A STACK OF LIES - LDS Hymn Parody #120

Here's another LDS Hymn Parody - my 120th.  
This parody is to a song in the LDS Children's Songbook that I always really liked - very melodic.  Back in my Mormon days, I was Primary Chorister and Pianist, and this is a song that I liked to sing and play.  Within the lyrics of the original song, it says, "What does the Father ask of us?  What do the scriptures say?  Have faith, have hope, live like his Son, help others on their way. What does he ask?  Live like his Son."  Obviously, not bad advice.  

But, of course, when I looked at this song from my current ExMormon perspective, the parody became an entirely different song and the end result highlights the "stack of lies" that are, in  my opinion, at the very core of Mormonism.

The main thrust of this parody is that the Mormon Church is built on a stack of lies, and although TBMs have obviously been brainwashed into "just believing," the internet and Google are not available to help a person find the truth - and when a person does find the truth, the key to realizing what the real truth is found in thinking for yourself.  Critical thinking - analyzing all aspects of the subject matter and applying logic to it.  If a person does that, then he/she will know what's true and what isn't.  Plain and simple.

A STACK OF LIES

Sung to the tune of He Sent His Son - #34 (LDS Children’s Songbook)

What does the Mormon Church hold out as truth beyond compare?

A stack of lies, so fraudulent, deception everywhere.

How could the Mormon Church profess to be the Word of God?

It is not true, that’s very clear – it’s fake and just a fraud.

Why do the members of the church believe that it is true?

They have been brainwashed very well, they haven’t got a clue.

But now we have the Internet, and what does Google say?

Just find the truth, think for yourself, and simply walk away.

What does it say?  Think for yourself.

© Diane Tingen, 9/24/2015

COME, SEE ALL THE LIES - LDS Hymn Parody #119

Here's another LDS Hymn Parody - my 119th (so far).  I keep thinking that I've reached the end of the road on these parodies, but they keep popping into my head so I keep writing them down.  Of course, with the wealth of material contained within Mormonism itself, as well as all the lies, deceit and deception they put out there, I guess it's really not a surprise that I can keep going.

What surprises me, though, is that there are so many people who still believe it, especially given what's available on the internet these days.  But then it's hard to tell who really believes it and those that are just going along because of personal or family pressures.  We all know people who are sticking with it because they simply can't make the separation, mentally or physically.  The Mormon Church has brainwashed so many people into "just believing," or at least "just going along."  I find that very sad.  So glad I was able to make the break and start living an entirely authentic life.

And so, here is my 119th LDS hymn parody.  The original hymn is "Come, Sing to the Lord," and that sounds very religious (and very Mormon with the whole "latter days" thing).  But I think it's interesting that my hymn parody has taken on more of a "carnival barker" vibe as in "Come, See the Bearded Lady" or "Come, See the Freak Show."  Not that Mormons are freaks, but the fact that they adhere to such an obviously bogus religion with so many strange doctrines within it is freakish all on its own.  Oh well, to each his own, right???  As long as they keep it to themselves... which they don't, so...

Something else I find interesting is that Joseph Smith bought the papyrus that he supposedly "translated" into the Book of Abraham from a "traveling mummy exhibition." Now that's something you might find at a carnival... oh, the correlations...

COME, SEE ALL THE LIES

Sung to the tune of Come, Sing to the Lord - #10

1. Come, see all the lies the Mormons tell,
And you will see all is not well
Within the Mormon Church.
And though they claim that it is true,
Come see all the lies, and get a clue.

2. The doctrine they teach and all they say,

From BOM to BOA,
Is clearly filled with lies.
And all the facts and evidence
Will show you the lies, there’s no defense.

3. When searching for truth, no compromise,
No cover-ups, not filled with lies,
I simply want the truth.
So to the Mormon Church I say,
Don’t take me to church, just go away.

© Diane Tingen, 9/21/2015

MORMON CURTAIN - Song Parody (Another Rolling Stones Classic)

Apparently, the Mormon Curtain can also
be a shower curtain, available for
purchase for $70.00 via this website.

