WHEN I WAS QUESTIONING - LDS Hymn Parody #74

Looking back on the days when I was questioning whether what the Mormon Church teaches is true, I remember many moments when my gut feelings were that it is not.  But I continued to struggle with my conflicted feelings, wondering if I was misunderstanding the history and doctrine.  After all, I had been conditioned my entire life to just go along.  So in essence, my feelings of possible inadequacy were placed inside my psyche by Mormonism over the years.  They wanted me to think that it was all me.  They wanted me to think that I simply didn't have enough faith or wasn't "righteous enough" to fully comprehend the meaning behind it all.  Of course, that's how the Mormon Church traps people.  They work hard to make people think that if they try harder, pray more, read their scriptures more, attend church more, etc., etc., ad nauseum, then they will understand and it will all make sense.

But alas, that didn't work for me.  I continued to feel conflicted until I began to research it independently, and after a while, I realized that it is actually a fraud.  It wasn't me or my lack of faith that created the questioning inside me - it was the sordid history, doctrine and tenets of the Mormon Church.  The Mormons choose to believe that Joseph Smith is a prophet of God in spite of the facts and evidence against that assertion.  They choose to believe that Joseph Smith "restored the everlasting gospel to the earth" although the facts and evidence demonstrate otherwise.  To me, when the facts and evidence are against something that a person continues to insist is true, they are not demonstrating faith, but rather denial.  And as far as I'm concerned, TBMs  (true believing Mormons) are steeped in denial, big time.

Realizing that I had been lied to my entire life was a very painful revelation, but it is one for which I am very grateful - and I am very thankful that I will not be spending the rest of my entire life devoted to a religion that is obviously false.

My latest LDS hymn parody is set to the music for "Where Can I Turn for Peace?"  This used to be one of my favorite LDS hymns.  As I wrote this hymn parody, I kept thinking about the inner peace I found when I turned away from Mormonism.  No longer am I questioning.  My conflicted feelings have been replaced with a firm belief that Joseph Smith made the whole thing up - and others have spent many years perpetuating his lies for their own purposes.  I just wish TBMs would look at their religion with open minds, researching and examining its history and doctrine on their own, independent from the choke-hold that the Mormon Church imposes on its members.  Then, just maybe, they would come to the same conclusion as I did.

So here is my 74th Hymn Parody...

WHEN I WAS QUESTIONING
Sung to the tune of Where Can I Turn for Peace? #129

When I was questioning, looking for answers
To all the queries racing through my mind.
When with a wounded heart, seeing the errors,
I finally recognized, no truth I’d find.

The Mormon Church is filled with such deception,
When I examined it, I saw the lies.
Through sordid history to its false doctrine,
It is so clear to me, there’s no disguise.

I know that Joseph Smith was not a Prophet,
He simply made it up, that was his scheme.
He was a charlatan, there was no limit
To what he’d say or do, shyster supreme.

Why did I just believe in Mormonism
When it’s so obvious it is a fraud?
Opened my mind and then, there was a schism,
I knew without a doubt, not Word of God.

© Diane Tingen, 11/20/2012