WHO'S REALLY THINKING? LDS Hymn Parody #88

It never ceases to amaze me that there are very intelligent people who are members of the Mormon Church, and yet they seem to suspend their intellect in order to continue to believe in Mormonism.  Take my brother, for instance.  He is a very intelligent man who has a Master's Degree in Library Science (albeit from BYU).  He has been Assistant Director of a library in a Georgia town for many years.  He has a lot of information stuffed into his brain - and what he doesn't know off the top of his head, he can find in an instant.  But when it comes to the Mormon Church, he epitomizes the edict to "just believe."  No critical thinking seems to be going on - at least, not as far as Mormonism is concerned.

From 2006-2010, I lived in Georgia - and when I first moved there, I told my brother that I had not been to church in almost two years.  Of course, he said, "Well, it's never too late to go back."  When I told him that I didn't want to go back, he said, "It all boils down to whether or not you believe Joseph Smith was a Prophet of God.  If he was a Prophet of God, then it's all true.  But if he wasn't, then it's all a lie.  As for me, I believe that Joseph Smith was a Prophet of God who restored the gospel in these latter days, and so I believe that the Mormon Church is the Word of God."  It amazed me at the time just how rote he sounded - almost like a recording.  But then, since our parents joined the church when I was only 10 months old, and he is 17 months older than me, he was brainwashed from a very young age just as I was.  Sadly, though, he has never progressed to the point of really questioning it, in earnest.  At least, that's the way it seems.

Why doesn't evidence mean anything to the Mormons?  Facts do not lie.  But they don't seem to be concerned with evidence or facts.  Any time something comes up that doesn't make sense, they go into auto-pilot and repeat this mantra:  "We are mere mortals and do not understand the ways of God.  We cannot understand everything in this life, but if we remain faithful and endure to the end, then our minds will be opened to all things and we will know that it was worth it."  I heard this little speech from my late father so many times over the years that I lost count. 

So here is my 88th LDS Hymn Parody - and truly, when it comes to Mormonism, Who's Really Thinking???

WHO’S REALLY THINKING?
Sung to the tune of Who’s on the Lord’s Side? - #260

1. Who’s really thinking? Who?
Within the Mormon Church?
We ask it with concern,
Who’s really thinking? Who?
They simply go along,
Have faith and just believe.
But it is all a fraud,
Who’s really thinking? Who?

(Chorus)
Who’s really thinking? Who?
Within the Mormon Church?
We ask it with concern,
Who’s really thinking? Who?

2. Though Mormonism claims
To be The One True Church,
That claim is fraudulent,
Who’s really thinking? Who?
Just research on your own,
And you will plainly see,
It is a stack of lies,
Who’s really thinking? Who?

(Chorus)
Who’s really thinking? Who?
Within the Mormon Church?
We ask it with concern,
Who’s really thinking? Who?

3. When I began to think,
To really use my brain,
The question would arise,
Who’s really thinking? Who?
The Mormons just accept
Whatever they are told,
They cling to all the lies,
Who’s really thinking? Who?

(Chorus)
Who’s really thinking? Who?
Within the Mormon Church?
We ask it with concern,
Who’s really thinking? Who?

4. The truth has set me free,
For I have walked away,
And now I ask myself,
Who’s really thinking? Who?
The Mormons are not wise
To blindly just accept
The doctrine they are taught,
Who’s really thinking? Who?

(Chorus)
Who’s really thinking? Who?
Within the Mormon Church?
We ask it with concern,
Who’s really thinking? Who?

© Diane Tingen, 2/28/2013

IF YOU JUST GO ALONG - LDS Hymn Parody #87

For so many years, I just went along with whatever the Mormon Church told me was true.  If they had told me the wall was red, rather than blue as I saw it, I would have accepted that the wall was red and there was something wrong with my eyes and my ability to see correctly.  Even when I did begin to have doubts, I put them up on my shelf, just like a good Mormon girl/woman, and believed that if I prayed more, read the scriptures more, studied more, attended all my meetings, etc., etc., ad nauseum, then somehow it would all miraculously make sense.  Sadly, though, that never happened - and when I finally began doing my own independent research (in violation of the mandate that Mormons are only supposed to read approved materials because everything else is faith-destroying Anti-Mormon Propaganda), I began to realize that I had been duped my entire life.