The first time I thought of the lies within Mormonism as being unveiled "behind the Mormon Curtain" was when I found the website by that name.  The masthead on that website says: "Containing 5,703 Articles Spanning 329 Topics.  Ex-Mormon News, Stories and Recovery Online Since January 1, 2005."

It goes on to say:  "The Mormon Curtain is an
Ex-Mormon Blog containing Articles collected from News, Blogs, Ex-Mormon Communities and Forums - providing the very best posts and articles therein.  This is to aid Ex-Mormons who are on the road to recovery, Mormons who are looking for more information on their own religion, and non-Mormons who may be studying the Mormon Church on purpose of possible baptism."

When I first began researching my way out of Mormonism after going on a Mormon Church History Tour in the Summer of 2001, the Mormon Curtain website was a gold mine for me since it presented answers to so many questions that I had put on my shelf over the years as I attempted to rationalize away all that bothered me about my life-long religion.

In other terms, though, the Mormon Curtain is the façade that attempts to cover-up the lies that are laced throughout Mormonism.  It also tries to hide the fact that Joseph Smith made the whole thing up from the get-go and that numerous others have perpetuated the lies since his death.  So many lies are hiding behind the Mormon Curtain.  So much deceit. I'm so glad that I began my journey toward finding those lies and in time was able to come to terms with the fact that the Mormon Church is a total and complete fraud.

So here is my latest song parody highlighting the Mormon Curtain to the tune of Beast of Burden by the Rolling Stones.  In actuality, I can also say that the Mormon Church is no longer my Beast of Burden either.

And about those shower curtains... just Google "Mormon Shower Curtain" and an interesting array of shower curtains for sale come up.  Personally, I don't think I'd want a Mormon Shower Curtain, though...

MORMON CURTAIN

Sung to the tune of Beast of Burden by the Rolling Stones

I looked behind the Mormon Curtain,

I read for hours, my mind was hurtin’,

What I found was just a huge stack of lies.

The truth discerned behind the curtain,

Distorted facts and bogus doctrine,

It’s just a fraud that they cannot disguise.

Am I smart enough?

Am I bright enough?

Am I wise enough?

I’m not too blind to see.

I looked behind the Mormon Curtain,

Made up doctrine, completely fiction,

Lies are there for all to see,

It’s just a fraud, so clear to me.

Am I smart enough?

Am I bright enough?

Am I wise enough?

I’m not too blind to see.

Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty lies,

Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty lies,

Pretty, pretty, such a pretty, pretty, pretty lies,

Come on really? Please, please, please…

I'll tell you

You can tell me all kinds of lies,

Distort the facts you try to disguise,

But why can’t you, why can’t you,

Why can’t you drop the charade?

All deception,

I can stake it out,

Throw it all at me,

I can shrug it off.

There's one thing really

I don't understand

You keep on telling me

About the Mormon plan.

Cause I’m smart enough,

Cause I’m bright enough,

Cause I’m wise enough, in touch enough,

It’s so clear to me.

Just look behind the Mormon Curtain,

Just look behind the Mormon Curtain.

(I DON’T WANT NO) MORMONISM - Song Parody of a Rolling Stones Classic

Here's another ExMormon song parody, this one to a Rolling Stones classic - (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction.  My favorite type of music is classic rock (carried over from my teenage years) so naturally my mind goes to those types of songs to parody.

I've just about reached my max with parodying LDS Hymns (since I've written 118 LDS Hymn parodies so far and any ideas for the remaining field are becoming scarce), so I'm glad my mind has gone to such great classic rock and roll to help me carry on my parodies.  So here's a big thank you to Tom Petty, The Who, The Eagles, and now the Rolling Stones for providing me with such great inspiration - and a big thank you to Mormonism as well for making it so easy.  After all, the subject matter is ripe for the picking!!

And like this meme from my other blog - ExMormon Hymn Book - says...

