Mormonism Schism: 50 WAYS TO LEAVE THE MORMON

Thursday, May 8, 2014

50 WAYS TO LEAVE THE MORMON

I was on the discussion board on PostMormon.org today, and someone posted a message asking, "Am I Abnormal?" Here's the post:

SunnyDee: I keep reading so many stories of people who have left the church and it seems as though most people simply go inactive for a long period of time before resigning. Up until a few weeks ago I was "fully active" (did callings, held recommend, church every Sunday, whatever). In reality, it was just going through the motions, with my own issues and questions slowly brewing. One week ago I decided I was done, told DH I was done with church, and now this week I'm ready to write a resignation letter for me and my kids. Is there some sort of unspoken waiting period most people go through? I'm admittedly impulsive, but my impulse for action is never without a long period of mental/philosophical preparation and giving careful attention to detail. I just feel like getting myself away from it ASAP now that I'm firm that it's all complete BS. I've been avoiding people at church for years, this just seems like a good way to cap that all off--just get taken off the record. Is there a problem with wanting to act so fast?

Many of the responses to this post said essentially the same thing - everyone goes through this process differently. Some discover the lies and leave immediately. Others sort through everything for a long period of time before they finally decide they cannot continue to associate themselves with a devious religious organization. The key is individuality. Everything in its own time. Everyone to their own process. Nobody telling you what "the right way" is because it really is "to each his/her own."

One of the responses to this post caught me as very funny:

Brad (ZeeZrom): When it comes to leaving the LDS church, there is a wide range of normal. It can depend heavily on your personality and your personal circumstances. I left very abruptly, but didn't formally resign for over 20 years. Others ease out over time. As long as you are comfortable with how you are leaving, it's all fine.

With apologies to Paul Simon, there must be 50 ways to leave the mormon...

And naturally, since my mind is already geared to think lyrically and/or poetically about almost everything, I started singing this song in my head. At first, I thought it should remain "as is" since the wording fits not only leaving a lover but also leaving the Mormon Church (which is how I responded). But as the day went on, I started thinking of new versions of the chorus. Those variations are included in the following rendering of this song.

50 WAYS TO LEAVE THE MORMON
Sung to the tune of 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover

The problem is all inside your head

She said to me

The answer is easy if you

Take it logically

I'd like to help you in your struggle

To be free,

There must be fifty ways

To leave the Mormon.

She said it's really not my habit to intrude.

Furthermore, I hope my meaning

Won't be lost or misconstrued,

But I'll repeat myself

At the risk of being crude,

There must be fifty ways

To leave the Mormon,

Fifty ways to leave the Mormon.

(CHORUS)

You just slip out the back, Jack

Make a new plan, Stan

You don't need to be coy, Roy

Just get yourself free.

Hop on the bus, Gus

You don't need to discuss much

Just drop off the key, Lee

And get yourself free.

Oh, just get up and go, Joe,

Let the door slam, Sam,

Don’t wait til you're dead, Fred,

To get yourself free.

Just walk away, Clay,

But you do it your own way.

Just listen to me, Dee,

And get yourself free.

She said it grieves me so

To see you in such pain

I wish there was something I could do

To make you smile again

I said I appreciate that

And would you please explain

About the fifty ways.

She said why don't we both

Just sleep on it tonight

And I believe in the morning

You'll begin to see the light

And then she kissed me

And I realized she probably was right,

There must be fifty ways

To leave the Mormon,

Fifty ways to leave the Mormon.

(CHORUS)

You just get up and leave, Eve,

Tell them goodbye, Di,

You don't need to explain, Shane,

Just get yourself free.

Oh, at your own pace, Grace,

On your way to a good place,

Just listen to me, Bree,

And get yourself free.

You just follow the truth, Ruth,

Breathe the fresh air, Claire,

While you are still sane, Jane,

Just get yourself free.

Live your own way, Kay,

You don’t need to live their way,

Just listen to me, Bree,

And get yourself free!!