There are a lot of Mormons out there who just go along, who follow the admonition to "just believe."  But what they are putting their faith in is actually an enormous stack of lies.  If I could talk with each one of them, I would tell them to please do their own independent research - not to let the Mormon Church pull the wool over their eyes any longer, but to find out for themselves.  A religious organization telling its membership not to research outside the approved parameters is one sign of a cult.  If there was nothing to hide, then it wouldn't matter what they read or look at.  I know Mormons don't want to accept the fact that their church is actually a cult - I denied that for many years.  When I would hear the Mormon Church called a cult, I would become insulted and strongly defend it saying, "Oh no, it's not a cult!!"  But in reality, the Mormon Church is most definitely a cult as is confirmed by studying the characteristics of cults on websites such as http://www.cultwatch.org/ (and in particular, see http://www.howcultswork.com/).  Also, please see Stephen Hassan's website, http://www.freedomofmind.com/.

And so, here is my 87th LDS Hymn Parody, highlighting the fact that Joseph Smith was a crook who invented Mormonism for his own purposes - and ever since his death, other men have perpetuated the hoax that he created way back then.  I just wish that those who are trapped inside the Mormonism could see the real truth because by accepting everything blindly, they are giving their power away. 

IF YOU JUST GO ALONG
Sung to the tune of Let Us Oft Speak Kind Words - #232

If you just go along and don’t question,
Accept what they say to believe,
Every piece of the dubious doctrine,
Denying they work to deceive.
Allowing the church to entrap you,
As in Mormonism you stay,
Not looking at each contradiction,
But giving your power away.

(Chorus)
It’s so clear if you look, Joseph Smith was a crook,
And he made it up from the start.
So don’t just go along, ask some questions,
Do research and take it to heart.

Looking back, I can see the denial,
With sorrow, I sadly recall
When some doubts would arise, I would squelch them,
I blindly accepted it all.
But finally, I started to question
In earnest, my research began.
And soon I could see Mormonism
Was made up by one twisted man.

(Chorus)
It’s so clear if you look, Joseph Smith was a crook,
And he made it up from the start.
So don’t just go along, ask some questions,
Do research and take it to heart.

© Diane Tingen, 2/23/2013

JOSEPH, JOSEPH, WHAT A SCOUNDREL - LDS Hymn Parody #86

Some of these LDS Hymn Parodies just seem to write themselves, and my most current one is a prime example of that.  It's like the meme says that is posted on my other blog - (http:/exmormonhymnbook.blogspot.com) -
"LDS Hymn Parodies - Because they're just asking for it."

As anyone who follows my LDS Hymn Parodies knows, Joseph Smith is the subject of many of them - and rightly so, since he's the man who made the whole thing up, out of thin air.  In studying history, it is very clear that Joseph was a scoundrel and a shyster.  He was a charlatan, a treasure seeker, always out for a quick buck.  According to history, he was also very charismatic, and it was because of that charisma that he was able to convince a lot of people that he was a Prophet and Seer.  Indeed, Joseph found his goldmine in creating Mormonism - and in doing so, he gained power and control over a lot of people.  Because of that power, he was even able to create and practice Polygamy and Polyandry, coercing many young girls and women (even women who were already married to living husbands) to become one of his 33 wives.

And so, here is my 86th LDS Hymn Parody, dedicated to "Brother Joseph."

JOSEPH, JOSEPH, WHAT A SCOUNDREL

Sung to the tune of Israel, Israel, God is Calling - #7

Joseph, Joseph, what a scoundrel,
He created such a fraud.
Mormonism was his angle,
Touted as the Word of God.
Pure deception, pure deception,
Just a hoax, a false façade.
Pure deception, pure deception,
Just a hoax, a false façade.