This new song parody emphasizes the fact that after discovering all the lies laced throughout my lifelong religion (until I was 54 years old), I DON'T WANT NO MORMONISM anymore!! It irritates me that it took me that long to come to realization that Mormonism is built on a stack of lies made up by Joseph Smith and then perpetuated by others throughout the years - that it is a total fraud - and then, after that realization began to sink in, that it took me even longer to come to terms with that fact and actually get away. 

But get away I finally did, and I've never been happier in my life.  It feels so good to be free of the cognitive dissonance created in my mind by trying to rationalize my way through the bogus doctrine and sordid history.  Plus I'm finally living an authentic life, which is a huge reward all on its own.  

SO NO... I DON'T WANT NO MORMONISM!!

(I DON’T WANT NO) MORMONISM

Sung to the tune of (I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction by the Rolling Stones

I don’t want no Mormonism,
I don’t want no Mormonism,
Got away, got away, got away, got away,
I don’t want no, I don’t want no

When I’m seeing all the lies,
And the Mormons tell me to believe,
They’re telling me more and more
About some bogus information,
Supposed to fog all of my perception,
I don’t want no, oh no, no, no,
Hey hey hey, that’s what I say

I don’t want no Mormonism,
I don’t want no Mormonism,
Got away, got away, got away, got away,
I don’t want no, I don’t want no

When I’m reading what they say,
And the Mormons try to tell me
How saved my soul can be
If I buy into what Mormonism sells,
‘Cause heaven is just for them,
I don’t want no, oh no, no, no,
Hey hey hey, that’s what I say

I don’t want no Mormonism,
I don’t want no Mormonism,
Got away, got away, got away, got away,
I don’t want no, I don’t want no

When examining the church,
And I doubted this and not trusted that,
And I tried to make some sense,
It hit me Mormonism’s claims are really quite weak,
I’m no longer on a losing streak,
I don’t want no, oh no, no, no
Hey hey hey, that's what I say

I don’t want no, I don’t want no,
I don’t want no Mormonism,
No Mormonism, no Mormonism, no Mormonism

LIES - ExMormon Song Parody

Another song parody about the MORMON LIES.

Yes, I know I sound like a broken record, but because the lies are so blatant and yet ignored by so many TBMs (True Believing Mormons), I find it extremely frustrating. So many active Mormons are obviously intelligent people, and yet they seem to completely disconnect with reality when it comes to Mormonism, suspending any type of critical thinking and sticking their heads in the sand instead.  Why is that?

Why is the evidence against Mormonism being true overlooked by so many TBMs?

Why do TBMs choose to "just believe" when it is so obvious that Mormonism is filled with bogus doctrines and deceptive teachings?

Why do TBMs turn a blind eye to the sordid history?  In that vein, why do TBMs think it's okay that Joseph Smith married 33 women [10 of whom were teenage girls (one as young as 14) and 11 of whom were already married to living husbands]?  He even went against the parameters set forth in D&C 132 in practicing polygamy/polyandry, and yet TBMs seem to think that's just fine.  After all, according to them, he was a Prophet of God and was following instructions, right?  And after all, along with being Prophet of God, he was also a man with many imperfections.  The whole Rough Stone Rolling rationalization.

Why do TBMs ignore the anachronisms contained in the Book of Mormon, like horses, elephants, wheat, barley, steel, silk, etc. which scientists say didn't exist in the Americas during BOM times?  

Why do TBMs pass off the other problems associated with the Book of Mormon, such as the fact that no archaeological, linguistic, DNA or any other evidence of Hebrew culture in the Americas has ever been found to support the BOM?  

Why do TBMs choose to disregard the obvious plagiarism contained with the BOM?  Even aside from the fact that the BOM quotes 21 complete chapters of Isaiah and parts of others, there is also the strong possibility that the BOM was plagiarized from a book entitled "View of the Hebrews" (written by Ethan Smith) and/or based on a manuscript written by Solomon Spalding.

Why do TBMs continue to believe that it is "the most correct book ever published" when there have been 3,913 corrections made to it since the publication of the first edition of the BOM? 

