
Praise the Lord, let us rejoice.

Christ-like love is touted loudly,
Loving everyone alike.
Yet their words are very empty
As they criticize and strike.
Such self-righteous hypocrites,
Calling others counterfeits.

Mormonism, Mormonism,
Counterfeit, a total scam.
Its true nature, hard to fathom,
But they just don’t give a damn.
As they talk on Easter Day,
It’s not love that they display.

© Diane Tingen, 4/5/2015