Joseph, Joseph, what a shyster,
Not a Prophet and a Seer.
He was clearly an imposter,
Not a tiny bit sincere.
Do some research, do some research,
All the facts are crystal clear.
Do some research, do some research,
All the facts are crystal clear.

Joseph, Mormons still revere you,
Worship you, their Prophet dear.
Faced with truth, they loudly argue,
Close their ears so they can’t hear.
Mormonism, Mormonism,
False religion, very clear.
Mormonism, Mormonism,
False religion, very clear.

Joseph, Joseph, very callous,
Made it up, no truth at all.
Mormonism, clearly bogus,
Really was the height of gall.
So deceptive, so deceptive,
Truth is written on the wall.
So deceptive, so deceptive,
Truth is written on the wall.

© Diane Tingen, 02/22/2013

SO PEACEFUL NOW - LDS Hymn Parody #85

Looking back on my years as an active Mormon, I remember so many times when I was riddled with doubt.  Trying to push those lingering feelings aside seemed useless, but despite feeling that way, I just kept going - pushing forward, putting my doubts up on my imaginary shelf, and telling myself that I just needed to be more faithful and trusting.  After all, being born and raised Mormon, I had basically been taught that if I was having trouble accepting things, then it was something within me, not a flaw in the doctrine or teaching.  A type of brainwashing, in my opinion.  Questioning was okay as long I conceded that in the end, the doctrine was perfect and I was a mere mortal, struggling with attempting to comprehend eternal principles.  As my father used to tell me, "We may not understand it all, but if we remain faithful and endure to the end, someday our minds will be opened and we will understand it all - and then we will know that it was worth it."  Somehow, though, I could never get to the point where I felt comfortable with that supposed knowledge.

Once I began questioning in earnest, though, and began doing my own independent research, I started realizing that the Mormon Church is built on an enormous stack of lies.  It was then that I realized I had allowed the Mormon Church to consume my life by letting them dictate what I was to believe as well as my every thought and action.  I had simply gone along my entire life, and even though I had struggled to understand and accept it all, I had remained a devout Mormon through it all. 

Was I happy in that perpetual state of uncertainty?  No, I wasn't.  True happiness had eluded me because I had been living a life that someone else had hoisted on me and with which I wasn't in harmony.  It was then that I realized I needed to extricate myself from Mormonism and live an authentic life.  Once I did that, I finally reached a state of mind that I had longed for my entire life.  Peace.  Total and complete peace within my mind and soul - and that is priceless.

So here is my 85th LDS Hymn Parody, dedicated to the peace I have felt within myself ever since putting Mormonism behind me and moving forward into an authentic life.   

SO PEACEFUL NOW
Sung to the tune of Our Savior's Love - #113

So peaceful now,
The truth has set me free at last.
Think about how
The struggling has passed.
Tried to believe,
But so much made such little sense,
The lies they weave
Are clear... just false pretense.

For many years
I put so much up on my shelf,
Shed many tears
So torn within myself.
But now I know
The Mormon Church is built on lies,
The facts all show
That there… is no disguise.

Such joy inside,
The fear and doubt have left my soul.
My tears have dried
And I am finally whole.
No doubts remain
That Mormonism is a fraud.
Deception plain,
It’s not… the Word of God.

© Diane Tingen, 2/20/2013

REVIEWING MORMON HISTORY - LDS Hymn Parody #84

My latest LDS Hymn Parody (#84) addresses the sordid history of the Mormon Church.  Having been born and raised Mormon, and having stayed in the church for 52 years, it baffles me now how I could have gone along for so long when it is so obviously false.  I thank my lucky stars that I went on that Mormon Church History Tour in the Summer of 2001, and that I decided to do my own research before, during and after the trip, because otherwise, I may have stayed in the Mormon Church my entire life.  Sadly, I used to be very trusting, naive and gullible.  Almost complacent.  Although I had many questions for many years that I put up on my "shelf," it wasn't until I began to discover the actual history of the Mormon Church that I began to question in earnest.  The Summer of 2001 was the turning point for me.