Why do TBMs neglect to realize the importance of the fact that the papyrus from which the Book of Abraham was supposedly translated by Joseph Smith have been examined by both LDS and non-LDS Egyptologists, and both groups have clearly indicated that the scrolls are funeral texts that have nothing to do with Abraham or anything mentioned in LDS scriptures?

Of course, the list goes on and on and on...

The bottom line is that TBMs seem to adopt the attitude that whatever the Mormon Church tells them should not be questioned but just blindly accepted - and even the fact that it makes no sense doesn't deter them from their illogical positions.

All anyone needs to do is turn to Google for a plethora of information about all of the problems outlined above.  But the fact that the Mormon Church strongly discourages its members from researching outside the "approved parameters" keeps a lot of the members from finding information that supports the evidence against Mormonism.  Of course, the Mormon Church very cleverly labels all negative information about Mormonism as "Anti-Mormon propaganda," thereby muddying the waters sufficiently that TBMs hang their hats on anything negative being made-up and salacious.

JUST BELIEVE = NOT WISE

Having faith is all fine and good, but when there is a mountain of evidence against something being true and a person believes it anyway, then it is not faith anymore but rather DENIAL.

And so here is my latest song parody, dedicated to MORMON LIES.

LIES

Sung to the tune of Lies by the Thompson Twins

They told me it’s truthful,
So I don’t understand
Why evidence is overlooked
Within the Mormon brand.
Deceitful, dishonest,
The lies go on and on,
Deception from the Mormon Church,
It’s really just a con.

[CHORUS]
Lies lies lies, yeah
Lies lies lies, yeah
Lies lies lies, yeah
Lies lies lies, yeah

Do I have to shout it out
To make you see the fraud?
Well, Mormonism is a swindle,
Not the Word of God.
Bogus and phony,
A scam you can’t disguise,
False pretense, a masquerade,
Can’t hide the blatant lies.

[CHORUS]
Lies lies lies, yeah
Lies lies lies, yeah
Lies lies lies, yeah
Lies lies lies, yeah

They say just believe it,
But it really is too late.
It’s so obvious from my research
That the lies they can’t abate.
Deceitful, dishonest,
No matter how they’re drawn.
Don’t be deceived by the façade,
The lies on and on and on and on and on and…

[CHORUS]
Lies lies lies, yeah (in Mormonism)
Lies lies lies, yeah (create a schism)
Lies lies lies, yeah (in Mormonism)
Lies lies lies, yeah (I am not that dumb)

[REPEAT CHORUS]

AMAZING LIES - Hymn Parody #118

Well, I wrote this hymn parody to Amazing Grace, and then discovered that it's not in the LDS Hymn Book.  I really thought it was, but I guess based on what the Mormon Church teaches about grace, they decided not to include it.  After all, the Book of Mormon talks about grace "after all we can do," emphasizing that grace alone does not save a person.

On Mormon.org, this appears on the page about GRACE:

The Book of Mormon teaches, "For we labor diligently to write to persuade our children, and also our brethren to believe in Christ, and to be reconciled to God; for we know that it is by grace we are saved after all we can do (2 Nephi 25:23).  A Book of Mormon prophet named Lehi taught, "There is no flesh that can dwell in the presence of God, save it be through the merits, and mercy, and grace of the Holy Messiah" (2 Nephi 2:8).

See this link:  https://www.mormon.org/faq/beliefs-on-grace 

But regardless of the fact that this beautiful hymn is not contained in the LDS Hymn Book, I decided to parody it for the ExMormon Hymn Book anyway since it's a well-known hymn in actual Christianity.

Some of the lyrics to Amazing Grace apply completely to my Exit from Mormonism, such as:
"I once was lost, but now am found, was blind, but now I see."  Believe me, that one line says a lot.

And yes, true to the title of this hymn parody, the lies encompassed within Mormonism are truly AMAZING - thanks mainly to the creative imagination of Joseph Smith.  As I have made very clear within this blog (as well as my book, Closing the Door on Mormonism: The AHA! Moments that Triggered my Awakening), it is my firm belief that Mormonism was made up from the get-go by "dear ol' Joe," and that it has been perpetuated through the years with the aid of many others.