Diane Tingen - 5/8/2014
...with some "help" from Paul Simon - and Brad (ZeeZrom)

No comments:

MY EXIT FROM MORMONISM

As a preface to my thoughts about Mormonism (and my exit from my lifelong religion), I would like to share the following quote:

"Well, it's either true or false. If it's false, we're engaged in a great fraud. If it's true, it's the most important thing in the world. Now, that's the whole picture. It is either right or wrong, true or false, fraudulent or true."

President Gordon B. Hinckley,
Interview, "The Mormons,"
PBS Documentary, April 2007

In essence, after researching the roots of Mormonism, which obviously form its foundation, as well as examining its doctrine in depth, I have concluded that it is a great fraud. Having been born and raised in the Mormon Church, and remaining LDS until my early 50's, facing that realization was very difficult and was not done lightly.

SOME BACKGROUND:
In the Summer of 2001, I went on a Mormon Church History Tour. Before going, I decided to do some research so I would know more about what occurred at the key places when we visited them. But that was the beginning of the end for me as I discovered more and more of the sordid history of the Mormon Church. Soon, I began to realize that Joseph Smith made the whole thing up and that the Mormon Church is built on an enormous stack of lies. Sadly, I also began to realize that I had allowed the Mormon Church to pull the wool over my eyes for a very long time. But even with that realization, it took me quite a while longer to finally break away because of how intricately my life was tied up in Mormonism and how long I had been blinded by the lies Mormonism perpetuates (which, of course, is what they are counting on).

But finally, I did break away - and I have now been Mormonism Free since 2004. What I have realized during the ensuing years is that my intellectual curiosity was squelched by Mormonism. Being told to "have faith" and "just believe" was very detrimental to my psyche, particularly since so much made little sense. Trying to rationalize through everything had a negative effect on me as well, making me very confused and uncomfortable. Since that time, I have discovered that these types of feelings are called "cognitive dissonance" (a feeling of discomfort when simultaneously holding two or more conflicting ideas, beliefs, values or emotional reactions). Cognitive dissonance is discussed in greater length in a book I have written which is now available on Kindle. Since leaving Mormonism behind, I have grown so much and have discovered who I really am - and that is a tremendous gift.

As mentioned above, a book I have written is now available on Kindle. My book (entitled "Closing the Door on Mormonism: The AHA!! Moments that Triggered my Awakening") chronicles my very long journey through and away from Mormonism and discussed many of the issues that had plagued me for many years. It also contains some poems that I have written about my views concerning various aspects of Mormonism as well as discussions relative to the issues that led to my decision to eventually disassociate myself from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

In sharing my opinions and the information I have uncovered, it is my hope that I can in some small way help others by offering some insights into issues that many Mormons undoubtedly face in determining whether or not their faith has been misplaced.

For those of you who are thinking, "Oh, those Ex-Mormons - they can leave the church but they just can't seem to leave it alone," I offer this quote:

"Some of you are probably thinking, 'Why don't you just leave them (the Mormons) alone?' So I ask you, if you saw a thirsty man drinking water from a well you knew to be poisoned, would you let him continue to drink or would you guide him to a safe well?" ~Christopher Miller

While I'm sure that active Mormons (TBMs) and the Mormon Church itself would be much happier if people who have left the church kept their opinions to themselves, I cannot do that. If I can help one person to see the lies that are laced throughout Mormonism, then I will feel that my efforts have not been in vain.

As you will note, I have written many LDS Hymn Parodies (to date, 111 and counting), all of which are posted on my other blog - http://exmormonhymnbook.blogspot.com/
On that blog, you will also find an alphabetical listing of all the hymn parodies I have written.

Favorite Quotes

"The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off." ~Gloria Steinem
"To sin by silence when they should protest makes cowards of men.” ~Abraham Lincoln
"Some things that are true are not very useful." Boyd K. Packer
"I have a hard time with historians, because historians idolize the truth." ~Boyd K. Packer
"It's impossible to reach good conclusions with bad information... We're all entitled to our own opinions, but none of us can afford to be wrong in our facts." ~Mort Crim
"...just remember, it's not a lie if you believe it." ~George Costanza (Seinfeld)