When I started writing these LDS hymn parodies, I never imagined that I would write 84 of them - and since I have other ideas on the back-burner, I'm sure I will eventually write even more than that.  As my daughter put it, I seem to have a knack for blasphemy (said tongue-in-cheek since she's an ExMormon, too).

So here is my 84th LDS Hymn parody, dedicated to Joseph Smith and the hoax he created and perpetuated.  May he NOT rest in peace.

REVIEWING MORMON HISTORY
Sung to the tune of Improve the Shining Moments – # 226

Reviewing Mormon history
From 1830 on
When Joseph Smith created
One big religious con.
He was a practiced swindler,
A charlatan supreme.
Inventing Mormonism
Was really just a scheme.

Review the Book of Mormon,
So clearly plagiarized
By Joseph Smith and Rigdon,
They cleverly disguised
The origins and background
Of “scripture” they revised,
A book by Mr. Spalding,
So easily surmised.

Such sordid and disturbing
Events were taking place.
A fraudulent religion,
What a complete disgrace.
From New York to Ohio,
The Kirtland Banking fraud,
It’s clear that Mormonism
Is not the Word of God.

And then on to Missouri
As Joseph led the way,
Convincing all the members
This is where they would stay.
But people in Missouri
Soon tired of the Saints,
Extermination order
Then followed their complaints.

The Saints out of Missouri,
To Illinois they fled.
Just following their Prophet,
Believing what he said.
In Nauvoo they did prosper,
But shit soon hit the fan
As Joseph Smith’s influence
Grew more throughout the land.

Polygamy created,
Commandment, Joseph said.
His motives were suspicious
As 10 young girls he wed.
And he wed married women
With husbands living still,
Til 33 they numbered,
Just couldn’t get his fill.

The name of Fanny Alger
Is right a-top the list,
Though Cowdery loudly argued
And simply did insist,
That what they had together
Was plainly an affair,
But Joseph was insulted,
Legitimate, he'd swear. 

Polygamy increasing,
The Nauvoo Temple built.
Masonic ceremonies,
Soon introduced full tilt.
Then Joseph Smith declaring
For President he’d run,
Though it was not too likely
That Joseph would have won.

That was in January
Of 1844,
And only six months later,
His death would close the door
On all that he envisioned,
The power that he craved,
Wherever he could get it,
Immoral and depraved.

They say he was a martyr,
In Carthage Jail, he died.
While there, a mob attacked him,
From death, he could not hide.
But martyr does not fit him,
When studying the facts,
He was incarcerated
For some illegal acts.

Would a religious martyr
Destroy a printing press
And then burn down a building?
Surely God would not bless
Such obvious aggression
When truth had been revealed,
Polygamy uncovered
By Joseph Smith concealed.

I think it is appalling
That Mormons everywhere
Accept the gospel doctrine
And simply aren’t aware
Of things within the history
That cry out “It’s not true,”
Exposing Mormonism,
Deceptive, through and through.

Examine Mormon history,
Alarming facts unfold.
So camoflagued and whitewashed,
Some facts are never told
Within a Mormon chapel,
Where ignorance they breed,
Just say it didn't happen,
Denial is their creed.

Of course, the facts of history
Are totally obscured
By Mormons in denial,
Actual truth detoured.
But anyone reviewing
The facts and evidence
Will see red flags a-plenty
If they use common sense.

© Diane Tingen, 2/5/2013

Interesting reading:

http://historyofmormonism.com/

http://www.religioustolerance.org/ldsbom.htm

http://solomonspalding.com/index3.htm

http://www.mormoncurtain.com/topic_spaldingmanuscript.html

Interesting pictures:

 

Three of the earliest Mormons:
Sidney Rigdon, Oliver Cowdery, and Joseph Smith

Title page of one of the earliest anti-Mormon publications,
E. D. Howe's Mormonism Unvailed: Or, A Faithful
 Account of that Singular Imposition and Delusion,
 from its Rise to the Present Time (1834), which claimed
 that the Book of Mormon was written by Solomon Spalding.

An anti-Mormon Political Cartoon from the late 19th Century