In my opinion, not only were Brigham Young, Hyrum Smith, John Taylor, Martin Harris, Oliver Cowdery, and so on, accomplices to Joe's deception, but the current GAs in SLC are also complicit in the deception that is embodied within Mormonism.  I have no doubt but that they know for a fact that it is a complete fraud, but they keep hanging in there, defending it to their dying breaths, in order to get their share of the pie.

So I dedicate this hymn parody to all of the men (and women) who have worked so hard to preserve Mormonism to this day, as well as to all the TBMs who buy into the deception and keep paying their tithing, thereby lining the pockets of the 15 Mormon Men Who Call The Shots.

AMAZING LIES

Sung to the tune of Amazing Grace

Amazing lies the Mormons tell,
Say it’s the Word of God.
But if you look at what they sell,
So clearly it’s a fraud.

‘Twas lies that made me finally see
That truth is nowhere seen
Within their ideology,
Deceptiveness routine.

Through many struggles and discord,

I found myself confused.
‘Tis through the research I explored
My turmoil was defused.

The search for truth began for me
When doubt entered my mind.
Discovered sordid history,
Deception intertwined.

Though it was hard to close the door,
I knew I had no choice.
Denial gone, suppressed no more,

No silencing my voice.

Amazing lies the Mormons tell,
Say it’s the Word of God.
But if you look at what they sell,
So clearly it’s a fraud.

© Diane Tingen, 8/25/2015

THE VOICE OF REASON HAS BEEN HEARD - LDS Hymn Parody #117

Ah yes, the voice of reason has been heard - and thank goodness for that!!  Having been practically born and raised Mormon, I was programmed from a very early age not to doubt and to just believe. Critical thinking was never part of the equation. Of course, just accepting things that are told to you and not questioning or digging deeper is not wise. But that's what Mormons are taught to do.  I'm so glad I finally researched on my own to find the actual truth - that the Mormon Church is built on a stack of lies.

And so the cycle has been broken.  No longer am I clinging to a religion that is obviously bogus.  So yes, I rejoice my extrication every day, so thankful for my final disconnection.

THE VOICE OF REASON HAS BEEN HEARD

Sung to the tune of The Voice of God Again is Heard – #18

1. The voice of reason has been heard,

The cycle has been broken.
Effects of Mormonism gone,
The weight of such a burden.
Rejoice, all those who turn away,
Rejoice your extrication.
Begins anew this happy day
Of final disconnection.

2. The Mormon Church is built on lies,
Duplicity its story.
So clearly it is just a fraud,
But I believed it blindly
Until I opened up my eyes
And saw the truth unfolding.
No compromise for such a sham,
Deception overflowing.

© Diane Tingen
7/26/2015

STUCK IN DENIAL - LDS Hymn Parody #116

Looking back, I am amazed at how long I hung in there, even when all the signs were pointing to the fact that the teachings and doctrines of the Mormon Church are completely bogus.  Of course, a large part of the reason for me adopting that stance was the Mormon Church's mantra that basically tells its members that if they are doubting certain teachings and doctrines of Mormonism, they need to be more humble, pray more, read the scriptures more, and attend church more - and then whatever doubts they are having will disappear.  In other words, you are the problem, not Mormonism.

Of course, this warped logic is pounded into every member's head, either consciously or subconsciously, to the point where their brains decide that going along is better than the alternatives.  And so they become STUCK IN DENIAL, grasping at straws and sticking their hands in the sand in order to avoid actually confronting the inherent problem, which is that upon actual examination, it becomes apparent that Mormonism is a total fraud.

One of the places where this Mormon mantra has been captured in scriptural terms via the Book of Mormon is in Moroni 10: 4-5, which says: 

4. And when we shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.

5.  And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things. 

So right there, in scriptural form, everyone is told exactly how it is, in no uncertain terms.  Basically what this scripture is telling us is that if we do not get the manifestation that "these things are true," then it is because (1) we didn't ask with a sincere heart; (2) didn't have real intent; or (3) don't have sufficient faith in Christ.  Of course, this philosophy has parlayed itself into all things Mormon, and not just the Book of Mormon itself. 

Being "Stuck in Denial" is not a pleasant place to be. Denial certainly isn't productive.  Someone who is in denial basically accepts things as they are presented without delving into any foundation, background or basis for those teachings.  They accept whatever explanation is given - or not given - as the gospel truth.  They dare not scratch the surface to reveal anything underneath.  And they naively believe that those telling them "how it is" have no ulterior motives.  
When I finally extricated myself from the grasp of denial, I realized that I had been blindly following a bogus religion for my entire life. Not an easy thing to admit. When I finally was able to muster the strength to actually leave Mormonism behind, I finally felt free not only from the exhausting mental gymnastics I had been playing for so long but from the grasp of DENIAL itself.

So here is my 116th LDS Hymn Parody, dedicated to the state of DENIAL in which every Mormon has to dwell in order to continue to accept the obviously bogus tenets of Mormonism.  

STUCK IN DENIAL

Sung to the tune of Faith of Our Fathers – #84

1. Stuck in denial, clinging still

In spite of signals, proof and fact.
Oh, how their minds reject details
When with the truth they interact.
[Chorus]:
Stuck in denial, masquerade,
The Mormon Church, a huge charade.

2. Stuck in denial, nothing learned
When just believing what they say.
And through the truth, you will be free
From all the games the Mormons play.
[Chorus]:
Stuck in denial, masquerade,
The Mormon Church, a huge charade.

3. Stuck in denial nevermore,
Finally saw through the web of lies.
So many years, just went along,
But now there is no compromise.
[Chorus]:
Stuck in denial, masquerade,
The Mormon Church, a huge charade.

© Diane Tingen

7/16/2015

THE 15 MORMON MEN WHO CALL THE SHOTS - LDS Hymn Parody #115

With yesterday's passing of Boyd K. Packer, I'm sure I'm not the only who is relieved that he won't be able to spread his unique brand of toxicity anymore.  But even aside from that perk, his passing has reminded me not only of all the horrible things he said during his many years on the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of the Mormon Church, but also the tenor and overall substance of the Top 15 in general.  The fact is, this is a group of 15 elderly men who are completely out-of-touch with reality.  They spew venom regularly and single out groups of people who they deem to be sinners and pass judgment on them.  

In an article that appeared in the Salt Lake Tribune on March 3, 2015, it was pointed out that
80 is the average age of the Top 15.  Just look at these ages:*

FIRST PRESIDENCY:

     Thomas S. Monson - 87.53 years

     Henry B. Eyring - 81.75 years

     Dieter F. Uchtdorf - 74.32 years

QUORUM OF THE TWELVE APOSTLES:

     Boyd K. Packer - 90.48 years (dec'd 7/3/2015)

     L. Tom Perry - 92.57 years (dec'd 5/30/2015)

     Russell M. Nelson - 90.48 years

     Dallin H. Oaks - 82.55 years

     M. Russell Ballard - 86.40 years

     Richard G. Scott - 86.32 years

     Robert D. Hales - 82.52 years

     Jeffrey R. Holland - 74.25 years

     David A. Bednar - 62.71 years

     Quentin L. Cook - 74.48 years

     D. Todd Christofferson - 70.10 years

     Neil L. Andersen - 63.56 years

*This list was from March 2015, so they are even older now.

In my opinion, that's a horrifying list - and not just because of their advanced ages.  Even aside from that obvious fact, the bottom line is that they are completely out-of touch and apparently refuse to see that they are increasingly alienating people with every passing day.  Sadly, even removing Boyd K. Packer from the group doesn't make it any more palatable.

It should be interesting to see who BKP's replacement will be.  As far as I've been able to find, they haven't replaced L. Tom Perry yet.  But then, there are so many potential douchebags to choose from that I'm sure it's a hard decision for "the Lord" to make...

Of course, BKP was his own special brand of horrible and awful.  The ridiculous quotes are endless. Like when he said, "Some things that are true are not very useful."  Through this philosophy, he tried to whitewash not only the sordid history of the Mormon Church but also is bogus doctrines.  And of course there's the horrible things he said about gays and gay marriage.  So glad he lived long enough to see the Supreme Court make gay marriage legal in all 50 states!!  Maybe that was what finally put him over the edge...

And of course, since I'm of the firm belief that the Mormon Church is a total fraud, was a hoax from the beginning, is replete with deceptive doctrine, and is filled with lies made up by Joseph Smith, it's very clear to me that the Top 15 are perpetuating those lies for their own purposes.  They have all made a career out of "hocking" the Mormon Church, and most of them sit on various Boards of companies that make them a lot of money (such as Beneficial Life).  To publicly admit that they know it's a fraud would be financial death for them.  And God forbid they should have any degree of honesty and integrity. 

So here's my latest LDS hymn parody, dedicated to The 15 Mormon Men who deem themselves to be holier-than-thou, spout their venomous and condescending views at every opportunity they are given, and guard the Mormon Party Line (and their pocketbooks) with their very lives.

THE 15 MORMON MEN WHO CALL THE SHOTS TODAY

Sung to the tune of An Angel from on High - #13

The 15 Mormon Men

Who call the shots today
Are really just a joke
With all the games they play.
Enforcing laws and making rules
When they are just a bunch of tools.
Enforcing laws and making rules
When they are just a bunch of tools.

There’s Monson and Uchtdorf,
And Eyring at the top.
With others in the Twelve,
A truly frightful crop.
They’re out of touch and very old,
Their hands and hearts extremely cold.
They’re out of touch and very old,
Their hands and hearts extremely cold.

It’s very clear to see
That all the 15 men
Know surely it’s a fraud
But they all say Amen.
They spew the Mormon Party Line
As truthfulness they redefine.
They spew the Mormon Party Line
As truthfulness they redefine.

With Boyd K. Packer gone,
His reign of terror through.
A truly dreadful man
Who ugliness would spew.
And all the awful things he said,
His legacy now that he’s dead.
And all the awful things he said,
His legacy now that he’s dead.

But in the Mormon Church,
Such venom is revered.
And those like BKP
Are not considered weird.
And so the others follow course,
And ride the same old tired horse.
And so the others follow course,
And ride the same old tired horse.

© Diane Tingen
7/4/2015

RESEARCHING ON GOOGLE - LDS Hymn Parody #114

Lately, I seem to be on a Google kick more than ever. I just posted a song parody that I wrote based on a classic Eagles song (Lyin' Ways) that references Google, and now I've written a new LDS hymn parody about researching on Google. Of course, the fact that Google is so incredibly awesome is the reason I promote it so much. Truly, a person can find just about anything on Google... and it sure helps with researching difficult questions.

With advent of the internet and the invention of Google (as well as other search engines), it has become very difficult for certain truths to be covered up and hidden (as they were in the past). Looking back at my 52 years in the Mormon Church, I really wish there had been Google way back when. It really would have helped and would have made it so much easier to find out the reality of the sordid history of the Mormon Church and its bogus doctrines. Perhaps I would have left the church even earlier...

Of course, there are those who want people to think that Google doesn't have all the answers. Such as religions and churches (and cults). Google is a gateway to true knowledge, though, whether or not religious leaders want to admit that. After all, it isn't Google itself that has the answers - it just gives people places to look to provide answers to questions that are perplexing them. In my opinion, that's a VERY good thing.

So thank you, Google, for providing questioning people with so many avenues to explore and find answers. You really are awesome!! 

RESEARCHING ON GOOGLE

Sung to the tune of Redeemer of Israel – #6

Researching on Google,
The internet age,
On whom for true knowledge we call.

The evidence shown
By the all-knowing sage,
Through you, we uncover it all.

We know you are showing
The truth to us all,
And our lives are much better now.
No longer we’re banging
Our heads on the wall,

So here at our keyboards we bow.

How long we have wondered
Why we just believed
In the Mormon Church for so long.
But through our research
We’re no longer deceived,
By using your engine so strong.

As users of Google,
Good findings for us,
The benefits offered are clear.
Whatever we seek,
You’re a total genius,
To Google, we give a big cheer!!!

© Diane Tingen, 6/16/2015

SMART WOMAN!!

LYIN' WAYS - ExMormon Song Parody of an Eagles Classic

My run of parodying Tom Petty songs seems to be waning, but the Eagles are taking up the slack. Lyin' Eyes is one of my favorites (one, that is, of many), and it was just screaming to be given an ExMormon spin. I may just follow-up with parodies of more Eagles songs...

Obviously, the lyrics I've written for this parody are very self-explanatory. It's really just more of the same... pointing out the lies, deception and denial of actual facts and the real truth. You know, just another day in Mormondom.

This song parody says "Just Google it 'cause nowadays, there ain't no way to hide your lyin' ways."  So true.  Years ago, before the internet age, it was harder to find evidence to back up the fact that the Mormon Church is built on a stack of lies, but not now.  Of course, this is why the Mormon Church (like many other cults) essentially prohibits its members from doing independent research or going on "Anti-Mormon" websites.  Of course, the term "Anti-Mormon" is simply a way to attempt to scare people and make them cower and obey.  It's a way to keep them from finding the truth so they rely on only what they are told by the Mormon Church.

From what I understand, they are now asking members in the temple recommend interviews whether they have gone on any "Anti-Mormon" websites, and presumably if they admit that they have, they are denied a recommend and/or advised sternly to stay about from such filth.  Their tactic for keeping the masses in line.  After all, it's all about control, power... and money.  Don't wanna lose any of those tithing funds being donated to a multi-multi-billion dollar tax-exempt corporation.

BTW, the video I've posted with this song parody is from 1977, and I think it's apropos that the lead singer in this video (Glenn Frey) is wearing a t-shirt that says University of Colorado on it since I'm living in that beautiful state now.  

LYIN' WAYS

Sung to the tune of Lyin’ Eyes by the Eagles

Mormon folk just seem to hang on tightly

Even though it’s all a stack of lies.
You point it out but they won’t look too closely,
Despite the fact it’s all a thin disguise.

Look at facts and it becomes apparent,
All the lies are there so clearly if you look.
Though the evidence is obviously blatant,
They can’t see it’s just a bunch of gobbledygook.

So they just believe and grasp at straws together,
And choose to simply look the other way.
But they don’t know it’s simply jibber jabber,
Because in the darkness they all choose to stay.

[Chorus]
You can't hide your lyin’ ways
As you sing one more strain of craze.
Just Google it ‘cause nowadays,
There ain’t no way to hide your lyin’ ways.

I’m so glad that I have seen through the deception,
Have found the lies that they have tried to hide.
But though I know I’ve reached the right conclusion,
Many Mormons say that I’m the one who’s lied.

For they will not admit they’re in denial,
They cling to what they’re told is Word of God.
But hanging on doesn’t mean that it is truthful,
And sadly, their religion is a fraud.

[Chorus]
You can't hide your lyin’ ways
As you sing one more strain of craze.
Just Google it ‘cause nowadays,
There ain’t no way to hide your lyin’ ways.

It amazes me that Mormonism
Can draw so many people in with lies.
They bend the truth, creating such a schism,
When clearly what they say the truth belies.

But there are those who don’t think it’s deceptive,
They go along and blindly just believe.
Though it’s not wise to cower and be passive,
So many Mormons seem to be naïve.

My, oh my, they sure know how to arrange things,
They set it up so well, so carefully.
Ain’t it funny how the Mormons talk of blessings,
When all it took is simply being me.

[Chorus]
You can't hide your lyin’ ways
As you sing one more strain of craze.
Just Google it ‘cause nowadays,
There ain’t no way to hide your lyin’ ways.
There ain’t no way to hide your lyin’ ways,
Mormons, you can't hide your lyin’ ways.

© Diane Tingen, 6/14/2015

Yes, just Google it 'cause nowadays,
There ain't no way to hide your lyin' ways...